


Love the Moon

by lovelyairi



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: "Crossdressing", Alternate Universe - Historical, Duty, Fictional Kingdoms, First Times, Honour, I don't specify how old they are but they are both over 18, Jongin is at least 24 and Kyungsoo is 20, Loyalty, M/M, Minor Character Deaths, Please read them carefully, Traditional views on Gender Roles, Violence, a long journey, mentions of homophobia but nothing too descriptive, other warnings will be placed in notes before chapters!, slight angst, tyranny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:28:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 46,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25999033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelyairi/pseuds/lovelyairi
Summary: It all begins when General Kim Jongin sees an unfamiliar carriage entering Feraveth's palace wallsAnd it ends when he sees Consort Do Kyungsoo from Zelithiel
Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai
Comments: 30
Kudos: 67
Collections: EXOventure Round 1 2020





	1. Feraveth & Zelithiel

**Author's Note:**

> A/N  
> This was... an adventure in itself LOL  
> I had many thoughts writing this and it took me a very long time to put it together  
> I'll be adding a bonus chapter of sorts after reveals just to state some of my thoughts and to share the writing process a little because it was kinda hilarious :')  
> A big warm thank you to my wifey, my sister and my good friends T & R for helping me get through this  
> This was an idea I've had for a long time and the inspiration comes from a few things,  
> The Myth (2005) being the biggest one of them all followed by Inuyasha, Mulan II (I didn't think it was that bad...) and Love the Moon by VIINI (the title of this story)  
> Please look out for the notes before each chapter for warnings and such!  
> Thank you to the mods for allowing me to participate in this fest, I really am happy to be a part of this!  
> And thank you to everyone who made it possible, please give all of these amazing adventures lots and lots of love <3  
> THIS HAS NOT BEEN BETA'D OR EDITED (I gave it a quick read through, please be forgiving :') )

There's tension in the autumn air yet the sky is bright and the sun is shining down on the palace of Feraveth as General Jongin is making his rounds of the walls. His footsteps are heavy and his head is held high as he watches over every movement of the palace. It was nearing the end of the season and it was growing colder and colder each day but today was unusually warm. The palace was quiet but he could imagine how loud the marketplace would be today, sometimes he missed the livelihood of it all. There was nothing that needed to be tended to and there wasn’t anything other than a few deliveries of dairy and produce that needed to be warranted. Jongin would need to be at the servants gate to assess those deliveries but that wasn’t till later that evening. Usually the deliveries were made early in the morning however Jongin could recall a messenger arriving in the deliveries stead. Jongin is making his way towards the kitchen when suddenly he notices the movement in the palace shifting.

Jongin’s eyes follow the flow of guards and what he doesn’t expect however is for the gates to be opened without his command. His steps are quick as he makes his way towards the palace gates. His mind is running with a million different thoughts but it’s too much for him to focus on as he sees a very unfamiliar carriage. Unlike the deep red oaks of Feraveth this carriage was light like that of birch wood from the Northern kingdom of Zelithiel. Jongin does not know why this visitor from the North is coming unannounced however he has no intention to let them past the gates without good reason. He was not informed of any guests today and as General, it was his duty to identify everyone who came and went from the palace. 

“State your purpose-” Jongin begins however he’s interrupted by the sudden feeling of someone grabbing his arm. Jongin turns his head and sees Yixing, the King’s assistant, giving him a frantic look. Jongin opens his mouth in preparation to scold Yixing for obstructing him of his duties but once again, he’s interrupted.

“This carriage is to be let in. Orders from the King. You are requested by his Majesty at this very moment General,” Yixing’s voice states no form of argument and Jongin reluctantly nods his head. As said General however, Jongin is shocked that he wasn’t informed of this visitor. Their Kingdom as well as the other four were all peaceful and so it wasn’t as though Jongin was in need for his skills of leading an army but he was in charge of the palace’s security. There weren't any deliveries or visitors that Jongin didn’t know about and nothing regarding the gates ever bypassed him. So why now? Jongin glances at the carriage that is now inside of the palace and he inhales sharply when he sees a woman holding the reins of the horse leading the carriage. It was an uncommon practice in Feraveth. Jongin had an unease rising in his chest from not properly checking the carriage before it entered the palace however, the King was waiting for him. 

It takes much self control for Jongin to leave the palace gates. Despite feeling confused, Jongin does his best to walk calmly to the King’s pavilion though his strides are longer than they usually are as he tries to make haste. The previous General, Jongin’s father, had told him how important such a title was and that each and every duty of his was to be carried out proficiently and without mistake. Letting in an unknown carriage felt like the most dire mistake he could ever make and it went against everything his father had taught him before he retired. Jongin crosses the large open pathway that leads to the King’s pavilion which rests in the heart of the palace. The eunuch standing outside sees him and bows his head.

“Your Majesty, General Kim has arrived,” the eunuch bellows and Jongin takes a deep breath as he’s allowed entrance. It’s customary for him to keep his head low and he immediately bows in the presence of the King, not lifting his head once as he takes a seat in front of him. Between Jongin and the King was a thin curtain that only showed his silhouette at most. Usually when they met like this (which was rare) there would be a screen made of beads between them. Jongin can only assume that someone else will be in this meeting with them, otherwise why would the servants go through the extra effort to keep the King concealed despite everyone in the palace knowing his face? 

“Listen carefully General,” Jongin immediately tenses up and he tries to keep as still as possible, showing the King that he was listening with every ounce of his being. The King however, doesn’t speak right away. The silence is suffocating and Jongin can feel sweat brimming along the edge of his head band, he takes a deep breath and he doesn’t know what to expect. That is until he hears a soft announcement coming from outside.

“Your Majesty,” the eunuch said simply and Jongin could see the King waving his hand in response to that as the doors slid open. Jongin frowns, who was this person that they weren’t heavily addressed in front of the King himself? Even Jongin had his presence announced and the King has known him since he was a child. The stranger steps into the King’s pavilion as the doors slide shut once more and Jongin doesn’t lift his head to look since he doesn’t have permission to do so. The stranger takes a seat on a cushion next to him and Jongin’s eyes widen at the fresh scent of flowers but he’s not sure which ones. There’s a fluttering pink fabric in his peripheral vision and it reminds him of the cherry blossoms he’d seen when he visited the southern part of the Kingdom of Zelithiel in the Spring. That was it, the scent was that of cherry blossoms. Jongin unconsciously steals a quick glance and he sees dark hair and long lashes but the King clears his throat and Jongin lowers his head once more.

“General, this Do Kyungsoo from the Kingdom of Zelithiel who is to serve as a consort to Lord Oh of Southern Feraveth,”  _ Do Kyungsoo _ ? The name sounds strong but gentle at the same time. It didn’t sound very… feminine to Jongin in the slightest. Kyung meant Bright and Soo meant Flowering, brightly flowering? Maybe it explained why she carried such a pleasant scent with her. The meaning of her name was beautiful and Jongin wasn’t too familiar with the names from the North, maybe it was a common name for women in Zelithiel. 

“I want you to escort Do Kyungsoo and her maidens to the southern palace safely,” the King orders and Jongin hesitates to answer right away. If he was gone then who would serve his duty in the palace? Jongin was the head of the army, the head of security within the palace. Could the King not send one of the Commanders in his stead? 

“It is of utmost importance that she be escorted safely and there is no one I trust more to do so then you General. I want no risks regarding this mission. The Kingdoms are at peace, you may go as so,” the King is clearly in no room for discussion and Jongin holds back the sigh in his throat. He was never at ease when he had to leave the palace, especially not to go towards the southern part of Feraveth. 

“Yes your Majesty, I only require some days to prepare for the journey,” Jongin replies with his head nearly touching the floor. 

“I grant you two. I expect you and your group to depart by the dawn after tomorrow,” the King says and though Jongin is sure that he needs more time he doesn’t protest. With his head so heavy with many thoughts Jongin doesn’t hear Kyungsoo being excused first but he does recognize that it was now only he and the King left in the room. Jongin prepares to leave, bowing once more before he stands up. The King stands as well and Jongin immediately lowers his head since he stands taller than the King does.

“This mission is extremely important Jongin, do well,” the King says in a hushed whisper and Jongin’s eyes widen at the sudden vulnerability. He nods his head and he leaves the pavilion in haste. It’s been much too long since he heard his name spoken by the King. Jongin exhales deeply and he wonders when Lord Oh even found interest in someone like Kyungsoo to covet her like so. The whole Kingdom was well aware of the southern Lord’s bad reputation. Lord Oh was an irresponsible man who bought the many pleasures money could buy and he used the Kingdom’s money to do so. Jongin shakes his head to avoid thinking too much and he shuts off his thoughts for a split second as he exits the King’s pavilion. Jongin begins to take the pathway on his left that leads to the Crown Prince’s pavilion, he could use some guidance from a friend right now. 

As a strong breeze brushes past him he raises his head and he sees a very unfamiliar entourage being led by Yixing. Jongin pauses for a moment as he stares and he sees that Kyungsoo brought three servants with her. They were all females wearing bright colours but the colour in their clothes were less vibrant than Kyungsoo’s. Kyungsoo had a thin veil covering her face that concealed her features completely but Jongin could see her long black hair flowing freely in the wind. Jongin’s lips unconsciously part as he watches Kyungsoo and her entourage disappear down one of the many palace pathways and the way she moved with such grace as her robes flowed in the wind was breathtaking. Jongin was mesmerized by one dangerous second that he immediately reacted to by forgetting about it completely, hurrying towards the Crown Prince’s pavilion. 

When Jongin draws closer and closer to his destination he notices that the palace was busier than usual. The servants were all rushing about and there was a sense of unease in the wind. Jongin clenches his fists and he turns left at the last pathway right by the palace walls. He still remembers how the King had argued with his son about how as the Crown Prince he should live in the Sun pavilion which lay close to the King’s Earth pavilion and the Queen’s Moon pavilion but the Prince had chosen a smaller pavilion near the wall. The King had told him that it was dangerous for a member of the Royal family to live so close to the wall but the Prince had been adamant. Jongin halts as he looks at the wall of the palace and he remembers how he and the Prince used to play along the walls as children, climbing it and looking out beyond the palace walls at what seemed to be the whole world at the time. 

“No wonder it was taking you so long. I did not expect to find you spacing out here Jongin,” the teasing voice could only belong to one person and Jongin isn’t surprised to see the Prince already waiting for him. Once their eyes meet they both smile in relief of being with each other again and the Prince playfully gestures for him to follow. Truthfully, Jongin doesn’t even need to follow the Prince through the narrow pathways because he too has already memorized the way to the small garden behind the Prince’s pavilion. It was the main reason why the Prince chose this pavilion to begin with, it had just been a place to store books and tools before. They pass a small patch of white flowers before they reach the garden and Jongin feels the tension in his shoulders easing at the sound of the pond and the flitting koi fish. There’s a small desk as well as a cushion sitting beside the large tree in the middle of the garden and Jongin sees that the books were closed and the brush hadn’t even been dipped in ink. 

“I thought you were supposed to be studying Sehun,” Jongin smiles and he says the Prince’s name in a hushed voice. It’d been an agreement of theirs since they were children to continue using each other’s names even if their titles changed. In their Kingdom it was disrespectful for anyone to call the Crown Prince or General as anything but such however, Jongin and Sehun weren’t ashamed of their names and having someone see them as themselves rather than their title provided comfort no one could ever understand. Jongin watches as Sehun leaps over the pond, his shoes slipping on the grass which causes him to nearly tumble into the water. Jongin already has his hands out as a precaution but Sehun doesn’t need his help, laughing and giving him a cheeky grin when he avoids falling. Sehun walks over to the cushion and takes a seat as Jongin does the same, taking a seat on the grass next to him. 

“I do not feel at ease leaving the palace,” Jongin states into the afternoon air. His eyes don’t leave the ripple of the koi fish in the water and he empathizes with how happy they must be, protected in their little pond. 

“Need not worry about the palace General. I am more worried about you and this mission of yours,” Sehun’s voice lowers during the latter of his sentence and Jongin raises an eyebrow. Sehun had always been a genius at finding information within the palace, even if it was something he wasn’t supposed to know about. Jongin doesn’t care about that part but he does wonder what Sehun means by that. 

“There have been rumours lately. Possibilities of a civil war between the North and South of Feraveth. Perhaps this is my father’s way of appeasing my uncle?” Sehun speculates and Jongin frowns. It all made sense, from what Jongin did know about Lord Oh, but it wasn’t his job to support theories like this. He was simply meant to follow orders and he would do as such. It was as straightforward as escorting Consort Do to the Southern palace and he would complete his duty. It would take a fortnight at most and he knew they would have to pass through the farmlands before heading along the river and through the mountain pass to reach the Southern palace. 

“Come back in one piece Jongin,” Sehun says with sincerity and Jongin rolls his eyes. Sehun punches him in the arm and they both laugh. 

“Of course I will, thank you Sehun,” Jongin pats his friend on the shoulder and he stands up to leave. As he’s stretching, Sehun rises beside him with a knowing smirk on his face.

“Did you see the consort? Is she beautiful?” his tone is a little too casual and playful for Jongin’s liking but he humours him with a response anyways. Jongin looks towards the palace wall and he recalls how he felt looking at Kyungsoo.

“Consort Do has a veil covering her face but her hair is long and she moves with grace. There was something about her, she seems so far away. Perhaps because she is from Zelithiel? I do not know but she was captivating,” Jongin spouts unconsciously and his eyes widen in alarm at his own mistake. Sehun seems taken aback as well, not expecting Jongin to have been honest with his thoughts on a woman. Dismissing the growing tension in the air Sehun smiles and he rests an arm across Jongin’s shoulders.

“Well it seems you answered my question in more ways than one. Could it be the ever serious General Kim admits that a woman is beautiful?” Sehun teases and Jongin rolls his eyes again, pushing his friend off of him. 

“I have matters to attend to. I will see you before I leave?” Jongin can’t hide the question in his voice. Sehun nods his head and he waves him away nonchalantly.

“Go on, prepare safely. We shall meet again before you leave,” Sehun reassures him with a silent promise and Jongin takes those words to heart as he steps out of the garden. Jongin follows the pathway against the wall knowing that while Sehun’s pavilion was towards the west wall the gates were towards the south. As he passes by numerous servants he thinks that a small group of about three soldiers would be enough for this mission. Kyungsoo had three servants with her and they would need only a small carriage. Jongin didn’t want to make it clear that they were escorting anyone important, maybe just a noble but definitely not a foreign consort. It would be much swifter to travel with less people as well, he would need to bring people he trusted. Jongin arrives at the gates and he heads into the guards quarters to find soldiers. Once he peers into the main room he’s immediately greeted by the soldiers standing around and he nods at them. 

As Jongin ventures further he finds the group he was looking for. He can tell because of the boisterous voice telling a story and the eruptive laughter reacting to each and every word. Jongin smiles and he enters the last room on the right, it was a small room that was occupied by Byun Baekhyun, Kim Jongdae, Kim Minseok, and Park Chanyeol. Jongin knocks on the door loudly before he slides it open and he sees that they’ve once again moved their futons closer to Baekhyun’s so that they could lie down and listen to him speak. He smiles at the sight and they all greet him casually since they’d all been great friends since their training days. Today was one of the days where the newest soldiers took the shifts at the gates with a few veteran soldiers watching over them which would explain their ease. Minseok however is a bit more stiff since he was the newer member of the guard and Jongin hadn’t particularly warmed up to him yet. Baekhyun is the first to loudly acknowledge him of course.

“Afternoon General! What brings you to our humble quarters?” Baekhyun asks him and he doesn’t seem affected by Jongin’s sudden arrival at all. He looks at Minseok for a second and enters the room.

“Leave us Minseok, I have private matters to discuss with these three,” Jongin says and Minseok obeys him in a millisecond, standing up in a hurry but stumbling because his legs are numb. He gives Jongin a sheepish smile when Chanyeol chuckles at him and Jongdae gives him a pat on the behind before he hobbles out of the room, closing the door securely behind him. Jongin joins their little circle and they all sit up appropriately, waiting patiently for him to speak. 

“I have been assigned a mission by his Majesty. I am to escort a woman and her servants from Zelithiel to serve as a consort to the southern Lord Oh. I want you three to accompany me on this mission,” Jongin says in a concise manner. The expressions on their faces are unreadable for a split second but they look at one another and nod their heads slowly. 

“I will accompany you General,” Baekhyun chimes first,

“As will I General,” Chanyeol follows,

“And I will as well General,” Jongdae finishes. Jongin nods at their loyalty and he stands up again with a sigh.

“I am grateful to you three. Tomorrow we will meet to discuss our plans, I must make sure we are thoroughly prepared. His Majesty expects us to depart the dawn after tomorrow. You three must also prepare for the long journey ahead of us, that will be all,” Jongin nods at them all for confirmation and they return it. Jongin steps outside and he sees Minseok standing at the end of the hall, looking a little dejected. He approaches slowly and places a hand on his shoulder,

“Work hard Minseok,” is all he says and before Minseok can reply to him he gives him one firm pat on the shoulder before letting go. Jongin exits the guards’ quarters swiftly though he does make sure to check whether or not everything was going smoothly. He couldn’t take another surprise visit today. Jongin looked up at the sky for a brief moment to see that the sun was already setting. The palace was soon filled with it’s warm light and Jongin wanted to embrace what’s left of the day before it was gone. But he couldn’t. He had too much to do. Jongin heads towards the kitchen and he enters, looking around for the head maiden. 

“The King’s advisor has already informed us General, we will have everything prepared for your journey,” a voice startles him from behind and Jongin looks over his shoulder to see the head maiden standing outside of the kitchen. Jongin steps aside so that she can enter and he nods his head.

“I am grateful,” Jongin says and he leaves the kitchen. He walks down the pathway for a moment and is surprised to see that the sky was already darkening. There’s a bitterness on his tongue and he frowns as he slowly continues down the stone pathway. They would leave at dawn under the cover of night and they would ride past the vast farms outside of the town below the palace. Then they would follow the river to avoid going through the towns and finally they would reach the mountain pass that would lead them to the Southern palace. It was a journey he’d made before but he couldn’t deny the unease. The mountain pass was never safe to travel and there were too many chances for something to go wrong. Jongin could only hope that they would be safe and that there’d be no problems. He decides to return to his pavilion since there wasn’t much more to do today and lacking sleep wouldn’t do him any good.

The night falls above him and he breathes in the cold air as he follows the familiar paths. The General’s pavilion wasn’t necessarily luxurious but it  _ was  _ much better than sharing a communal space with the other guards. It was located near the east wall and was beside the guest pavilion as well. Jongin wasn’t alarmed by the sight of someone in the garden that parted the two pavilions but he wasn’t expecting it to be Kyungsoo. The garden wasn’t visible from the main pathway and could only really be seen when entering either place. And when Jongin was passing by he paused. The garden was much grander than the one near Sehun’s pavilion with a large pond that had a small wooden bridge running over it. The garden was filled with seasonal flowers and if Jongin knew more about plants maybe he could appreciate it more. The sight of Kyungsoo under the rising moon was breathtaking and Jongin stepped closer.

With his eyes focused on only her, he realized that her face wasn’t covered by her veil. Kyungsoo was looking down at the koi fish or possibly her own reflection in the pond below but Jongin noticed the slight redness in her eyes. They were bright but they carried a wet sheen of unshed tears. Jongin exhaled deeply as he looked at her face for the first time, he knew that he shouldn’t be looking but he couldn’t tear his gaze away. There was something about Kyungsoo’s face that was captivating. Her face itself was round and her skin was pale, her eyes were large and her lashes long. Her nose was tall and round but her lips were truly something else. They were plump and so pink they rivaled the pink of her robes. Kyungsoo’s eyebrows were very thick and almost unruly but for some reason it didn’t seem strange on her face at all. All of her features shouldn’t look as beautiful as they do. Kyungsoo runs her hand along the railing that she was resting against and she mumbles something under her breath. 

Jongin clears his throat and her head lifts immediately, her lips parted as if she was about to say something. Their eyes meet and Jongin is trying to ignore the draw he feels from her unusual beauty. When he’d first seen her he thought she would be dainty and soft like most of the women he’d seen but Kyungsoo was different. Jongin approaches her slowly as to not alarm her any further but he doesn’t step onto the bridge. Kyungsoo turns to him and she doesn’t move, neither does Jongin.

“Consort Do, you should not be alone at night, it could be dangerous,” Jongin says in an uncharacteristically gentle voice and she doesn’t reply. The palace was supposed to be the safest place in the Kingdom, however realistically, it was never truly safe for anyone at night.

“Where are your servants?” Jongin asks a bit louder and Kyungsoo simply sniffles and wipes her unshed tears with her sleeve. She then pulls out her veil that was a little crumpled from being stuffed into her robes and she puts it on her face. Kyungsoo bows to him deeply before she hurries off of the bridge and into the guest pavilion. Jongin stands there for a moment, wondering if he’d offended her somehow. He wasn’t too well versed with the customs of Zelithiel but he dismisses the strange encounter. Jongin turns around and he glances at the moon hanging low in the sky before he enters his own pavilion, closing the door securely behind him. Jongin removes his armor and he strips down into his thin robes before he rests in his bed. Kyungsoo’s situation was unfortunate, there was no denying that, but it wasn’t part of Jongin’s duty to get involved. And so he won’t.

  
  
  


It’s the sound of a rooster crowing that wakes him the next morning. It was the same sound that always woke him yet this morning was unlike others. Jongin woke from a dreamless sleep and his mind was elsewhere as soon as his eyes had opened. Last night though he’d slept promptly, he’d been unable to actually succumb to sleep leaving him completely restless. Jongin usually had a fair share of dreams, but last night had been blank. There was something strange about this mission. It was clear to him and obviously to Sehun who’d shown his skepticality towards it all. Jongin runs his hand down his face and he sighs. He knows that he shouldn’t question the King and so he doesn’t dwell on it much longer, he should begin his day before he runs out of time when he was already so limited with it. With much effort Jongin pulls himself out of bed and he looks around his still dark room with heavy eyes before he stands up. He steps out of his room and makes his way left, towards the bathroom.

Jongin doesn’t bother closing the door behind him but he was delighted to see that there was a steaming hot bath already waiting for him. He’d have to thank the head handmaiden of his pavilion when he saw her. Jongin could only hope that he would see her before he left. Jongin removes his sleeping robes and he folds them carefully before he slides the door closed and he climbs into the bath. Jongin leans back as he sits in the wooden tub and he washes his face with one of the cloths on the side of the bath. It was much smaller than the Crown Prince’s or the King’s for that matter but the fact that Jongin even had his own bath was a luxury in itself. He allows himself a little indulgence, knowing that at dawn the coming day he and his men would have to set out. Jongin sighs in content as the hot water eases the knots in his muscles and he runs the cloth along his body, making sure to clean every crevice before he reluctantly finishes.

Jongin dries himself off and he removes his headband and lets his hair loose from the top knot it was previously in. He pats his hand into a translucent powder and rubs it into his hair before he grits his teeth and combs it through. Once that was done Jongin put his hair back into it’s bun and he put on his headband once more, before the indentations in his skin could even out. He crosses his pavilion with no clothes on and he returns to his bedroom. There’s a chill in the air and he hurries to put his robes on, or he’ll end up getting sick. Jongin exhales deeply as he begins to put on his armor, not enough for a war but enough to keep himself safe if anything happens. He shudders at the thought. His father had been General during a more dangerous time whereas he was General during an era of peace, which was something he was thankful for of course. Jongin reaches for his sword which he keeps beside his bed and he ties it to his sash before he heads outside. 

The morning was cold and he could feel it seeping into his bones despite his many layers of clothing. Today wasn’t warm like yesterday was, but perhaps Jongin was reading into the shift in the palace too much. He gives the guest pavilion a sparing look to make sure everything was as it should be before he heads to the guard’s quarters. However something catches his eye and he turns back. There in the garden was none other than Kyungsoo. Jongin was shocked to see her, considering how early it was. This time she wasn’t standing at the bridge but she was sitting beneath a large tree, there was a small bench placed there for when the guests wanted to chat and enjoy the scenery. However Kyungsoo was alone. She seems small in the distance and Jongin wants to come closer but he isn’t sure whether or not he’s allowed to. Kyungsoo lifts her head and she meets his eyes once more as the sun begins to rise behind her, the light creating a halo around her silhouette. Jongin swallows hard and he bows to her before he takes the pathway to the guard’s quarters. 

Jongin’s breath was caught in his throat as the sky brightened above him and he tried to clear his thoughts, he had too much to do today, he couldn’t spend his time thinking about Kyungsoo like this. She truly was beautiful, like a deity trapped in a human body. Jongin shakes his head, he wasn’t supposed to gawk at the nobles like that, he was the General of Feraveth. Jongin clenches his fists and he remembers what he has to do. He’d have to meet with Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Jongdae, make sure that their plan was secure before they met for departure at dawn. Jongin composes himself and he keeps an eye on everything as he passes through the palace, the Royal family wasn’t to be awoken until the sun was fully risen but everyone else in the palace had already woken and was going on with their daily duties. Jongin’s were just a little different today. The guard’s quarters weren’t that far from his own pavilion and the moment he reaches he approaches the night guards to relieve them of their duty.

“Call on Minseok and Youngjae to take over your shifts, Jongdae will not be on guard duty for the coming days,” Jongin says to the two who bow deeply the moment they see him. Junhong and Jongup are quick to comply and they practically rush out of there. Jongin can’t help but smile, they weren’t much younger than he was but they were definitely eager and they still had some of their childlike qualities that Jongin never had. Once he turns around he sees that Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Jongdae were already waiting for him, all geared up and standing in a single file with smiles on their faces. Jongin returns their smiles but without showing too much expression, he didn’t need the other guards thinking that there was some kind of favouritism here. Jongin leads them towards his office and he enters first before holding open the curtain for the others to follow. It was a secluded area and it was safe for strategizing.

“General, what is your plan for this mission?” Chanyeol asks first and Jongin pulls out the map of the Kingdom that was safely rolled and left in a box along with the other maps he had at his disposal. It takes him a moment to spread out the map but the others help and soon enough, they have the rolled piece of paper pinned down and Jongdae turns on the lantern on the table. Jongin thinks about the route he’d mapped out in his head and he grabs a wooden stick to point at the map.

“First we will depart from the guard’s entrance once dawn hits, I want us to use a small carriage, enough for 4 people. We are only escorting 4 people thankfully but they are women and of small stature from what I have seen and they should be comfortable enough. From there I want us to exit the town from the west end so that we can follow the river,” Jongin points to the markings on the map as he speaks. There were a vast amount of fields between the town and the forest and he knew it would take them some time to reach it. 

“I do not see the need for us to enter any towns for supplies since we should have enough however I am not opposed to this. There are a number of small towns not too far from the river though I would prefer not to pass through them to avoid any attention,” Jongin continues and he can’t truly remember the path he had taken as a child. It’d been a long time since he visited the Southern part of Feraveth, that had been back when his father was still General. 

“We will continue along the river until it leads us to the mountain pass. We are to pass through slowly for our safety. There are a number of small towns just beyond the mountains but we should be able to reach the palace within that day. I expect the mission to take us a fortnight at most, taking our guests comfort into consideration,” Jongin finishes and he looks up to see if there are any disagreements. The other guards don’t seem to have any issues and he smiles at them.

“Everything should go smoothly, I have no reason to believe it will not. However, I want you all to be prepared. Spend the rest of the day preparing for our journey. I expect to see you all before the cock crows,” Jongin concludes the meeting and Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Jongdae all stand tall, saluting at him. Jongin nods at them and they all exit the room. Jongin seeks his personal messenger who usually stood around at the gates waiting for an order from him and relays the meeting time to him, telling him to inform the guests. Jongin didn’t really have the leisure to do so himself since he had to report to the King. Jongin’s footsteps are heavy as he returns to the middle of the Palace and he sees Sehun exiting the King’s pavilion as he reaches the courtyard. Sehun was walking with a tense jaw and hatred in his eyes, his eunuch and servants were having difficulty trailing behind.

“His  _ Majesty _ is in a foul mood, my friend,” Sehun hisses and Jongin doesn’t have time to turn in surprise. For the eunuch standing outside of the King’s pavilion was already announcing his arrival. Jongin enters with his head low and he sees that the King was behind a curtain again. What was the King being so cautious for? Unless he had some reason to have Kyungsoo and her entourage to visit him again. Jongin dismisses the strange behaviour for now, it wasn’t like he was someone close to the King after all. Not unless they were in a time of war.

“Your Majesty, I have finalized my plans with three soldiers who I have chosen to accompany me. Byun Baekhyun, Park Chanyeol and Kim Jongdae. We will depart before the cock crows and we will go through town before we follow the river through the mountain pass arriving at the Southern palace,” Jongin reports flawlessly and the King grunts in confirmation. There was definitely tension in the room and Jongin could barely breathe since the air felt so thick. 

“Do not fail me General Kim,” is all the King says and Jongin doesn’t feel the need to stay any longer.

“I will not Your Majesty,” Jongin replies and he leaves the pavilion. Well at least he’s gotten that out of the way he thinks as he breathes in fresh air for the first time in the past few minutes. Sehun is still standing in the courtyard and Jongin already knows to follow him once he begins walking. Sehun’s eunuch and servants all give them an ample amount of space and he wonders what his friend has to tell him. They walk along the less occupied pathways in the palace and Sehun still seems angry, Jongin can practically see it fuming off of him.

“My uncle, Lord Oh, the King’s brother, however you would like to call him began to covet Consort Do the moment he saw her. He visited Zelithiel not too long ago, though I am not sure where Consort Do is from. I was not told whether or not she was a noble or simply a whore. Judging by how she carried herself in your words, she is not a common woman,” Sehun says in a hushed voice. Jongin doesn’t reply at first, knowing that Sehun was sure to figure out anything he wanted to. 

“I was confused as to why my uncle would choose a Consort from another Kingdom when there are so many women here for him. It was odd, especially seeing how Zelithiel so easily gifted her to my uncle and why my father is going to such lengths to ensure her safe arrival. An escort from Feraveth’s very own General? It seemed like too much to me,” Sehun says with a frown between his brows and Jongin hummed in response. It was an agreement. The muddle of thoughts in his head had all been put into perspective by Sehun’s own words. Jongin had the same curiosities and wonders as his friend. However unlike Sehun, Jongin wasn’t hungry for that knowledge. Perhaps that was why the gods had given Sehun a chance to rule the Kingdom whereas Jongin would forever follow orders. 

“I loathe that my father appeases my uncle like so. Is that any way to rule a Kingdom? In fear of our other half? The South is part of Feraveth as well and under my father’s rule. I do not wish to lead the Kingdom like my father has,” Sehun’s anger seemed to have subsided into a different emotion. One Jongin wouldn’t understand. The previous General had been strong since the day Jongin could remember and he’d taught Jongin like he was his own. Jongin doesn’t say anything, not knowing what to say when Sehun was making complete sense. Everyone in the Kingdom of Feraveth was aware of Lord Oh’s many concubines and Jongin wasn’t surprised that that knowledge had been spread to other Kingdom’s. He had seen how sad Kyungsoo was at her fate and it made Jongin not want to complete his mission. To end it before it even began. But he couldn’t.

“I am aware of how difficult things must be for you Jongin. Come home safely. My uncle is not to be trusted and if he attempts to swindle you, you must stay true to your King. Most importantly, stay true to me. Your dearest friend,” Sehun emphasizes and Jongin nods his head. Sehun pulls him into a hug and Jongin relishes in the warmth for a moment. He allows his guard to lower ever so slightly but it rises again when he hears familiar giggles. Sehun sighs and Jongin does as well, but less noticeable than his friend. 

“Dearest brother, I knew I would find you here!” Jongin pulls away from the hug and he sees Yerim with her lavender coloured robes, she was a beauty and would only become more beautiful as she grew for she was only 16 moons of age. Sehun wasn’t fond of her but he cared like any older brother would. Jongin on the other hand didn’t know what to think about her.

“And why were you looking for me Princess?” he asks in a dry tone and Jongin tries not to laugh. It’d been amusing to say the least, seeing the two siblings grow with each other. Yerim steps closer and only then does Jongin notice that she wasn’t alone, she was with Kyungsoo. Sehun notices this as well and his eyes widen when he sees her for the first time. She keeps her eyes low and her hands clasped naturally in front of her. As always, her veil is secure on her face.

“Because wherever you go I am sure to find General Kim! How are you today?” Yerim comes a little too close for comfort and Jongin gives her a polite smile as he takes a step back. Sehun rolls his eyes and he pushes Yerim back a little since he’s technically allowed to do that. Not in a way that would hurt her of course, they were standing on uneven stones. But just enough to put himself slightly closer and Jongin further behind.

“I am doing well princess, how are you?” Jongin replies and he smiles at her. Yerim beams at the attention and he finds her cute, he really does. But he thought of her as the Princess and his friend's sister, that was all. Yerim however, had been fond of him since they were children. She’d often follow him around or disrupt the servants in search of him and Sehun since the two were rarely apart. 

“I am well General! I was just showing Consort Do around the palace,” Yerim turns and gestures to Kyungsoo and Jongin doesn’t really know how to reply. Yerim had to be aware that Kyungsoo wasn’t going to be a guest at their palace for long right? She was probably bored or using this as an excuse to get out of her studies as usual. If there was one thing the siblings had in common it was definitely their lack of interest in their studies. Yerim is about to ask him something else but Sehun pushes himself in between them.

“Princess, I am sure you are aware of how busy the General is. Let me escort you back to the main path. I have not introduced myself to our guest yet,” Sehun says quickly and Jongin thanks him. Before he leaves however he gives Sehun’s hand a squeeze and he looks into his eyes. This would be their last time meeting before they parted and it was a silent promise to stay safe and to return home soon. Jongin bows once more and he leaves the uneven pathway, passing by Kyungsoo who watches him go without him knowing. 

  
  
  


It has been a few hours since Jongin retired to his room to prepare for the mission himself. He’d laid himself down to rest as early as he could however he couldn’t find sleep at all. No matter how much he chased it. Jongin sits up from his bed in the darkness and he turns on the lantern by his bedside. It’d be awhile till he would be able to sleep in his own bed again and he’d been hoping that his last night in bed would be a wonderful one. Alas, the guilt was eating him inside out. Jongin was the General of Feraveth and he would be escorting Kyungsoo, Consort from Zelithiel to what would practically be a future imprisoned. The thought made his stomach turn. But as General, the mission was his responsibility and he was to make sure that everything would go smoothly. There was a lot of pressure on his head and it’d been a long time since he felt uncertain with one of his King’s orders.

Jongin decides that now would be the proper time to prepare and head out. Jongin puts on a normal robe, not one for nobles or commoners, something in between. It made him uneasy to travel without his armor but to keep any suspicions hidden he would need to blend in. He does still carry his sword though, sure to tie it to his sash tightly. Before Jongin leaves he grabs something from one of his drawers. It was always in the same place and he smiled whenever he saw it. However, there was always a sense of melancholy in his chest when he looked at it, despite its beauty. It was a pin. Metal shaped into gusts of wind holding onto a flower shape with pink beads. It was the only thing he had from his mother. Jongin had been left at the palace gates in a small basket tied up in a blanket held together with this pin. It was a symbol of luck in his eyes and he brought it with him every time he left the palace for long amounts of time. It was a pin for women but Jongin didn’t care. It was important to him.

Jongin exits the General’s pavilion with his head held high and he goes to wake the consort and her maids, it was his job to see the mission through from start to finish after all. Jongin steps outside and he doesn’t look back. As he glances over to the garden however he’s surprised to see that Kyungsoo wasn’t there, having grown accustomed to her untimely visits. He wonders if she’s woken and ready yet, he hoped that the messenger delivered his message promptly because he didn’t have time to wait for her to get herself ready. Jongin turns away from the garden sharply and as he does he walks right into someone. Surprised he holds onto the person before they fall and a gust of wind rushes past them. Jongin’s eyes widen when he sees Kyungsoo in his arms, her eyes bright and alarmed. Her lips are parted, her veil having been misplaced by the wind. Kyungsoo’s lips are painted pink and her cheeks are flushed. She looks beautiful. But beneath her beauty he can see the dark circles under her red glistening eyes.

“Follow me,” Jongin says quietly and he lets go of Kyungsoo gently. She doesn’t seem to mind but then again, he isn’t sure and he prays that he did not offend her. They pass the guest pavilion where Jongin sees her handmaidens waiting for them. Jongin leads them towards the gates and he takes in every part of the palace, of his life before this mission. Jongin is pleased to see the carriage already prepared for them as well as Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Jongdae waiting for them. Jongin joins them in their line and he gestures to each of them as he speaks.

“These will be the soldiers accompanying us on this mission. Park Chanyeol, Byun Baekhyun and Kim Jongdae. They are three of my most trusted soldiers, you will be in safe hands,” Jongin introduces each of them and Kyungsoo along with the other maidens bow deeply.

“We are in your hands. Consort Do Kyungsoo would like to share her thanks. I am Bae Joohyun, her head handmaiden and these are Kang Seulgi and Park Sooyoung,” Joohyun introduces them elegantly and Jongin hides his confusion over why Kyungsoo wasn’t speaking to them directly. Possibly it had to do with the customs of Zelithiel? He isn’t sure. Jongin bows in return as do Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Jongdae and they all begin to load their things into the carriage. Jongin is about to head into the stables when he’s stopped by a gentle hand on his arm. He looks over his shoulder and he sees Kyungsoo with Joohyun standing behind her in an almost frantic manner.

“My apologies General Kim, my Lady wishes to know your name,” Joohyun pulls Kyungsoo away from him and they both bow their heads. Jongin is a little weirded out by the sudden interest but it makes sense, considering he’d introduced the rest of the soldiers by their full names. 

“Do not worry. Kim Jongin is my name. Please make yourselves comfortable in the carriage, we will be departing soon,” Jongin says in a slightly clipped tone and the two do as they’re told. At least Jongin wouldn’t be interacting with Kyungsoo that much and soon she would be gone. His chest clenches at the thought but it was what fate had in store for them, and who was he to deny it? Jongin and Chanyeol get on their horses, riding beside the carriage while Jongdae and Baekhyun control the reigns. Jongin looks up at Jongup and Junhong, nodding his head before they step back and open the gates. Jongin exhales as the palace gates open and he sees the faint light of the sky meeting the horizon.

And so their mission began.


	2. The General & The Consort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING/SPOILERS:  
> There is a violent scene at the end of this chapter, minor character deaths  
> Throughout this story there are a lot of thoughts of gender roles and such, it is a reflection of the time period not what the authour thinks, please be mindful of this  
> Please proceed with caution

The sun begins to rise over the Kingdom of Feraveth enveloping everything it is in its warm embrace. Jongin welcomes the sun with a smile as the world begins to slowly wake around them. They’d travelled in mostly silence thus far, vowing to do so whenever the night fell as a precaution. It wasn’t until day broke that the small conversations began. It started with Baekhyun who was soon joined by Chanyeol followed by Jongdae who couldn’t keep his voice out of an interesting conversation. Jongin doesn’t say much but he listens to them as well as he can while also listening to the carriage and the Kingdom around them. Needless to say it wasn’t necessarily possible but the carriage was silent so Jongin assumed that they were still asleep. At least he hoped that they felt safe enough to sleep, though it was clear everyone was feeling a bit high on their own nerves and worries. Jongin could only hope that the journey would continue as such, they couldn’t afford to make too many stops.

Jongin hoped that they would not be a needy bunch, needing to stop constantly or needing food every hour. It would delay their travel and deplete their resources immensely and then they would need to stop in a town on the way there. Jongin had been on his fair share of missions with people like such and it truly made things more difficult. Jongin sighs and he keeps his back straight as they pass one farm and enter another. It was a long road to the river but it was one they needed to take. Jongin wasn’t unaware of where all of their food came from but it was always a wonder to see. After all, his own father had retired and became a farmer. The farmers woke early to make the most out of every day and they worked so hard to provide for the Palace and the town below. If Jongin could thank them personally he would but he couldn’t risk revealing his identity or getting off of his horse so he could only give them a bow as he passed, hoping that would be enough to convey his feelings.

The curtain of the window on the carriage begins to rustle and Jongin looks to his side with a pause, blinking when it’s ripped open. One of the maidens from earlier, one Jongin recognized to be… Seulgi stuck her face closer to the window and she smiled at him, bowing only to hit her head. Jongin returns the gesture and he urges his horse to go a little faster so that he is riding beside Baekhyun rather than the carriage. He didn’t want to block her view of the Northern Feraveth farms and he could feel her curious gaze on his back, it made him a little uncomfortable to be honest. Jongin can hear a lively conversation on the other side of the carriage and he isn’t surprised to see that Chanyeol is talking to one of the handmaidens clearly trying to charm her. Jongin notices that Baekhyun looks upset and tense, his knuckles white on the reigns of the horse. 

“Such a womanizer,” Baekhyun hisses under his breath. Jongin doesn’t understand why he was so mad. It wasn’t like Baekhyun didn’t have his fair share of admirers as well because he definitely did. There were few in the Palace that did not know of the friendly guard with a bright smile and many stories to tell. But when Jongin recalls, there were few times when he would see Baekhyun in the Palace without Chanyeol. The two were usually always together.

“He has always been social, you of all people should know this Baekhyun,” Jongin says and Baekhyun’s expression sours, his mouth pursing like he’d just tasted something foul. Baekhyun and Chanyeol had both entered the palace together, Jongin could still remember the day as if it were yesterday. The two had come into the palace with their hands clasped, dirt on their faces and determined grins. Jongin’s father, the former General, had found them utterly amusing and took them both personally under his own wing to be trained into the finest soldiers. Baekhyun and Chanyeol had been clear about their reasons to join the palace forces and that was to provide for their hometown, a very small and poor town that had little to nothing. It was a place Jongin hadn’t even heard of before but their determination was strong and their friendship stronger.

“Chanyeol may be social and he may be charming however he has always been and will always be selfish,” Baekhyun mumbles under his breath and Jongin doesn’t reply. He knows the two personally but he has not connected with them the same way he has with Sehun. If he recalls, he can see that whenever the two are entertaining a crowd it was with each other’s support. If Chanyeol was telling a story, Baekhyun would carry him through, if Baekhyun was telling a story then Chanyeol would aid in his reactions. However, once the story was done, Baekhyun would curl into himself and be still with a smile on his face while Chanyeol continued to engage in conversation. They were opposites in that aspect.

“When the mission is over he will remember his place, let him be,” Jongdae says nonchalantly as he steers the carriage clear of a hole in the road. Baekhyun grits his teeth and he turns to Jongdae,

“You only think so because you have someone waiting at home for you Jongdae. Chanyeol and I do not, we only have each other,” he says and Jongdae doesn’t reply. Jongin doesn’t feel the need to press on the matter since he doesn’t really know what Baekhyun was talking about. There was more to this conversation than Baekhyun was leading on, a different reason as to why he was upset. Jongin and Jongdae weren’t the ones to discuss those reasons with so Baekhyun simply takes a deep breath and he glares at Chanyeol once more. Jongdae holds his hand as a sign of comfort and Baekhyun sighs, finally relaxing and Jongin feels relief, knowing that this won’t hinder their mission. 

Jongin allows his eyes to wander from the road for a second, taking in the wondrous sight that was Feraveth during Autumn. Jongin had fond memories during Autumn, after all it was when their Kingdom prospered the most with harvest. There were a number of festivities that occured during this season in all parts of the Kingdom. Though Jongin did not have the pleasure of visiting every single festival held annually all around Feraveth he couldn’t deny that he was curious and he would like to see it all one day. In the Palace it was usually feasts and musical performances for the Royal family. In other parts of the Kingdom? Jongin wasn’t sure, he’d only ever heard stories from his fellow soldiers who left their homes to serve the Palace. The sun was blazing above them yet it was gentle, a warmth in the cold winds. He lifts his head and he looks down the long road between the farmlands, in the distance there are forests painted in hues of orange, red and yellow. 

With the progress they’re currently making Jongin estimates that they’ll arrive at Southern Feraveth in no less than seven eves. If they truly stayed on task then they could make it there sooner but taking into account the comfort of his men and their guests then ten eves would be enough. Jongin was well aware of how long it has been since any of his men have been outside of the Palace and he wishes to grant them an enjoyable mission while they were here. There was no sense of urgency when it came to completing the mission, only that it was completed and completed well. That much was guaranteed, Jongin does not see any potential disturbances in their way. Except for crossing the mountain pass.

“General, we are approaching the forest,” Baekhyun calls out and Jongin nods his head. 

“Once we enter the forest, keep left and stay along the river. We will follow it until we reach the mountain pass,” Jongin says and his men agree with him. The sunlight vanishes above them the moment they reach the arms of the trees and Jongin feels a little cold by the sudden change. He leans forward and runs his hand along the face of his horse to comfort the animal as they veer left towards the sound of running water. It meant straying from the path but Jongin would rather they stay out of the public eye if they could. The transition from the path to the grass is a little unsettling for the horses and carriage but as soon as they’re past the thicker trees and by the river it becomes easier. 

“General, it is nearing noon, might I suggest a break?” Chanyeol uses his height to an advantage as he peers over the top of the carriage and Jongin has no idea how he’s half standing and still keeping his horse under control. Chanyeol had always been courageous and confident in everything he did, which resulted in more than one fatal injury and multiple knocks to his head. 

“Yes let us rest for a moment. Jongdae please set up a small camp. Baekhyun please prepare a meal. I will take care of the horses. Chanyeol please help Jongdae,” Jongin orders and he follows Jongdae as they come to a stop near a large oak tree. Jongin gets off of his horse and he smiles at him, petting his snout. The animal keens to his touch and Jongin grins, feeling at ease just from a simple interaction. 

“We will inform you when the meal is ready. You ladies do not have to lift a finger, do not worry,” Jongin hears Chanyeol say and he resists the urge to roll his eyes. Jongin detaches the two horses pulling the carriage and he grabs the reins of Chanyeol’s horse as well before he leads them all to the river. They all bend down as they have their drink of water and Jongin can’t hold back his grin as he pats each and every one of them till they’re satisfied. He’d always been a lover of animals and horses were one that he spent most of his days with. They were magnificent animals that they relied on greatly and Jongin was thankful for that. Jongin squats down and he washes his hands thoroughly before he makes his way back to the carriage. He has no worry about the horses wandering off, for they were trained strictly since the moment they were born. Each horse has grown with a soldier and their loyalty was unmatched. 

When Jongin returns to the carriage he sees that there was already a camp set up. Baekhyun was sitting by a fire with a pot sitting on top of it, his face blank as he ripped up dried vegetables and meats. He tosses them into the pot without thinking twice. Baekhyun was the only one of them who was truly trained in preparing meals during a voyage and he was the only one Jongin trusted to make sure their resources were used accordingly and in a way that would keep them full until dinner or later. 

“I would like to make as few stops as possible so please eat your fill and relieve yourselves during each meal. We will have water to drink and dried fruits and nuts to eat while on the road but we do not have a luxurious amount,” Jongin announces to them all and no one has any complaints. Jongin looks around and sees all of Kyungsoo’s handmaidens sitting around on the mats placed down for them. But Kyungsoo is nowhere to be seen. He curses at himself for not making the announcement when they were all present. Jongin squats down next to who he remembers is Sooyoung and she looks at him in surprise.

“Where is Consort Do?” Jongin asks and she swallows the water in her mouth before she replies.

“Consort Do is currently sleeping. Only head handmaiden Bae is allowed to wake her,” Sooyoung explains and Jongin nods at her response before he stands again. Jongin doesn’t see Joohyun anywhere and he swears that he saw her sitting with the others only a few moments earlier. Jongin’s steps are purposely loud as he comes closer to the carriage since he wanted them to be aware of his approach and he clears his throat. 

“Consort Do and Handmaiden Bae, we will not be stopping frequently and I suggest you take advantage when we do. This is an opportunity to stretch your legs and get some fresh air. Our meal will be served soon, please join us,” Jongin says. He doesn’t receive a reply but he doesn’t wish to repeat himself. A part of him wants to open the curtains but he knows that it was an extreme breach of privacy and so he scolds himself for even thinking so. As he leaves however his eyes catch a glimpse of Kyungsoo’s sleeping face in the slit in the curtain. When Jongin returns to the group with a flutter in his chest he can hear Chanyeol telling stories of his many adventures. Baekhyun seems a little quiet and he hands Jongin a hearty bowl as soon as he sits. Chanyeol had always been an amazing storyteller but he rarely got the chance because Baekhyun excelled. As Jongin takes a sip of the stew, Baekhyun hands him a fresh rice roll.

“These were packed this morning and they will not last till evening. There is one for everyone,” Baekhyun explains with a smile and Jongin accepts it with thanks. It would be some time until he could enjoy fresh food like this and so he savoured the taste. As Chanyeol is about to begin another story they all grow silent when Kyungsoo and Joohyun finally join. Kyungsoo’s eyes seem tired and unfocused as she sits beside Seulgi and Joohyun and Baekhyun hands them both a bowl and a roll. 

“Hello Consort Do,” Baekhyun and Chanyeol both chirp at her and she gives them a bow. Jongin gives her one before she can bow at him and he notices something in her eyes when he does. The handmaidens immediately begin to fuss over her, asking if she needs water or anything else but she seems pleased with what she has. Jongin didn’t know much about Kyungsoo, but he wondered if she came from a noble family, whether or not she was a high class woman who’d unfortunately caught the eye of Lord Oh. Kyungsoo’s movements are restricted and slow as she eats, as though it was difficult for her to swallow. 

“Have you been enjoying your time in Feraveth? Does it differ a lot from Zelithiel?” Chanyeol asks and Kyungsoo acknowledges the question but makes no movement to answer. Joohyun’s expression grows gentle and she answers in Kyungsoo’s stead. 

“Zelithiel is much colder and is often covered in snow. There is a lot of greenery here in Feraveth and the changing colours during this season are beautiful. We were admiring it in the carriage,” Joohyun clasps her hand together respectfully before she continues her meal. Kyungsoo continues as well, never removing her veil as she eats slowly. In his peripheral vision he can see that Jongdae is about to comment on it and he stops him with a sharp glance. The customs of Zelithiel were unknown to them. The meal continues in a slightly awkward manner until Chanyeol begins another story and this time he drags Baekhyun into it since it was from their childhood.

“I remember there being a small river where everyone would wash their clothes and one day when Baekhyun and I were feeding the pigs we got a little out of hand. He chased me with a tub of fruit peels and he slipped when we reached the river, dumping the whole tub inside! The elders got so mad at us and we had to scoop out every piece,” Chanyeol sighs and Baekhyun immediately erupts.

“I only fell in because _you_ pushed me!” Baekhyun accuses and Chanyeol places a hand on his chest in feign hurt,

“ _Push you_? Byun Baekhyun I would never! You slipped in mud,” Chanyeol explains and Baekhyun rolls his eyes,

“I only slipped because you and your long legs jumped over it and I failed to follow!” Baekhyun huffs and the group breaks out into laughter. Jongin can imagine them two, having been their friends for many years now. They really haven’t changed since childhood he thinks and if he knew them back then he wonders how fond his childhood memories would be. Jongin’s childhood memories were all within the palace and both Jongin and Sehun would argue that the palace was not a suitable place for a child to grow.

“It is time to get packed up,” Jongin says as he stands up and he helps Jongdae stand as well. The atmosphere between them all has lightened thanks to Chanyeol and Baekhyun but Jongin noticed that Kyungsoo hadn’t said a single word during the meal. She seemed completely consumed by her thoughts and there was a wall around her that seemed unbreakable. Not that it was Jongin’s duty to break it. Baekhyun cleans the bowls and packs up the ingredients and leftovers while Jongdae goes to tend to the horses. Chanyeol is busy rolling up the mats and Jongin can see that Kyungsoo is doing the same, preparing to carry some of the baskets to the carriage.

“Do not worry Consort Do, we can take it from here. This is a black sugar taffy made by the kitchen staff. I believe it will keep your appetite at bay until our next meal. Please eat more next time, you need your strength during this journey,” Jongin says as he hands her a small bundle. There was a whole basket full but Jongin snatched a few earlier for Kyungsoo’s sake. Despite him being a man of duty he can tell that there was a lot on her mind but he couldn’t have her weak. That was too much risk for the rest of them. Kyungsoo receives the bundle with two hands and she looks directly into his eyes.

“Thank you,” her voice is but a whisper but it catches Jongin off guard having never heard her speak before. Kyungsoo’s eyes are honest and there’s a brightness in them that Jongin hadn’t seen earlier.

“It is a part of my mission to ensure that your comfort and safety are a priority. If there is anything I can do to accomodate, I will do it. As long as it does not go against the Crown,” Jongin says and Kyungsoo lingers for a second. Jongin waits for her to say something, anything, but she doesn’t. Only giving him a deep bow before she scurries into the carriage. 

As the night falls and their journey continues Jongin notices that Kyungsoo peers out the window with her veil removed from her face. He keeps his head facing forward to grant her privacy but he is completely unaware of how she gazes at him.

The forest at night was one of Jongin’s least favourite places. There was unease laced in those endless trees and hidden skies. They travelled without any torches or lanterns and if not for the moonlight above the river, they wouldn’t be able to see at all. Jongin tries to keep his eyes on the pathway before them though he keeps his ears open towards his right. Jongin despised the helpless feeling the forest gave him and the endless pit of black where the moonlight did not reach was beginning to wear on his thoughts. He took a deep breath and he glanced at Chanyeol who had switched places with Baekhyun, his eyes closed and his lips pouting as he leaned on Jongdae’s shoulder. How the two managed to switch places without stopping the carriage Jongin didn’t know, they were always taking risks. 

Jongin looks over at the carriage and he notices the curtain moving when he does. He doesn’t think much of it however and turns his head back to the front, wishing for the night to end. 

By the second afternoon, they were all accustomed to how things would be until they arrived at the Southern palace. When the sun set they would travel in silence, speaking in whispers or not at all but when the sun rose they would be allowed to jest with one another again. As Jongin leans forward to pet his horse’s snout he looks around the forest and he can’t really remember the last time he’d been to the Southern palace. So far things had been quite familiar, with the exception of more farms stretched out on what Jongin recalled to be simply empty lots. The forest was the same, the trees were still plentiful and thick, tall as they covered them in their shades. Jongin stretches on his horse and he glances at the carriage seeing how the curtains were drawn again. It gives him ease to be honest, there was a strange feeling in his chest whenever he looked at Kyungsoo. It was probably guilt, he wouldn’t lie to himself about that.

“General, what is Southern Feraveth like? What of the palace there?” Baekhyun asks as the sun rises and Jongin purses his lips. Baekhyun was now on Chanyeol’s horse since Chanyeol was still sleeping beside Jongdae on the carriage. They would take turns sleeping under their General’s command and Jongin was making sure they all received an ample amount. Today he doesn’t plan to stop until evening, hoping that yesterday's meal will keep them all full. If they need to stop when the sun sets then so be it but since the Winter Solstice was nearing their hours of sunlight were decreasing gradually. Jongdae wakes Chanyeol so that Jongin doesn’t have to repeat himself and he sighs. It was no secret that Jongin was close to Sehun and as the previous General’s son he accompanied him to the Southern palace many times.

“Southern Feraveth isn’t like the North. It is… poor. Lord Oh has many needs and he uses the peoples’ taxes for those needs. The palace is grand and filled with wealth but the towns and farms are poor,” Jongin answers honestly but hesitantly. He will not speak against his Kingdom but he won’t hide the truth about their other half. 

“We are to escort the Consort safely and in a timely manner. No matter what we hear and what our judgement tells us, we are not to do anything. It will not reflect positively on the North,” Jongin says quietly and his men know exactly what he means. They keep their eyes down but they nod their heads in understanding. Jongin can only hope that he wasn’t heard inside of the carriage, he did not want them to think that they were part of this in any other way. His grip tightens on his reins and he looks at Jongdae.

“Jongdae, get some sleep. Chanyeol, switch with Baekhyun,” Jongin orders and they do so swiftly. The forest is quiet though the sound of the river is loud beside them and Baekhyun sings softly to ease the silence. His voice is soft and it gives Jongin the warmth he needed. 

They continue along the river as the sky begins to burn orange above them and Jongin is awe struck at the beams of sunlight peeking through the trees. In the distance Jongin can hear the faint sound of horns and flutes and he frowns. Was there a town near here? The sound may be faint but it wakes Baekhyun who’d only slept for a few moments after switching with Jongdae. He sits up with wide eyes and Jongin already knows what’s going to happen but he isn’t quite prepared when the curtain of the carriage rips open. Jongin’s looks at Seulgi and Sooyoung who are both sticking their faces against the edges of the window to hear better and they look at him.

“General, what is that sound? Is there a festival?” Sooyoung asks him and Jongin doesn’t have a chance to reply because Seulgi is interrupting him.

“May we please go see the festival General? We will not be long! We simply want to see a festival in Feraveth,” Seulgi practically begs and Jongin doesn’t answer right away. However, when he looks over to Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s sparkling eyes he knows that he’s fighting an uphill battle. The carriage comes to a halt at his command and they pause in front of a stream that seems to lead to the town beyond the trees. It connects to the river. Jongin gets off of his horse and so does Chanyeol and Baekhyun, while Jongdae takes the time to hydrate the horses. The stopped carriage causes the handmaidens to open the door and begin to pour out one by one and Jongin inwardly groans. 

“Consort Do cannot leave the carriage, it is not safe,” Jongin says to his soldiers.

“I will stay with the Lady, please do not worry General,” Joohyun says to him, she hadn’t stepped outside but she was sticking her head out from the carriage, it was a little comical. Jongin looks at Chanyeol and Baekhyun seeing their blooming smiles and anticipation rising. 

“Not more for _an hour or two_ at most. I expect you all back by then, do not leave their sides. Handmaiden Bae, you may go with them. I will stay with Consort Do,” the surprise on all of their faces is evident but Jongin stands firm. If they were going to be in a crowd he would feel more at ease if there were more guards. Though he would rather have another person here with him, protecting two people would be difficult for him, not that he wasn’t capable of doing so. Jongin ties up the horses to a nearby tree near the river and he tells the group to hurry when he sees them standing around for some reason. Jongin watches their silhouettes disappear and he stretches before he sits in front of the carriage by the river. His body is slanted so that he can see behind him and he keeps his sheathed sword in front of him. There was only a moment or so of silence before the carriage door was pushed open and Jongin didn't turn to look at Kyungsoo emerging from within.

“Please stay close to me Consort Do,” Jongin orders and she approaches him carefully. Jongin can see that there’s no veil on her face and he doesn’t stare, even if a part of him really wants to. Kyungsoo takes a seat on the forest floor near him, close enough for him to smell her scent but far enough that the tips of her robes brushed his knee. The sound of the festival interrupted the silence between them and Jongin felt a little suffocated. Suffocated by this want inside of him, this deep yearning to know who Kyungsoo was and how she’d ended up here. But he bites his lip and throws those thoughts away, no General should be thinking so. Kyungsoo leans forward to look at him and Jongin meets her bright gaze. He’d expected her to look tired and though that was true, she still glowed like the night he’d first met her.

“You need to sleep General,” Kyungsoo whispers to him and Jongin frowns at the blatant order coming from her. There was absolutely no way she would think that he would obey her word and leave her unguarded when they were so close to people. 

“You have no right to declare orders,” Jongin says simply without looking at her and Kyungsoo frowns at him. Jongin is surprised to see such a change of expression on her face.

“You did not sleep when the others did. It is your turn to sleep now,” Kyungsoo insists and Jongin’s eyes widen. She’d been paying attention during those times? It was clear that Kyungsoo was aware that he’d given each of his soldiers a chance to sleep excluding himself. Jongin could function without as much sleep as others, a few more hours on the road wouldn’t hurt anybody. Kyungsoo senses that he is about to protest because her eyes narrow and she sits up straight,

“How will you protect me if you are lacking sleep? What if there is an emergency and you cannot swing your sword straight?” Kyungsoo’s voice raises a little but she still keeps her tone a whisper. Jongin presses his lips together as he stares at her but Kyungsoo doesn’t look like she’ll be backing down anytime soon. He sighs and closes his eyes, opting to feign sleep while still keeping his mind aware. Kyungsoo’s voice was much deeper than he thought it would be, he could tell from the heavy timbre of her whisper. It didn’t seem out of place though, Jongin could not imagine her with a delicate voice. Kyungsoo was anything but delicate, she seemed guarded and… regretful. 

“That cannot be comfortable,” Kyungsoo stresses to him and Jongin is not liking how she continues to question him. Jongin can hear the rustle of her robes on the forest floor and he worries about the grass and dirt staining the fabric. Lord Oh probably wouldn’t be too happy about that. Kyungsoo shifts closer to him and Jongin swears he can feel her breath on his skin as she looks up at him, observing his expressions. He holds back a sigh and exhales.

“I am following your orders, Consort Do. I will rest if that is what you wish,” Jongin tries to hold back his tone but maybe it came off a little too honestly. Perhaps the lack of sleep was really beginning to affect him. He would have to sleep soon after they started on the road again. To his surprise Kyungsoo gives no snappy remark and the silence is well welcomed. Jongin’s expression begins to relax and he can feel his consciousness drifting for a second before he brings himself back. In the dark of his eyelids he can see a faint light and he opens them swiftly to reveal a paper lantern floating down the river. It seemed to be the first of many because Jongin can see much more drifting down the stream into the river. They were multiple shapes and sizes but they all held a glow inside of them. 

“May I take a closer look?” Kyungsoo asks him excitedly and Jongin doesn’t deny her, nodding at her question. Kyungsoo immediately pushes herself off of the ground and she brushes off her pink robes roughly before getting closer to the river. Jongin stands as well and he crouches down beside her as she stares at the lanterns in wonder. Her expression is curious like that of a child, Jongin wonders how old she is.

“I wish to be big. I wish for more harvest. I wish for mom and dad to be happy. I wish for a better life,” Kyungsoo begins to read the wishes written on the lanterns and Jongin points back at a few of them.

“That character means tall, not big. And rather than happy, proud fits better. They wish for mom and dad to be proud,” Jongin corrects the differences in their dialect and Kyungsoo nods and she looks over to him with a smile. Jongin is taken aback by her gentle face and he swallows hard as she turns back towards the lanterns. The warm lights bounce off of her face while the moonlight shines above, her hair appearing almost blue despite being midnight black. Even with days of travel and darkened skin underneath her eyes due to lack of sleep, she looks as if she’s gleaming, her lips were plump and soft and her cheeks round. 

“There is a similar festival in the town where I am from. However we do not send lanterns, but dried leaves instead. The rivers in Zelithiel are cold but ever flowing, they carry our wishes down south to the warmer kingdoms,” Kyungsoo explains. 

“My mother used to send two wishes every time. Even though we had told her that it would not work and that being greedy would not amount to anything. She would laugh and tell us that one wish was hers, while another was for me. She did not care which would be granted but knowing that each was sent put her heart at ease,” Kyungsoo’s voice raises above a whisper and Jongin doesn’t expect such a deep and smooth voice. Kyungsoo turns to him suddenly and he watches her lips purse as she readies a question.

“Do you have a wish, General?” Kyungsoo asks and Jongin shakes his head. He was never able to think of wishes and such. There had been a time where he wished that he knew his real parents and he wished to know why his mother left him at the palace. However, the previous General was his father and he felt sorry for wanting more when such an incredible man had taken him in as his own. Jongin gently touches the pin from his mother kept hidden underneath a fold in his shirt.

“I do not truly believe in the power of wishes. I believe in making choices to achieve what you want,” Jongin answers and Kyungsoo’s bright eyes dwindle before her expression goes lax. She seems a little disappointed by his answer.

“Not all of us have the luxury of making our own choices General Kim,” the tone that Kyungsoo uses and the way she does not look at him, makes it clear that she doesn’t want a reply to her statement. Jongin looks down at the river, watching as the lanterns continue to float by. Jongin didn’t know of her past and why she was here but she was clearly aware of who Lord Oh was. Perhaps it was an ill fated encounter? Jongin wasn’t sure but he feels his chest clench from being so insensitive to someone who was probably not on her way to be a Consort by choice.

“Would you like to know what my wish is?” Kyungsoo asks after a beat of silence since Jongin didn’t bother asking. He decides to humour her by giving her his attention and to make up for his previous behaviour. Kyungsoo reaches out and though her arms aren’t very long she manages to grab a nearby lantern floating past them. She closes her eyes as she holds it close and mumbles something into the paper. Jongin feels mesmerized at the soft light illuminating her features and she looks so peaceful. Her lips curl up into an almost mischievous grin and Jongin can’t take his eyes off of her.

“You stole someone's chance at a wish,” Jongin says and Kyungsoo’s eyes open before they crinkle again as she laughs. She tucks the back of her neck as she tilts her head up and her shoulders lift. Her eyes crinkle unevenly and her lips stretch into a wide grin. 

“Shh, please do not tell. I wish to be selfish for once,” Kyungsoo’s grin slowly fades as she sends the lantern down the river along with the others. The sight of her smile however won’t leave Jongin’s mind and he swallows hard. Kyungsoo smooths a stray strand of hair behind her ear and she smiles at him before she stands up. Jongin can see the others returning and Kyungsoo pauses for a moment. They’re in the distance but close enough that Jongin gives Kyungsoo one last look. She’s already walked past him however and she gives him a deep bow before she enters the safety of the carriage. Jongin takes a deep breath and he walks closer to the group, checking to make sure everyone has returned safely before he orders Jongdae to get the horses ready for them to continue their journey.

“General, was Consort Do without her veil?” Baekhyun asks quietly and Jongin blinks at the question. Honestly, he’d wondered whether or not it was normal for him to have seen Kyungsoo’s face as many times as he had. She wasn’t necessarily showing him her face but there had been a number of occasions where he’d caught her off guard without it. Perhaps it was all a coincidence? But this time, there was no way Kyungsoo wasn’t aware that she stepped outside of the carriage without her veil. Jongin wanted to think more, to ask these questions in his mind but he was a General, she was a Consort. There wasn’t anything to think about. Jongin gruffly nods his head.

“I am so curious about how she looks. I wonder why she showed her face to you,” Baekhyun asks the air nonchalantly since he wasn’t necessarily looking for an answer from the General. Jongin shakes his head and dismisses the strange encounter to the back of his mind.

“Pack up quickly, we must make up for lost time,” Jongin announces and his soldiers begin working twice as fast. They didn’t unpack or anything like that it was more getting the horses in order and securing the carriage. Jongin greets his horse with a pat on her snout and he grips her saddle, ready to hoist himself on. His grip doesn’t feel tight enough and he grits his teeth as he pulls himself up, his head feeling light. Jongin clears his throat and he waits for a cue from the rest of his soldiers before he continues leading them. The forest is quiet, eerily so and Jongin can hear Chanyeol and Baekhyun talking about the festivities. They were speaking with whispers so Jongin didn’t scold them and he could feel his body getting heavier. 

They reached the edge of the forest the moment that day broke and Jongin was relieved to be under the sun again. The heat and light would keep him awake for sure. His soldiers had yet to realize that he had not slept yet but Jongin was thankful for that. It meant that they were relying on him right? Jongin would need to sleep soon though or else his carelessness would cause them all trouble. Usually Jongin would rest on his horse with no problems, but he had too many thoughts on his mind. All that couldn’t be put at ease with sleep. All that runs through his head are thoughts of Kyungsoo and of this mission, what it meant for them all. Jongin looks out to the distance and he’s pleased to see the mountains in his view. They were still quite a ways away however, once they reached the mountain pass they could cross the lake and enter the Southern part of the Kingdom. Jongin feels his eyes threatening to close and his head falls forward as he begins to doze off. He shakes his head to keep himself awake but the fatigue on his body is too much and he can’t keep himself upright on his horse.

“Stop the carriage!” Jongin jolts awake when the carriage abruptly comes to a halt and the horses voice their displeasure. The strong grip on his arm and the loudness of Kyungsoo’s voice causes him to look to the carriage and he sees Kyungsoo’s upper body sticking out of the carriage window, anger clear on her face as she holds onto Jongin with all of her strength. What Kyungsoo does next absolutely shocks him because the last thing he’d expected is for the Consort to squeeze herself out through the carriage window. Jongin’s brain isn’t processing enough for him to move and so he just watches as she jumps the height and lands on the ground. Her eyes are burning with rage directed at Jongin and her veil is askew on her face.

“Set up camp immediately,” Kyungsoo orders and her voice is hard to hear after so long. Jongin can’t place what she sounds like. He already knew her voice was deep but he’d never heard her use it like this before, it was such a rich voice. Jongin looks at his soldiers who are very understandably hesitating at her sudden orders but Kyungsoo doesn’t bother looking at them. She won’t look away from him. Her grip on his arms is tight and Jongin can see that she shifts her weight on each of her feet, no doubt her reckless behaviour probably injured her somehow.

“Set up camp. We will stop for a midday meal,” Jongin relents and he barely has a chance to get off of his horse because Kyungsoo is already dragging him off. She won’t let go of his arm and she leads him and his horse over to where they will set up camp. Once the carriage has come to an official stop Jongin wants to help the others set up but Baekhyun stops him.

“Do not worry General, get some sleep. Everything will be fine,” Baekhyun reassures him with a nervous glance to Kyungsoo and Jongin sighs. He gently pulls away from her hold and he grabs a bag of herbal tonics and ointments. Kyungsoo follows after him, hovering like he was going to collapse if she took her eyes off of him. Jongin sighs and he makes his way over to a large tree not too far from the camp. Kyungsoo hobbles after him the pain visible on her face as she avoids putting too much pressure on her right foot. Kyungsoo takes a seat beside him and he looks over to her before he hands her a bottle of ointment. It was unlabelled because it was made by the apothecary in the palace but Jongin recognized the orange colour. Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow at him.

“In your haste you hurt your ankle. You did not have to do that Consort Do, I would not have fallen,” Jongin frowns when Kyungsoo lifts her robe slightly, revealing the red patch near her ankle. Kyungsoo’s brows are furrowed and she applies some of the ointment with a heavy exhale.

“I believe it is customary to express gratitude when assisted is it not?” Kyungsoo huffs and she takes some ointment on her hand as well. She turns away and reaches into her robe from the top, Jongin flusters and looks away. She must’ve injured her waist when she reached for him.

“Thank you Consort Do, you may return to the camp now,” Jongin didn’t mean to sound rude but she didn’t seem all too pleased with his answer. He sighs and looks up at the large tree they were borrowing shade from. The branches above were long and suddenly Jongin felt so small underneath a tree so vast. He closes his eyes and a yawn escapes from him, deciding not to fight it any longer he lies down. Honestly speaking, it’s difficult to just fall asleep even though his mind and body are exhausted. Jongin can hear Kyungsoo shuffling beside him and he wonders if she’ll stand up and leave. Her fresh scent carries in the wind and it surrounds him in a way he can’t explain. He tenses up when he feels her shifting closer to him.

“General, lay your head in my lap. It will be more comfortable that way,” Kyungsoo’s request is so ridiculous that Jongin opens his eyes wide in a panic. Kyungsoo is looking down at him with a serious look on her face. Jongin makes a move to sit up and she gently holds him down with a firm hand to his shoulder.

“I cannot do that Consort. It is forbidden, I could not possibly-” his string of refusal is broken when Kyungsoo frowns at him, placing a finger on his mouth to keep him silent. 

“Please General, allow me to do this one thing for you,” Kyungsoo stresses and Jongin doesn’t have the energy to argue with her. Knowing that she’s won him over, she relaxes and leans against the tree. Her eyes never parted from his. Kyungsoo gently holds his head and he clears his throat as he sits up, he’s very hesitant to come any closer and so Kyungsoo shifts so that her thighs are underneath him before she lets him rest his head. Jongin looks up at her and he can see a gentle smile hiding underneath her veil that blew softly in the wind. He immediately closes his eyes and he unconsciously nestles into the plush of her lap before he remembers his place.

“Do not fret General, I will wake you,” Kyungsoo says with what sounded like a smile on her face. Jongin frowns and the furrow between his brows keeps him from relaxing. He jumps slightly when soft fingertips touch his skin and he clears his throat once more.

“Wake me within half the hour, I need no more rest than that,” Jongin orders and Kyungsoo scoffs. 

“I will wake you in an hour and a half, sleep General. Please,” Kyungsoo whispers and Jongin’s body slowly loosens up as he’s lost in his fatigue. Kyungsoo is all around him, she is all he can feel, all he can touch and if his eyes opened, all he could see. He feels his consciousness drifting and he opts to do as he is told. There was no arguing with Kyungsoo. 

  
  
  


When Jongin opens his eyes he sees the branches of the trees above him. The branches have been stripped bare of their leaves for the upcoming season and he takes a deep breath as he looks up at the clear autumn sky. It was gorgeous. It’d been quite some time since he actually took a nap outside like this, of course that wasn’t something he was allowed to do as a General. Jongin lifts his head and he sits up. When he looks over his shoulder he can see Kyungsoo’s peaceful form resting against the base of the tree. Her body is completely relaxed as she sleeps and Jongin can’t help but smile at her. The expression comes naturally and he exhales as he looks at her, she truly was beautiful. And he was coming to know that her personality had more to it than just a pretty face. Jongin’s eyes widen and he shakes his thoughts away, cursing at his mind for being so weak. Jongin looks over to the camp and he can see his soldiers and Kyungsoo’s handmaidens sitting around and talking to one another. He prepares to wake Kyungsoo but is stopped when he sees Joohyun’s frantic eyes. 

Jongin watches Joohyun cautiously as her arms slowly make a cradling motion and she points to Kyungsoo. Jongin begins to shake his head and Joohyun gives him a pleading motion, her hands pressed together. With little to no choice Jongin looks back to Kyungsoo and he groans. Her neck is bent at an odd angle and no doubt she was probably going to be sore when she woke, the least he could do is carry her back to the carriage. Jongin assumed that Kyungsoo hadn’t gotten much sleep either since she was probably watching him. What an unnecessary thing to do he thought, he was a General. Jongin sighs and he stands up first, stretching out his arms and legs, since he didn’t want to accidentally drop her. Jongin stands there and he looks at her for a moment, considering his options. Whenever he needed to carry one of his men he usually did so by throwing them over his shoulder, it was more practical but he guessed that that wasn’t any way to treat a Consort. Jongin is about ready to just have Joohyun wake Kyungsoo but when he turns around she’s giving him a hard look.

Jongin wasn’t very used to women being so assertive and demanding. It happened occasionally but it must be something more accustomed to Zelithiel, because he a General would not be so easily ordered around like this. Jongin empties the thoughts from his head and he prepares to carry Kyungsoo. He secures one arm underneath her legs and the other wraps around her back, with a countdown in his head he stands up with Kyungsoo in his arms. She’s by no means heavy but she is much heavier than what he’d expected her to be and Jongin wasn’t a weak man. While ignoring the very obvious gaping stares from the soldiers and handmaidens Jongin carries Kyungsoo to the carriage where Joohyun is holding open the door for him. Carefully, Jongin attempts to place her inside but she doesn’t curl to him, instead her body remains limp and her arms and legs are a little spread out. Her brows are furrowed as Joohyun tries to bend her limbs in to fit the carriage door. At that moment Kyungsoo opens her eyes.

“Consort Do, did you sleep well? We will begin packing the carriage soon, you will have your meal while we pass the mountain roads. We did not wish to wake you,” Joohyun fills her in but Kyungsoo doesn’t seem to be listening because her eyes have not left Jongin since she woke. Her wide eyes are darting side to side, from his face to his chest, to his arms holding her. Kyungsoo takes a deep breath and Jongin steps back before he sets her down carefully, her hand rests on his chest and he tenses up.

“Have you enough rest? Are you well?” Kyungsoo asks and she doesn’t speak in a whisper but it’s not quite as loud as her regular speaking voice either. Her eyes won’t leave his and Jongin swallows hard, wondering if her hand could feel his beating heart. 

“I am well Consort Do, thank you,” Jongin says with a nod of his head and he steps away from her. Kyungsoo hesitates before she goes back into the carriage and Jongin approaches his men, bowing at the handmaidens that scatter back to the carriage as well. Baekhyun hands him a bundle of something and he gives him a tight lipped smile.

“Here General, finish this off before we depart. We will not be able to stop while passing through the mountains. Jongdae has already given Consort Do her meal,” Baekhyun says and Jongin nods his head, opening the bundle to find roasted potatoes. He eagerly eats them, feeling hungry from his rest and he doesn’t care much that they’re cold. It was a hearty meal and all that he needed. Once Jongin is done, he shoves the handkerchief in his pocket and he mounts his horse. Jongin looks at his men and he looks out past the field of gravel and stone.

“Stay alert men, not a word is to be said,” Jongin orders. Chanyeol and Baekhyun are now on the same horse and Jongdae remains alone on the carriage since he was the most adequate at controlling the horses. Jongin takes the lead and quietly they begin to cross the field. The mountains felt more daunting as they drew closer and closer, Jongin always detested them. They made him feel so small and he never felt safe when crossing them. There had yet to be an accident when he himself had crossed but he would never take the risk. They pause in front of the mouth of the mountain path and Jongin looks at his men before he and his horse enter first. She is already stressed beneath him and he rests a hand on her neck, hoping to ease her with his touch. The mountains stretched high above them in all directions and below them the heavy sound of rushing water could be heard. The sky was barely visible and the smell of earth was strong. 

The mountain path was narrow, just enough to fit one carriage and approximately two horses side by side though no one would dare take the risk. There was no way around it and it was their only way into the Southern Kingdom of Feraveth. Jongin turned around to check on Jongdae whose hands were white from gripping the reins so tightly, he had only a foot on each side of the carriage. Jongin could not see Chanyeol and Baekhyun but he prayed that they were keeping steady back behind the carriage. One of the reasons why Jongin could never find rest on the mountain pass was because of the way it had been structured. There was a single pathway stretching through the vast rock but all around, there were so many spots he could not see, so many places anyone could be hiding. Jongin held his breath and he kept his head straight, but his eyes were restlessly darting back and forth. 

He dared not look down beside him, he dared not access what could occur if they fell. His horse would not survive, the carriage would not survive and the chances of the others surviving without hitting the rocks would be sparse. Jongin held his breath as they proceeded. The path wasn’t very long but it would warrant a few hours considering the pace they had to keep. The air felt thin though they weren’t very high up and Jongin kept his hands from shaking by patting his horse. He could only pray that there would not be another carriage until they had already passed, this path wasn’t frequented much anyhow. Since people rarely travelled between the two ends of the Kingdom. 

“What business do you nobles have in Southern Feraveth?” Jongin immediately looks up at the unfamiliar voice bellowing at them. In the near distance standing on one of the cliff tops he can see a man. He is standing tall with one hand on his bow and the other reaching back for an arrow. Jongin holds out his hands in a defensive manner, trying to show that they were not a threat.

“We are not nobles, merely travellers passing through,” Jongin answers and he quickly glances at his surroundings to see if any other men were hiding in the shadows. Unfortunately he couldn’t afford to take his eyes off of the man speaking with him. He seems displeased with Jongin’s lie, not that he would know that. They were all dressed in commoner’s clothing aside from Kyungsoo and her handmaidens. The carriage itself was a common carriage, certainly not one fit for the royal family. Jongin couldn’t understand why they were thought of as nobles. Chanyeol had his back to the man on the cliff, his eyes looking past Jongin. He had Jongin’s back surveyed while he trusted Jongin to watch his own.

“Ha! Travellers do not pass through to Southern Feraveth. You are coming from the North, come to mock us and our poverty?” the man sneers and Jongin grits his teeth.

“We simply want to pass through,” he emphasizes and wonders if this was why people rarely travelled the Kingdom. This was a perfect place to attack unsuspecting travellers. 

“Pass through you will! After you give us what we need!” And before Jongin can react the stranger lifts his bow and another unseen individual lights the arrow head on fire, without hesitating he shoots into the roof of the carriage, fire spreading like wildfire as soon as it catches the wood. 

“An ambush! Evacuate the carriage!” Jongin yells but there isn’t much they can do as arrows begin to rain down on them. Jongin looks around frantically, seeing an uncountable number of men, they were bandits, no doubt. Jongin can hear the screams of men in the distance and he’s already aware of how Baekhyun was a master at archery. Jongin gets off of his horse and he grabs his own bow, not hesitating to load before he takes aim and fires, a limp body falling off of the cliff. Jongin hears a blood curdling scream and when he looks back to the carriage he sees Sooyoung screaming at the top of her lungs, flames embracing her body, she climbs out of the window and falls. Jongin doesn’t have time to react to how her screams stop and he can’t feel the weight of that right now. 

“Everyone out of the carriage!” He yells desperately and runs back to the carriage. Jongin falls when an arrow lodges itself into his arm and he curses, trying to get to Jongdae who was helping the others out. Once the carriage is empty, Jongin makes a move to push the carriage off of the path. It was not something they could use for cover, not while on fire. It takes a strong kick from him before the carriage topples over the side of the path and Jongin immediately ducks the arrows coming his way.

“Jongdae, take them and get out of here. Chanyeol get this message to the Crowned Prince, immediately! Bandits, an ambush! Bring them to safety, everyone, now!” Jongin orders and they try to get the handmaidens on the horses safely but Jongdae’s sleeve catches fire from another arrow and Seulgi is hit with an arrow to the chest. Jongdae drops to the ground and attempts to put out the fire but it makes him an open target that the bandits do not hesitate to shoot.

Seulgi falls to the ground, clutching the arrow in her chest in shock and she gives Jongin one last desperate look in her eyes before she falls to the ground, lifeless. Joohyun is the only one to squeeze onto Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s horse and Kyungsoo is looking at him. That horse couldn’t carry more than three people and she looked as though she wasn’t going to leave without him. Jongin runs to her to secure her on his own horse but another arrow hits him in the shoulder and he can’t stop himself from teetering on the edge. Kyungsoo rushes to grab his hand but she can’t support his weight, causing them both to fall from the mountain path.

Jongin can feel the air surrounding him, deafening in his ears as he tries to get a grasp of what was going on. Everything was happening too fast. Where was Kyungsoo? Jongin opens his eyes and he sees Kyungsoo’s terrified expression, her eyes are wide and her teeth are gritted tight as she reaches for him. Jongin tries to reach for her as well but he can’t, the arrows render the left side of his body useless and he gasps when Kyungsoo grabs hold of his hand and her arms wrap around him. She turns their bodies so that she’s beneath him and they hit the water. The weight of the water separates them immediately and Jongin can see Kyungsoo’s long robes flowing around them. Her eyes are closed and she sinks further as she’s rendered unconscious. 

Jongin pushes himself forward to save her before she’s sunken too far and he uses all of his strength to pull them up to the surface. With Kyungsoo’s body beneath his right arm he helplessly kicks his feet to bring them closer to the shore and he apologizes before he removes her outer robes, the long fabric weighing them down. Once his feet touch the stones beneath them he lets go of her and he can only hope the soft waves will carry her to the shore for him. Jongin sputters and he doesn’t access the damage of the arrows in his body, too concerned about how Kyungsoo wasn’t breathing. He places a hand on her abdomen and he feels something tight beneath the thin garments of her inner robes. Jongin reaches for his knife and he cuts it open, the binding material blossoming once it’s cut loose and Kyungsoo coughs up water.

Relief hits him like a wave and Jongin freezes when he sees her chest. Jongin wasn’t personally familiar with a female’s anatomy however, Kyungsoo’s chest looked strikingly similar to his own but less toned. Jongin falls over and his eyelids feel heavy, his body finally succumbing to the exhaustion as his eyes close.


	3. Kim Jongin & Do Kyungsoo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING/SPOILERS:  
> Non consensual, coveting (?) it is nothing too detailed but there are feelings of fear/discomfort  
> Alcohol clouds judgement  
> Talk of being an orphan  
> There are a lot of heavy thoughts in this chapter, existential thoughts  
> Mentions of blood from injuries and brief mentions regarding gender  
> This is a long chapter folks! So grab a drink of water and make sure you're comfortable before you tackle it <3

_ Once he feels himself waking, he doesn’t make any movement. In moments like this he felt like if he continued to pretend then maybe things would be better and that his dreams would come to claim him. In his dreams he could do as he pleased and it wasn’t any extravagant like travelling the Kingdoms and enjoying all that they had to offer. No. He simply wanted to leave the palace once in a while, explore the palace grounds without everyone watching his every movement. He was seen as a threat to the throne though he had absolutely no desire for such a thing. It’d been a suggestion, to have him leave the palace with nothing more than a pouch of coins and a promise for land. However that had been shut down due to the paranoia of the King, knowing that a secret was out in the world with no one to watch and contain it for fear that it would grow and sow seeds for his downfall. There’s a draft in the room and it chills him to the core, though this wasn’t uncommon in the merciless mountains of Zelithiel. _

_ “How much longer will you sleep? You have work to do today Kyungsoo,” a harsh voice and the splash of water is what cruelly pulls him out of his daydreams. Kyungsoo rises from his bed before his eyes open and when they do he sees what he always sees when he wakes. It was a small room with thin cloth walls that did not insulate very well at all. There was still hay on the wooden floorboards though Kyungsoo meticulously tried to sweep everything away each night, it always came back in the morning. His bed was made of hay, wrapped tightly in some leftover fabric and that was everything he had in the room. It was one of the empty rooms in the servants quarters. They’d had to make a separate room for him since he was the only male servant in the palace, every other male worked at the stables or in the military. Kyungsoo however, didn’t have that luxury.  _

_ “Is there a guest today?” Kyungsoo asks Hyoyeon, the head maiden of the palace, who’d so kindly woken him up this morning. He gets out of bed and brushes himself off before he begins to prepare himself for the day. Kyungsoo uses the leftover water to wash his face and he dries it with a cloth hung by the window. Hyoyeon seems impatient with him, like she always was but Kyungsoo knows that though she wants to yell at him to hurry, she can’t. Kyungsoo may be a prisoner in the palace and at a lower class than she was but by blood he was much higher than she could ever dream to be. Kyungsoo tightens his robes more than usual since he knows that if a guest was at the palace, work would be much much harder than usual.  _

_ “A Lord from Feraveth visits today, the King’s brother,” Hyoyeon replies and Kyungsoo swallows the ball forming in his throat. Everyone had heard of the rumours surrounding the infamous Lord of Feraveth. None were good. Kyungsoo pitied the servants who’d be chosen to warm his bed tonight. He didn’t worry too much since he was usually kept out of sight around guests anyways, it was strange to have a male working within the palace rather than outside of it but Kyungsoo was one of those exceptions. As Kyungsoo steps outside, Hyoyeon immediately begins leading the way and he follows. He keeps his head down and his eyes on the path his feet take, knowing that looking around would only have him scolded. Kyungsoo follows her dutifully and as they weave along the cold stone pathways they take a route parallel to the King who seems to be making his way to the front gates.  _

_ Kyungsoo resents the man and he doesn’t spare a glance though he does bow his head when Hyoyeon does because the last thing he wants is to draw attention to himself. As they continue on towards the servants pavilions Kyungsoo holds his breath and clenches his fists. The King, his father, was a despicable man. Kyungsoo loathed him, everything that he was and everything he had done. His mother had been but a loyal servant, a servant that he’d laid with when his Queen was unaware of it. His mother left the palace as soon as she’d known she was pregnant and she fled to her hometown where everyone had shunned her for having given birth before marriage. But his mother had done everything she could to ensure that he was healthy and that he had enough to eat growing up. Though it had always been little. When Kyungsoo was 16 the King had somehow come to learn of his existence and dragged him back to the palace, leaving his mother alone.  _

_ And so here he was, 4 years later. The illegitimate son of the King, forced to work for him so that he could be watched. Kyungsoo had no thirst for the throne or for Royalty, he didn’t care for it. If anyone was aware of his status they never stated it. They never spoke of Kyungsoo’s resemblance to the maiden who disappeared all those years ago and they surely never spoke of his resemblance to the King himself. Kyungsoo mostly looked like his mother, with his softer features like his nose and lips but his eyebrows and eyes themselves were very much like his father. Kyungsoo knew so because when the King glared at him, he could see his own reflection in those hateful eyes. No one questioned why Kyungsoo was suddenly made a part of the palace staff but no one questioned the King. The maidens didn’t take very nicely to him and most of the time they just ignored him. Kyungsoo preferred that over petty tricks and pranks at least.  _

_ “You are to assist in the kitchen all day. There are many grand meals to be prepared and I do not want you leaving the kitchen for any reason. Any deliveries are to be handled by the other maidens,” Hyoyeon orders and she leaves him at the doors. Kyungsoo exhales and watches his breath disappear before he begins to braid his hair. It was something he always did for his mother though rarely on himself even though his hair was incredibly long. Once he’s done the braid bounces off of his lower back and Kyungsoo enters the kitchen, washing his hands using the basin on the floor before he approaches Joohyun, who was in charge of the kitchen. Joohyun had been one of the few who truly cared for him, having been impressed by his prior knowledge of cooking the first time he’d been stationed to work there. Joohyun smiles at him when she sees him and she hands him a knife before directing him over to the chopping block. _

_ “I need all of those flower petals turned into pastes. I need you to help me with the sweets, there will be a feast and celebration tonight. And then a… private celebration will be gifted to Lord Oh alone,” Joohyun speaks the last of her words in a whisper and Kyungsoo’s stomach begins to churn uncomfortably. Kyungsoo nods his head curtly and he grabs another knife from the hooks on the wall before he begins smashing the petals. The motion is easy enough to withhold for the first few batches however each handful of petals only created a tablespoon of paste. Kyungsoo could see the barrel of flower petals, different colours in each one. He doesn’t say anything as he continues his work, these would colour the sweets in an array that couldn’t be beat. If Kyungsoo was a little more artistic he would help with forming the sweets but alas. He wasn’t. _

_ “You seem distracted today, what is on your mind Kyungsoo?” Joohyun’s soft voice is hard to hear over the heavy thuds of his knives but Kyungsoo looks up at her. She was kneading a ball of dough, one that looked too shiny to be made of wheat flour, Kyungsoo assumed it was made of rice flour for the sweets. He was never really in the kitchen during visits of this scale, usually he would just be confined to his room until said guests were gone. Kyungsoo was not to be seen by anyone outside of the palace because as far as anyone knew, the King and Queen of Zelithiel only had a 3 year old daughter. Kyungsoo hadn’t met her directly but she had features like the Queen but the same bright round eyes like him and his father. Kyungsoo pauses when he feels Joohyun’s hand on his own and she gives him a wry smile before he looks down and realizes that the flower petals were beyond the form of a paste now. _

_ “I apologize. The thought of guests in the palace always makes me feel uneasy,” Kyungsoo admitted and Joohyun hummed. She scrapes the watery paste from the table and drops it into the bowl anyways before she places the dough inside and begins to knead it further with a spoon to avoid the paste from dyeing her skin. Kyungsoo had never spoken of his life before the palace with anyone within it, and no one really cared to pry. He knew that if Joohyun could then she would ask him all the questions she had on the tip of her tongue but she never did, respecting his privacy. Kyungsoo brings the cutting board over to another basin of water and he washes it the best he can of the purple petals so that he can start on the blue ones. When he returns to the table Joohyun is forming the dough into flowers and he’s in awe at the sight.  _

_ “Do not fret, today will be like any other and tomorrow we can continue with our lives like we always have,” Joohyun says nonchalantly and Kyungsoo truly hopes that that would be the case. He felt more uncomfortable today than he usually did inside of the palace. Lord Oh is someone he wants to avoid with everything he has, nothing good would come out of seeing that man.  _

  
  
  


_ “Kyungsoo the celebration has begun, come eat with us,” Joohyun calls out to him and he finishes loading another servants tray to the brim with different plates of food. Kyungsoo sends her off with a smile and he goes to sit with Joohyun and another girl in the kitchen, Wheein. They sit side by side in the open doorway and they look up at the sky, hearing the loud music in the near distance. Wheein hands him a bowl of rice and soup and he eats it heartily, having been hungry for the majority of the day. It was difficult preparing such delicious smelling food and being unable to eat any of it. Oh well, as long as the people Kyungsoo had helped prepare it for enjoyed it. Kyungsoo enjoys the feeling of the warm soup heating his insides and he shivers in delight as he sips from the bowl.  _

_ “I always wonder what the celebrations look like, they must be so grand,” Wheein mulls out loud and Kyungsoo can’t deny his interest as well. The music in Zelithiel was heavy on wind instruments, the clear sound of fluters could be heard from miles away. Music had always been something he’d enjoyed but never truly understood. Zelithiel was a cold kingdom and many forms of entertainment came from plays and stories, stories of their past portrayed through song and dance. Again, it wasn’t something he had ever seen but he assumes that most celebrations followed the same format. Kyungsoo knew that the celebratory grounds were very large, enough to fit an infinite amount of people it seemed. He had passed by them a number of times but he’d never truly had the chance to look. Anytime Kyungsoo lifted his head within the palace he was immediately scrutinized by everyone around him. The sound of fireworks causes them all to lift their heads and Kyungsoo exhales breathily. _

_ “He truly must be important if fireworks are being displayed,” Kyungsoo says quietly and the other two hum in agreement. Kyungsoo finishes his dinner and he waits for the other two to finish as well before he carries their bowls and spoons to the nearest basin, washing the dishes quickly before hanging them to dry. There really isn’t much else to do until the private celebration for Lord Oh and the kitchen staff had already prepared everything needed. Kyungsoo sighs and he decides to go check on the rice wine brewing in the storage room nearby. It would only be bottled at the opportune moment however he didn’t feel like lingering in the kitchen. As Kyungsoo is about to go, Joohyun takes hold of his wrist to stop him. _

_ “Where are you going? The other maidens will return to prepare for the private celebration any minute now,” Joohyun narrows her eyes and Kyungsoo blinks at her.  _

_ “I will be swift. I just need to check on the wine, ensure that everything is as it should be,” Kyungsoo explains softly and Joohyun’s grip on his wrist relents. He smiles wryly at her and exits the kitchen. It wasn’t a job that he was too familiar with, not knowing the details of the fermentation process used to create the wine itself. However, the large stones holding down the lids of the jars were only moveable by him or some of the stronger maidens. Joohyun and Wheein couldn’t handle the weight and their shorter statures made it difficult to reach. Kyungsoo didn’t want either of them to hurt themselves when checking on it. The walk towards the fermentation shed was short, it was only a few steps from the kitchen since many times the wines would be used for cooking. Kyungsoo pushes open the door and he winces at the loud creaking noise that follows. He quickly steps inside and gently closes the door behind him to avoid any of the warm air escaping.  _

_ The humidity is welcome during such a cold night and Kyungsoo carefully squeezes his body in between the barrels to reach the ones near the back wall. Those would be the wines enjoyed at the private party, as their flavour was stronger than any other. The sweet smell of rice and fruit wines causes Kyungsoo’s cheeks to become flushed and he removes the stone of one of the barrels before he opens the lid. The smell is pungent as it hits him and he reaches for the bamboo stick in a bucket to the left, using it to stir the wine that sounded alive as he did. Kyungsoo places the stick back where it belonged and he closed the lid, returning the stone. Everything seemed to be fine, there were any unwanted sour smells. The door suddenly opens and Kyungsoo is startled when two guards come stumbling inside. _

_ “Hey! You there! Bring the wine to the guest pavilion immediately!” one of the guards grumbles at him and Kyungsoo’s eyes widen.  _

_ “Y-you are mistaken, I work for the kitch-” _

_ “Did you not hear what I said? Immediately! Lord Oh requires multiple pots of wine, you best get started now!” The other guard interrupts him and Kyungsoo rushes to the door, grabbing the specialized pots used for rice wine before he hurries the tray back to the barrel. With shaking hands Kyungsoo begins preparing the wine as he had been taught by Joohyun and the guards continue to watch him with predatory eyes. Their gazes make his stomach churn and he tries to keep his head clear. Could they not tell that he was a man? Kyungsoo liked to think that he was known amongst the palace workers as the only man who was not in the military. It seems these guards usually patrolled the outer gates and they probably stumbled in here to steal more wine. The flush on their faces showed that they were already intoxicated. Kyungsoo hurries since he wants to get out of there as fast as he can. With shaking hands Kyungsoo carries the tray past the guards but he pauses when they both hold their sheathed swords in his path. _

_ “We will escort you there, who knows what would happen to a pretty lady like you in the middle of the night?” the smell of alcohol on their tongues as they leaned in close almost made Kyungsoo gag and he gave them a small bow in thanks. Not wanting to give them a smile. Kyungsoo was really hoping that he could hand the tray off to another maiden but he had no such luxury as these two kept a very close eye on him. Kyungsoo could only pray that they were not lying when they said that Lord Oh would be arriving shortly. It would give him time to drop the tray and return to the kitchen where he never should’ve left. The pathway towards the guest pavilion suddenly seemed so much further and Kyungsoo had his breath held the whole time. He was not a service maiden, he did not know how to carry himself and this tray in a way that was presentable. Kyungsoo kept his head down as he entered the pavilion and thankfully the guards remained outside. _

_ “Kyungsoo? What in god’s name are you doing here?” Hyoyeon’s hissing voice makes Kyungsoo almost drop the tray he was holding and he immediately feels wronged. _

_ “I did not mean for this to happen. Please, take this and I will go quietly,” Kyungsoo pleads and Hyoyeon seems too angry to do anything but take the tray when Kyungsoo practically shoves it into her hands. However, as soon as he turns around Kyungsoo freezes when an announcement is bellowed outside of the door. _

_ “Here arrives Lord Oh of Feraveth!” Kyungsoo curses under his breath and he just sticks to the wall, keeping his head as low as possible. Kyungsoo can feel the tension in Hyoyeon’s body when he glances over at her and they both freeze when Lord Oh enters the pavilion. Kyungsoo holds his breath as Lord Oh glances at him and he makes a movement to turn as soon as he passes him. Kyungsoo cries out when his braid is pulled and Lord Oh removes the hairband, his hair unravelling immediately and falling around him. _

_ “Why are you in such a hurry? Are you not one of the maidens here to keep my company?” Lord Oh’s voice is raspy and thick with phlegm. Kyungsoo swallows hard and his body has gone completely rigid out of fear. _

_ “Lord Oh, he is simply a servant from the kitchen. He is not meant to be here. Your company is all prepared for you in the room,” Hyoyeon immediately tries to help him or maybe she was just trying to save herself, who knew. Kyungsoo was thankful for it though.  _

_ “He? Show me your face servant,” Lord Oh demands and Kyungsoo can feel the man coming closer and closer, it makes his skin crawl. When he hesitates Lord Oh roughly pulls his hair and Kyungsoo gasps when the man’s hand clenches his chin, forcing him to look at him. Kyungsoo’s immediate reaction is to get away when Lord Oh looks upon his face. The man looked as though he couldn’t be older than his 30’s, his face was flushed with alcohol and his beard was scraggly and unkempt. Such a person could not have royal blood Kyungsoo thought.  _

_ “I-I am a man, Lord Oh,” Kyungsoo says as loudly as he can, not able to muster many words when his cheeks are squished at the sheer force. Lord Oh seems too drunk off of his mind because he runs his thumb along Kyungsoo’s bottom lip and Kyungsoo instantly recoils, his bones wanting to escape his skin. Lord Oh’s cracked lips stretch into an obscenely wide grin and Kyungsoo knows that it is over. _

_ “Such beauty could not be of a man. She is a goddess and she will be mine. Let your King know immediately.” Lord Oh orders, completely enamoured by Kyungsoo who only wanted this to be a cruel nightmare. This couldn’t possibly be reality. Lord Oh pulls away from him, his grin never faltering and Kyungsoo slumps against the wall when the man and his guards walk away from him. Kyungsoo looks up at Hyoyeon with teary eyes, filled with fear. She looks down at him with a vacant expression, was it pity? Disgust? Kyungsoo could not tell. However when her lips shook with laughter he could feel vomit forcing its way up his throat. _

_ “Good riddance.” _

  
  
  


Kyungsoo gasps for air as he feels it rushing painfully back into his lungs and he sits up with difficulty, coughing as his nose drips. Kyungsoo wipes his nose with the back of his hand and he looks around, trying to recall what had happened before he passed out. Kyungsoo feels his body lift as another wave of water moves underneath him and he looks up, trying to spot the mountain pathway that he could remember falling from. All that he sees is mountains surrounding them and many trees but he can’t see the path they had been on prior. They. Where was Jongin? Kyungsoo stands up in a panic and he ignores the pain shooting up his back when he sees Jongin’s lifeless body floating away. Kyungsoo doesn’t think as he goes to him, grabbing his hand before he pulls him back to shore.

“General Kim, General Kim!” Kyungsoo cries out as he drags Jongin’s body across the dirt. His body was heavy, with his lithe armour and muscular form but Kyungsoo persisted, pulling him under the shade of the trees. Jongin still wasn’t moving but he was breathing so that was definitely fortunate. Kyungsoo surveys Jongin’s body, searching for his wounds and he sees them. There was an arrow in Jongin’s left shoulder and arm, meaning he wouldn’t be able to use it for some time. Kyungsoo looks down at himself and he notices that his binding garments are gone, his chest bare. Jongin must’ve seen him then. Kyungsoo pushes the thought aside and he begins ripping what was leftover of his outer robes. Kyungsoo immediately begins binding Jongin’s wounds and he doesn’t know what else to do. If he pulled out the arrows there was a chance that Jongin would bleed to death. 

“General Kim, please tell me what to do. Tell me how to save you, please. Jongin!” Kyungsoo pleads, holding Jongin’s face desperately as he did. Jongin winces when Kyungsoo leans too close, brushing one of the arrows and slowly his eyes begin to open. Jongin’s eyes dwindle back and forth before they focus on Kyungsoo’s face. 

“Are you hurt?” Jongin whispers and Kyungsoo clenches his teeth. 

“I am fine. You are hurt General, please, tell me what to do,” Kyungsoo ignores the heavy beating of his own heart and he allows Jongin to process what happened and what needs to be done. Kyungsoo’s hands are shaking and he grips the strips of fabric in his hands as though Jongin’s life depends on it. Jongin coughs and Kyungsoo reaches out but he isn’t sure what to do.

“Help me apply pressure to the wounds, do not remove the arrows until the clots begin to form. It will bleed again when you do pull them out, however the chance of me bleeding out will be slim,” Jongin speaks like it hurts and Kyungsoo can only imagine the pain he is going through. Kyungsoo leans over and he wraps the fabric around each of his hands before he begins to press his hands against Jongin’s wounds. Even when Jongin cries out in pain Kyungsoo doesn’t stop, keeping the pressure as consistent as he can. His posture is a little awkward as he leans over him and so Kyungsoo gingerly straddles Jongin’s torso without actually sitting on him. Kyungsoo realizes that Jongin hasn’t looked away from him and he quickly glances down at his chest which was still bare. Jongin doesn’t look angry, nor does he look disgusted, he simply seems curious.

“Who are you?” Jongin asks. His eyes are a little unfocused but he was only looking at Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo avoids his honest gaze. Kyungsoo had deceived him. If he had known it would end up this way, he would have refused to interact with Jongin. However, he couldn’t deny his feelings. He couldn’t deny the urge deep inside of him, the urge for someone to see him for who he was. 

“I am Do Kyungsoo,” Kyungsoo answers and he fears that Jongin will yell at him. That he’ll be angry for what seemed like a worthless mission. Kyungsoo doesn’t look at him, his eyes looking everywhere but Jongin. However, when Jongin brings his knees up Kyungsoo loses his stance and he falls onto the General’s torso. Kyungsoo looks down at him in shock and Jongin is only looking at him. Worried that he would obstruct the General’s breathing Kyungsoo scoots down onto his abdomen.

“Thank you for saving me, Do Kyungsoo,” Jongin whispers and his eyes fall closed as he gives into his exhaustion. Kyungsoo relaxes a little once Jongin’s breathing regulates and he sighs, glad that he won’t have to worry about the General’s eyes on him anymore. Kyungsoo’s hands are shaking as he continues to put pressure on Jongin’s wounds and he looks down at the General with his lower lip between his teeth. Jongin had always been so strong and sure from the moment he met him. Kyungsoo will never forget the look of the General from the carriage window. They’d only just arrived at the palace of Feraveth and Kyungsoo had gotten a glimpse of him when he’d heard the commotion outside. Jongin was fully prepared to do what was necessary to protect the King, the palace. He always held his head so high and though there were times of vulnerability, it was never something he showed to others. Yet, lying so helpless underneath Kyungsoo like this, his heart ached. 

Kyungsoo looked around them desperately and he could only see wilderness in every direction he turned. How were they to survive like this? With Jongin injured and Kyungsoo so lacking on his own? He gritted his teeth and shook his head, now wasn’t the time to be afraid. If Kyungsoo was alone, he wouldn’t mind perishing like this… however, Jongin deserved to live. There were people who would miss him if he were to die like this. Kyungsoo tries to remember the words of his mother when he still lived with her. He’d begun working in the fields at a young age to help his mother and thankfully there had been an older man who took pity on them. He had said how Kyungsoo’s mother reminded him of his own daughter but when he took them in, his workers had left him. Having stated how they would not work for someone who granted shelter to an unwed mother. Thus, Kyungsoo grew up learning the tasks of the farm so that he could help in whatever way he could. His mother helped as well. 

Kyungsoo gently lifts his hands and he’s pleased to see that the blood has stopped flowing aggressively. He keeps the arrows as they are. As much as he wanted to move Jongin closer to the foliage, he didn’t want to risk moving him right now so with a strong resolve he stood up without using his arms. Kyungsoo’s legs were a little numb due to the strange position he had been in. He rips more of the excess fabric of his robe and he wraps it around Jongin’s wounds before he returns to the river, washing his hands free of blood. Kyungsoo cups the water in his clean hands and he takes a sip, grimacing at the faint taste of earth but relieved that the water was drinkable. He hurries back to Jongin and grabs a large leaf from the tree above before he returns to the river to gather water. Kyungsoo kneels down beside Jongin and he gently pries open the General’s mouth before he dips the leaf, allowing water to fill his mouth. It takes a few strokes to his throat for him to swallow but when he does, a small smile eases its way onto Kyungsoo chapped lips.

Once again, he takes a gander of what is around them. Kyungsoo knows that he should probably find them something to eat because food, water and rest was how Jongin would make a proper recovery. Kyungsoo stands up and he ventures into the forest at the base of the rocky cliffs around them. He never strays too far but he is pleased when he finds some large leaves. Kyungsoo plucks a few of them and he waddles back to where Jongin is before he takes a seat beside him. Kyungsoo begins tearing the leaves into long strips before he weaves them into a basket. It’s a little difficult and a long process since he can’t sew it together but he makes due with multiple strategic ties in the right places. He just focuses on the task at hand, not worrying about anything else though he does glance at Jongin from time to time to make sure he’s doing okay. Aside from the furrow in his brow, he seems to be alright. Kyungsoo finishes the basket and he removes his shoes and socks before he gathers his robe and ties it up around his thighs. 

Carefully, Kyungsoo steps into the water and he gasps when a cold rush runs all the way up his spine. He grimaces and goes in further, his toes clenching as he tries not to slip on the moss of the rocks below. Kyungsoo was no stranger to rivers and lakes however he was used to ponds where all he would feel was dirt underneath his feet. The rocks make his steps uneasy and his legs start to feel the strain since he’s so busy trying to keep himself from slipping inside. Kyungsoo glances back to Jongin and he’s relieved to see the General still resting. Something brushes past his feet and he yelps, lifting his foot in surprise. Kyungsoo sees a group of fish swimming through his legs and he dips the hand woven basket down as quickly as he can. Grunting when he manages to catch two hearty sized fish. Kyungsoo wraps the basket around them to keep their bodies from flailing around so much and he cautiously returns to the shore. Just as he sets his feet back onto the sand however he notices something twinkling within the water. 

Kyungsoo walks towards it and he reaches down to grab whatever it was. His fingers pull it out of the water and he places it in the palm of his hand, eyebrows scrunched downward as he tries to decipher what it is. A pin? It was a beautiful thing that Kyungsoo had never seen before. It reminded him of the extravagant hairpins he’d seen the Queen wear back when he was living in the palace of Zelithiel. Kyungsoo wasn’t sure what it was trying to depict but he could see a floral shape and wisps of metal that cradled it like it was something precious. The pin itself was golden but the flower and beads embedded into it were pink, a soft pink like pearls. Kyungsoo walked back to shore staring at the trinket and he looked down at his robes, seeing how the pinks matched with that of the pin. Kyungsoo drops the basket onto the sand and he sets the pin down before he begins braiding his hair. He hadn’t noticed that it was in his face earlier but now it was hard to ignore so he braided it and tucked it away. When Kyungsoo reached down to grab the pin, he was surprised when he held a hand instead.

“G-general! You should rest. I will wake you when it is time to eat,” Kyungsoo stutters and lets go of Jongin’s hand when he sees him looking with lidded eyes. Jongin lifts the pin from the sand and he shakes the excess sand away before a relieved smile reaches his lips. How can someone look so weak and beautiful at the same time?

“I did not realize I lost this,” Jongin whispers and before Kyungsoo could ask about it, Jongin gives him a stern look.

“Remove the arrows Kyungsoo and be prepared to apply pressure once more. Please,” Kyungsoo doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to be the reason Jongin is in more pain. But he also knows that only he can help Jongin do this and that by doing this, Jongin will get better. But what if it didn’t work? What if Jongin bled out and left Kyungsoo all alone with his blood on his hands? Sensing Kyungsoo’s hesitation Jongin takes hold of his hand and he looks at him with unwavering eyes. Kyungsoo couldn’t look away from the sheer trust in Jongin’s eyes. But why? What had Kyungsoo done to have earned this trust. Maybe he just wanted to live and Kyungsoo was the only one there to help him. He wasn’t sure but considering he’d been doing nothing but deceiving the man since the moment they met it was needless to say that there was no reason to trust him. Kyungsoo breathes deeply and he truly looks into Jongin’s eyes before he nods his head. With shaking knees he washes his hands again in the river before he returns to Jongin’s side, kneeling beside him as he prepares to remove the first of two arrows.

“Pull as hard as you can, do not hesitate Consort Do,” Jongin says before he uses his mobile arm to pull up his robe, biting down on it before he closes his eyes. Kyungsoo clenches his fists to ease the trembling and he inches forward to properly grip the arrow in Jongin’s shoulder. Jongin immediately tenses up and his brows are furrowed as his teeth sink into the fabric. Kyungsoo counts down to himself and he pulls the arrow as hard as he can, rising up higher on his knees to get more leverage. He falls back with the arrow in hand and Jongin’s muffled scream makes Kyungsoo’s stomach churn. Scrambling forward he applies pressure to the bleeding wound and he is thankful when he sees that it isn’t bleeding as much as he was worried it would. Jongin hasn’t released the fabric from between his teeth and there’s sweat lining his forehead, his face looking pale. 

“Relax, try to relax. You are too tense right now, it will pass General. It will pass,” Kyungsoo tries his best to be comforting but Jongin doesn’t seem to be hearing him. There was still one more arrow but Kyungsoo didn’t have the heart to pull it right now, he would wait until Jongin was ready. The cloth surrounding the open wound was beginning to darken with blood and Kyungsoo was ready to return to the river to wash it before he returned to apply more pressure but Jongin gripped his wrist when he moved. He looked up at him like he was afraid Kyungsoo was going to leave him.

“I will be right back General, I need to wash your wound,” Kyungsoo says with earnest eyes and Jongin relents, allowing him to part for a split second. Kyungsoo doesn’t take longer than a minute and soon enough he is right by Jongin’s side once more, cleaning the dried blood around the wound. Jongin is only looking at his face and Kyungsoo feels flustered under such an honest gaze. Jongin wasn’t a man of many words, however his eyes spoke worlds to Kyungsoo. He turns away and he looks out to the river for a moment, seeing how the sky was beginning to burn a bright orange. Kyungsoo swallows hard and he wonders how far they drifted, he wonders if the ones they left behind were still alive, he wonders where the bodies of those who aren’t are. His heart clenches for those who’d been with him only moments before to suddenly be gone. 

“Why did this have to happen? This is all my fault,” Kyungsoo says helplessly and he can feel a lump forming in his throat. If only he had listened to Joohyun and stayed inside the kitchen this wouldn’t have happened. None of this would be happening. The maidens of the palace were never kind to him, including Seulgi and Sooyoung but they didn’t deserve to die. And Jongin’s men? They had been nothing but accommodating during this journey and he had them to thank for how far they’d gotten. Kyungsoo wishes that his choice that night wouldn’t have affected so many people like this. But this had been the perfect excuse for his father to rid of him once and for all. Tears start streaming down his face before he can stop them and he gasps painfully at the intense ache in his chest. What was he to do now? Did it matter? He’d been thrown away. Was there any reason to continue on? Should he just bring Jongin to a nearby town and disappear? 

“I was an orphan,” Jongin’s weak voice breaks through the setting sun and Kyungsoo looks to him in surprise, his eyes wide and shimmering with tears. Jongin’s gaze is far, far out onto the sparkling water that was reflecting the sunset. Kyungsoo does the same, looking out as he breathes with the water. 

“I was brought to the palace when I was a babe. Left at the servants gate wrapped up in a blanket inside of a basket. This pin was holding the blanket around me,” Jongin lifts up the pin and he looks at it like it meant the world to him. Kyungsoo crosses his legs and he adjusts his robes around him, seeing how they flutter onto the sand. 

“The previous General took me in as his own. You see, he had lost his daughter to a battle a few years earlier,” Jongin grunts as he shifts and Kyungsoo holds out his hands immediately, hovering hesitantly before he drops them. 

“Is he the reason why you became General after him?” Kyungsoo asks. Jongin didn’t know his real father yet he was lucky to be found and taken in by someone who became his father. Kyungsoo hadn’t thought of his childhood as lacking in any way. He loved his mother and he loved the grandpa that cared for them. He wouldn’t deny that occasionally the question of who his father was reached the tip of his tongue but his mother seemed happy without him, she seemed happy just being his mother.

“When I was a child he sat me down and told me that I did not owe anything to him. That raising me was enough to him and that anyone could be General after him, it did not have to be me. However, I chose to train so that I could become General. I wanted to repay the Kingdom for taking me in and giving me an opportunity that not many orphans have,” Jongin explains and Kyungsoo smiles with his head down. Jongin truly was fortunate to have such a kind father. Kyungsoo couldn’t say the same. He would never forget how his so called father didn’t even look at him when he agreed to have Kyungsoo sent away to Lord Oh. 

“What is your father doing now?” Kyungsoo brings his knees up to his chest and he folds his arms before resting his cheek against them, looking down at Jongin as he does. His hair falls free and cascades around his body, the sunset burning orange as the light envelopes him. Jongin loses his breath for a moment and Kyungsoo waits for a response, not noticing the way the General looks away to catch his breath again. 

“He now lives outside of the town on his own little farm. I visit him from time to time when I seek guidance but not often since I know he values his time outside of the palace,” Jongin smiles and he exhales as he closes his eyes. Kyungsoo can understand that. Life outside of the palace had been freedom to say the least. Having little to your name was difficult but the hardships were easily overcome with the support provided from family. Inside of the palace it was a very lonely life. Everyone was too busy trying to survive, trying to keep the dark secrets hidden within. Kyungsoo had wanted no part of it. There was a time when he apologized to his mother for being born. For without him, she would still have a life ahead of her, she had been young and had not wed yet. But she’d harshly rebuked him, stating that giving birth to him had been her choice and there wasn’t a day that had gone by where she’d come to regret that decision, not even for a second. He misses her.

“I may not know of your circumstances or how it came to be that we met when you entered the palace. However, I assure you. This was not your fault,” Jongin whispers and Kyungsoo buries his face into his arms. His body tenses up as he holds himself.

“Please rest General, when you wake I will have a meal ready for you,” Kyungsoo says quietly and he stands up, grabbing the basket of fish as he does. All the while, Jongin watches him until the sun goes down.

Kyungsoo moves with haste since he doesn’t want to be fumbling completely blind in the dark and he heads into the trees to grab some dry leaves and sticks. It seems that the foliage in the southern half of Feraveth wasn’t as vibrant and healthy as the north. Kyungsoo didn’t feel comfortable hidden in the trees so he grabbed as much as he would need and he got out as soon as he could. His hands are struggling to hold all of the plant parts and he hurries back to the beach before he settles at a dry patch. Kyungsoo throws things together and he moves his robes out of the way as he sits down on the sand cross legged. With his heels holding a log he takes hold of a stick and he begins spinning it, running his hands down the stick before he resets and does it again, doing his best to create friction. Kyungsoo grits his teeth and he can feel sweat forming on his brow already. It would seem life in the palace softened him up in a way, even though it wasn’t necessarily easy. 

“Where did you learn all of this? The basket was also woven by you, yes?” The sound of Jongin’s voice makes him jump and his eyes wide when he sees that the General is no longer lying down. Kyungsoo drops the stick and he hurries to stand but before he can Jongin grips the other arrow and tears it from his arm. He curses under his breath and uses his own robe to apply pressure. Kyungsoo’s jaw drops as Jongin attempts to stand and only then do his legs begin working again. He almost runs into the General, arms wrapped around him as he tries to get him to lie down again. 

“I am alright Consort Do, my shoulder was wounded heavier than my arm. My body is so stiff, I want to walk,” Jongin insists and Kyungsoo can only help him over towards the little fire he’d been trying to set up. Once Jongin is sitting carefully against the base of the cliff behind them, Kyungsoo returns to the fire suddenly feeling nervous now that he was being watched openly. 

“Please do not push yourself General, or you will not recover,” Kyungsoo huffs and Jongin smiles at him as if he was amused by Kyungsoo’s frustration.

“You have not answered my question,” Jongin reminds him and Kyungsoo focuses on lighting a fire. 

“My mother taught me how to weave baskets and sacks when I was young. She could only weave so fast and grandpa’s old hands could not do such work,” Kyungsoo says and he smiles when smoke begins to grace the air. He chases the spark and is pleased when small flames light the night. Jongin hands him a small knife and Kyungsoo takes it with gratitude before he heads back to the river to properly clean the fish. 

“And your father?” Jongin asks and Kyungsoo tenses up immediately. He descales the fish and cuts off its fins before he cuts it open and cleans the insides.

“I do not have a father. My mother raised me alone with the help of the old man that took us in,” Kyungsoo’s movements grow a little aggressive and Jongin’s expression is unreadable in the flicker of flames. He puts the cleaned fishes on a stick and begins to roast them, his chest heaving at the emotions he still hasn’t let go just yet. 

“How exactly did you end up here Consort Do? From what you have told me, you lived with your mother and were taken in at the mercy of this old man who is not your blood relative. I cannot imagine Lord Oh would be wandering in the town you lived in and if he did see you in such a way. Why did he take you as a consort when you were not dressed like a woman?” Kyungsoo tenses up when Jongin’s questions hit each weak point in the walls he’d built around himself and he watches helplessly as it all comes falling down. Jongin deserves to know, it was because of Kyungsoo that things have come to this point. Oh how he wishes that the General would say his name, the title of Consort made his chest hurt.

“The King of Zelithiel sees me as a threat and he brought me into the Palace. I strayed too far from the kitchen on the night they were celebrating Lord Oh’s arrival and his drunken state rendered him unable to see that I was a man. The King sent me to avoid a war,” Kyungsoo explains quietly and Jongin reaches forward which makes him unconsciously flinch back. However, Jongin simply reaches for his hand holding the roasting fish before he turns them, Kyungsoo feels his face flushing because he’d almost burnt their meal entirely. Jongin’s touch lingers before he pulls away.

“You are the bastard son of the King,” Jongin says in realization and Kyungsoo doesn’t say a word. Only the crackle of the fire and the crickets singing in the night could be heard as neither of them found courage to speak. Kyungsoo hands Jongin a fish and the General takes it with thanks, blowing on the cooked meat before he takes a careful bite. Kyungsoo follows suit and he smiles at the taste. It was nearly tasteless if not for the smokey flavour from the fire but there was something familiar about it. Kyungsoo finishes his fish first and he looks to Jongin who was watching the reflection of the moon on the water. He curls up into himself again before he finds the courage to say what was on his mind. 

“My fate is in your hands General Kim. I am tired of the life I have lived and I no longer care what will happen next. Should you leave me here or at the mercy of Lord Oh, it is your choice,” Kyungsoo says quietly and he watches as the fire slowly dies out. The night was uncharacteristically warm for autumn but Kyungsoo was thankful for that. The light of the moon shining brightly above washes over them and Kyungsoo looks up at it. A small breeze brushes past his shoulder and he winces at the sand in the air before he lifts his head up high, exhaling as he fixes his hair. When he looks back at Jongin he sees what he would describe as pure mesmerization. When their eyes meet Jongin doesn’t look away and it takes every ounce of strength within Kyungsoo to hold his gaze. Jongin saw him in a way he would never understand. What did he really think of him? Kyungsoo’s heart pounded in his chest.

“Consort Do-” Jongin begins and Kyungsoo cannot bear to hear the words anymore.

“Please do not call me by that title. I beg of you,” Kyungsoo can’t hide the desperation in his voice and he can see the way Jongin tenses before he relaxes.

“What would you like me to call you?” Jongin asks and Kyungsoo doesn’t have an answer. Being called by his title would be easy if it wasn’t so degrading. He did not wish to be called by his surname either and it wasn’t exactly appropriate to be called by his given name however… he cannot deny the desire to hear his name uttered by the General’s lips.

“Call me by my name,” Kyungsoo requests and he keeps his head down, afraid of Jongin’s reaction to something so absurd. Perhaps he should’ve kept his veil, it was easier to face Jongin with it covering his face.

“Kyungsoo, tell me what you see,” Jongin says without hesitation and Kyungsoo feels his cheeks flare up. He lifts his head and sees that Jongin was holding out his pin to him, Kyungsoo takes it with both hands and he holds it in his hands with care. 

“I see… this flower is being protected somehow. By the wind? What may be wind or water? It is cherished in the midst of nature surrounding it,” Kyungsoo answers and Jongin smiles at him. It is a gentle smile, something he hasn’t seen on the General’s face before. His lips spread wide and reveal his teeth but the gesture does not reach his eyes. Kyungsoo wonders what his laugh would sound like, how a smile would look on his face if it was uninvited, he wants to see every expression the General has to offer. Sometimes during the night Kyungsoo would see a vacant look on Jongin’s face, as if he was lost in his thoughts, he had always wondered what thoughts carried him away. 

“I believe this pin is from my mother. It is a feeling I have every time I look at it. No one has a choice in their fate, Kyungsoo. However, we do have the will to take control of it. But we will always be protected by the Moon, she watches over all,” Jongin’s voice is sincere and Kyungsoo looks at his hands, bathed in moonlight. 

“When I see this pin I do not think of my mother who left me at the palace gates. I think of my mother who was trying to give me a chance, more than what she could provide for me. I know that she is protecting me in this fate. A fate she allowed me to weave on my own,” Kyungsoo swallows hard and he does not understand how someone so young can be so sure. 

“What if it is too late?” Kyungsoo whispers and he holds himself, wrapping his robes tight like a shield. 

“Your life has yet to begin Kyungsoo. You wished to be selfish for once did you not?” Kyungsoo looks up in surprise, he hadn’t expected Jongin to remember. However, the doubt in his heart would not be so easily swayed.

“At what cost does selfishness come? What will become of you if I am not in Lord Oh’s palace? What will become of this promise of peace between Southern Feraveth and Zelithiel? Between Northern Feraveth and Southern Feraveth?” Kyungsoo asks and Jongin slumps down onto the sand. The General appears exhausted and only then does Kyungsoo remember that he is wounded. Jongin lies down and Kyungsoo hovers close, his hands raised without a clear purpose. 

“When I first saw you, I believed you to be the Moon goddess herself,” Jongin whispers and Kyungsoo’s eyes widen as he falls asleep. Kyungsoo ignores the warmth in his chest and he lies down beside the General, leaving ample space between them. The sound of the river and the heavy breaths from Jongin lull him to sleep and he closes his eyes with the vision of Jongin’s face behind his lids. 

  
  
  


Kyungsoo wakes as soon as the sun blares brightly behind his eyelids. His body feels sore from the exhaustion of yesterday and he opens his eyes slowly but he doesn’t make any quick movements. It’d been difficult to sleep at first with his mind running through his conversations with Jongin the day prior but thankfully sooner than later he managed to fall asleep. Kyungsoo blinks slowly and his eyes widen when he realizes just how close Jongin’s face is to his own. Even when the General is supposed to be resting there is still a furrow between his brows and Kyungsoo reaches up unconsciously, brushing the creased skin with his thumb in an attempt to smooth it out. The sudden contact causes Jongin to stir and Kyungsoo’s brain moves faster than his limbs because he doesn’t manage to pull away until Jongin’s eyes are already open. He sits up in a hurry and looks down at Jongin who was looking at him with a blank expression on his face, still dazed from sleep.

“How are you feeling?” Kyungsoo asks and Jongin smacks his lips together before he yawns. He makes the mistake of stretching his whole body however and winces the moment the pain settles in. Jongin curls back into his stiff posture and groans while Kyungsoo leans in to look at his wounds. It was a little hard to see through Jongin’s torn clothes and the dried blood stuck to his skin. 

“It does not hurt as much as yesterday. I will be better by tomorrow,” Jongin grits his teeth and Kyungsoo furrows his brows. 

“You should wash your wounds in the river. I can wash our clothes as well,” Kyungsoo suggests nonchalantly. Jongin had been sweating profusely yesterday and his clothes were stained with blood. Kyungsoo on the other hand needed to shed some layers because his ripped robes were heavy on him and a little uncomfortable. With the way his inner robes were ripped it was hard for him to keep his modesty when he sat.

“I need your assistance. I cannot move my arm much,” Jongin agrees to his idea and Kyungsoo nods his head. He helps the General stand and he’s mindful of their height difference, trying his best to walk on his toes so that Jongin wasn’t in any discomfort. Once they reach the river Kyungsoo realizes what it meant to assist Jongin when the General stands there blankly looking at him. He swallows hard and stands in front of him before he begins undoing Jongin’s robes. Kyungsoo stands a little close so that he can be careful when removing the clothing but with how Jongin was watching him, everything felt too intimate. He can’t move quickly for fear of irritating Jongin’s closed wounds. With Jongin so close to him, Kyungsoo doesn’t dare lift his head and he focuses on the task at hand. Jongin doesn’t say a word and he doesn’t move when Kyungsoo removes his outer robes. 

With Jongin standing so close to him he can only think about the General. Kyungsoo can really feel their height difference like this which wasn’t that large but it was still there. Kyungsoo felt smaller in front of the General and this time  _ he _ was being looked at, not the image of Consort Do. Kyungsoo removes Jongin’s robes completely and he’s greeted with beautifully sun kissed skin. A part of him had wondered whether Jongin’s complexion had been naturally or made by hours and hours underneath the skies. Kyungsoo himself had been tanned in his younger years but living in the palace brought back his naturally fair complexion. Jongin’s torso was toned in the most delicate ways and Kyungsoo could see every ridge and every muscle that made him look the way he did.

Jongin’s abdomen wasn’t completely perfect, littered with scars from years of rigorous training that shaped him into the proud General he was today. Kyungsoo unconsciously traced the lines with his eyes, following the contours of Jongin’s sculpted body. His body reminded Kyungsoo of those sculptures he’d seen drawings of from those who had the privilege to go overseas. Kyungsoo swallows hard and he drops Jongin’s robes onto the sand so that he could wash them later. He doesn’t help the General with his pants, letting him remove those on his own. Kyungsoo pulls up his robes and he wraps them around his upper thighs before he and Jongin step into the water and he gasps as they venture in where the water reaches his thighs and Jongin’s knees. 

“Your robe will get wet, why not take it off? We are both men,” Jongin states and Kyungsoo follows his eyes down to his thighs. He clears his throat and bends down to wash his hands.

“I will wash the robes together later,” Kyungsoo ends the conversation. They were indeed both men but Kyungsoo wasn’t comfortable with showing his body, he never has been. With the fiasco regarding his gender, it just made things more difficult for him. Kyungsoo cups water in his hand and reaches up towards Jongin’s shoulder wound but the General sits down in the river instead. Kyungsoo follows suit and he kneels before gasping at the uneven rocks beneath him and he stumbles, blushing when Jongin catches him with one hand. Kyungsoo’s excess robes begin floating around them and the white and pink fabric becomes almost transparent in the water. Kyungsoo sits in front of Jongin and he begins cupping water and gently letting it fall over him. 

“Let me help you wash your hair, you were sweating so much yesterday,” Kyungsoo whispers and he swallows hard. A whisper in the mountain river felt much too intimate. He clears his throat unconsciously and only then does Kyungsoo remember that Jongin can only use one arm. Carefully he removes the ribbon holding together Jongin’s top knot and once it’s loose his hair falls to his shoulders. Kyungsoo smooths his hair back and Jongin closes his eyes as his head tilts back slightly. It’s quiet between them as Kyungsoo washes away the dirt and blood from Jongin’s hair and skin. The quiet becomes too much and with the sound of rushing water around them, he sings softly under his breath. A lullaby that his mother used to sing to him. Kyungsoo carefully runs his thumb over Jongin’s wounds and he’s relieved to see that the wounds are closed and that scabs have formed. 

“The cold water does not bother you?” Kyungsoo asks with a smile. Jongin hasn’t flinched once even when Kyungsoo washes his hair. He seems content almost and Kyungsoo can only imagine how nice it must feel after enduring so much pain. 

“It feels soothing,” Jongin says quietly and Kyungsoo runs his fingers through his wet hair, trying not to get it too tangled in his fingers. 

“I am done,” Kyungsoo tells him softly and Jongin opens his eyes with a thankful smile. Kyungsoo stands up and he is almost pulled down by the weight of his robes, the thin fabric sticking to his legs like a second skin. Kyungsoo waddles back to shore and he removes his outer robe. Since he was wearing a dress made for nobles it has many layers and rather than pants, he only has an underdress. It was tight and kept his waist cinched but now that it was torn he had no use for it. Kyungsoo doesn’t know how he’ll be able to rearrange the robes in a way that keeps his dignity. Not that he had much left at this point. Jongin seems content just sitting in the river and Kyungsoo doesn’t have the heart to tell him that he should probably get out. Kyungsoo begins washing their clothes in the running water and he glances back at the trees to quickly determine a place to hang them when he was done. 

“Kyungsoo, I see a town in the near distance,” Jongin calls out to him and he turns his head in the direction he is facing. Kyungsoo stands up and looks as far as he can though his vision is certainly not the sharpest. But he can see it, smoke in the distance. How Jongin could determine it was a town, Kyungsoo didn’t know but he trusted the General’s judgement. 

“We should go into town once we have eaten and our clothes are dry. I need to send a letter,” Jongin says and Kyungsoo’s heart drops into his stomach. He unconsciously looks at Jongin with a look of pure terror on his face and he almost drops the robes in his hands. Could Jongin have made a decision about him already? It had completely slipped his mind. Kyungsoo startles at the sound of Jongin approaching him and he is afraid to look at the General’s face. Jongin may be gentle but he was still loyal to his King as the General of his palace. Kyungsoo was simply an unfortunate man in an unfortunate situation. There was no reason for him to risk his mission because of Kyungsoo. A warm hand touches his shoulder and he shies away from the firm touch. Jongin squats down in front of him and Kyungsoo stares at him with wide eyes, his lips parted.

“For someone who does not care for their fate. You appear to be terrified of the future,” Jongin’s tone is casual but his words are heavy. Kyungsoo remains frozen when the General stands and passes him and he forces his hands to begin moving again so that he could distract himself. Kyungsoo had put his fate into Jongin’s hands, he’d been so sure of that the day before but why was he feeling hesitant? It was impossible for him to continue a life with either of his choices. If Lord Oh discovers that he is a man, he will be killed immediately. If he returns home to Zelithiel he will be hanged for treason. Those were his only two options. Jongin’s only two options. Kyungsoo could not live in Feraveth as a refuge not under the King’s General. Perhaps giving Jongin the choice was a way of protecting himself. 

“General Kim, may you hang these up to dry? I wish to wash myself,” Kyungsoo requests quietly and Jongin takes the lightly wrung clothes from his hands. 

Kyungsoo walks into the river and he lets his hair loose from the hair tied top knot he had lazily put it into last night and it cascades down his back, touching his hips. Most men did not keep their hair as long as Kyungsoo did, most kept it long enough to tie into a top knot. However, Kyungsoo’s mother adored his hair. She had always told him how jealous she was of him and how his hair was prettier than hers. Of course Kyungsoo did not believe it but just seeing the twinkle in his mother’s eyes made him want to keep it long for her and after it reached past his shoulders, he too preferred it that way. Kyungsoo’s hair was not straight like most men or women in their Kingdom. His hair was thick and fell in full waves. His hair had been given treatment before he left the Zelithiel, a tonic that made his hair straight. It seems that the river washed it all away because his hair was natural again. 

In a distracted mindset Kyungsoo begins to wash himself while singing again and he doesn’t realize that Jongin is watching him. Kyungsoo looks down at his legs in the water and he curls his toes around the rocks under his feet. Everything had a place in this world. The river, the mountains, the algae on the rocks, the forest… Jongin. Everything and everyone had a place, but where was his? Even in his own hometown he wasn’t accepted. Now he was in another Kingdom under another identity wondering whether his life was worth living or not. He cups the clear water in his hands and splashes his face, lightly tapping his skin before he sits down and washes under his arms and along his neck. His eyes are blankly nailed to the horizon where the river meets the sky and he runs his hands over his skin with no thoughts in his head. Kyungsoo sings his mother’s lullaby and he looks down, seeing how the water moves over his hands. Everything felt so alive around him. 

“Kyungsoo,” he looks over his shoulder when Jongin calls his name and for a moment they’re silent. Kyungsoo stands and he unconsciously hides himself from Jongin’s eyes, his arms positioned in front of his body. Kyungsoo was by no means a glutton nor was he granted the luxury of being one however fat stored itself in his body and never made a means to disappear. His shorter stature did not lend to his proportions very well in his opinion because his hips were slender but his thighs were thick and his behind was plush as well. With Jongin standing in the close distance with his meticulously sculpted body Kyungsoo felt inferior and he ducks his head when he passes the General. 

“Will you take me to the palace once we have gone into town?” Kyungsoo tries to remain stoic but he cannot hide the tremble in his voice. The thin fabric that made his robes were almost dry, fluttering in the wind as they hung from a nearby tree. Kyungsoo unconsciously runs his hand along the dancing robes, the fabric soft beneath his fingertips but fleeting from his palm. 

“I have not yet decided. It is not a simple choice,” Jongin replies and Kyungsoo scoffs.

“Determining the fate of a man whom you have no relations with? I would argue that it is a clear decision, General Kim. You have a mission to fulfill,” Kyungsoo grips the robes in his hands and he takes a deep breath, the material completely wrinkling. Kyungsoo gasps when he feels a hand on his shoulder and he’s turned around a little roughly, his feet scrambling to keep him standing on the loose sand.

“ _ You _ may not care for your life but  _ I _ am not taking this lightly. You appear to have chosen your fate by leaving it in my hands but that is a way of a coward Kyungsoo. Even then you have not fully given the reigns to me and you continue to be vague and unclear with what it is you truly want. You are no longer a mere Consort that I am to escort. You are Do Kyungsoo and I will treat you as such,” Jongin seethes and Kyungsoo is taken aback by his words. Jongin’s grip on his shoulder is so firm, not enough to hurt him but enough to show how serious he is. Kyungsoo shrinks in front of Jongin’s honesty and he begins to shake. 

“I am so  _ afraid _ Jongin,” Kyungsoo whispers and his voice breaks as tears fill his eyes. He would have been satisfied working on the old man’s farm and taking care of his mother when she grew older. That was all he wanted. Not once in his life did he ever desire more, he never yearned to know who his father was and he truly did not care for the throne. Lord Oh was a disgusting man and he had haunted Kyungsoo’s nights with that mere encounter moons ago. Kyungsoo had pleaded and fought to escape, claiming that he would live out his days quietly far away from the palace. But his father had been relentless, Kyungsoo was not his son, he was a mere smudge on his picture perfect plan. Everything was so unfair. 

Kyungsoo continues to sob quietly and Jongin gently holds his hands before he pulls him into a warm embrace. Kyungsoo tenses up due to their bare skin touching but he relaxes almost instantly in Jongin’s reassuring hold. He was only able to use one arm but he made Kyungsoo feel safer than he ever had in his life. Kyungsoo is aware of Jongin’s tough position, he is a General and his King is to be put first. When Jongin doesn’t speak a word, Kyungsoo understands. The sound of Jongin’s heartbeat speaks for him and when Kyungsoo hears it speed up, his own heart does as well. And he prays that they understand each other. Jongin is the first to pull away and he turns, returning to the river. Kyungsoo watches him go with a heavy heart and he rubs his eyes with the back of his hands. Jongin has his woven basket in one hand and Kyungsoo decides to build a fire while the General catches fish. 

The next while is filled with only silence between them. Jongin doesn’t speak and Kyungsoo is almost afraid to. They eat together and wait for their clothes to dry before getting dressed. Jongin’s clothes were mostly unharmed with only a few rips where the arrows had penetrated his skin. Kyungsoo’s on the other hand were in a much more dire state. His inner robe was completely torn and what was his overcoat was gone, abandoned in the river due to its heavier state. His clothes had consisted of multiple thin layers of fabric worn together and he didn’t have many of them left. Kyungsoo swallows hard and he begins to weave the fabric in a way that keeps his decency. He still had his sleeves at least so he wore those and wrapped the remaining fabric around his waist, allowing the rest of it to flow behind him. His shins were showing due to the lack of length but at least he was covered up. 

“We can sell these for money, I believe it will give us enough to buy new clothes and whatever else we might need,” Kyungsoo says quietly as he begins to remove the jewelry he had been given by the palace. His ears were hurriedly pierced and he removed the earrings that were causing him pain. Kyungsoo washes them in the river and he tries to remove the necklace as well but he struggles to. A shiver runs up his spine when Jongin’s fingertips brush the nape of his neck and Kyungsoo holds his breath as the necklace comes loose and lands in the awaiting palm of his hand. He doesn’t look at the jewelry, wanting to rid it of his memory entirely. Kyungsoo approaches Jongin and hands him the jewelry for safekeeping before he wriggles his toes in the sand. They would have to buy shoes as well. Kyungsoo takes one last look at the small beach they had spent their days on and he turns towards the forest without looking back. 

Kyungsoo is struggling to say the least. This forest in particular was unforgiving for his shorter limbs and his flowing robes. His feet are constantly tripping over the large roots of the tall trees and when he tries to lift his legs higher with each step it takes longer. Kyungsoo is so busy looking at the ground to avoid falling that he can see the distance between him and Jongin. He wants to call out to him, request that they walk slower but he doesn’t have the courage to. Kyungsoo takes another step and he gasps when his robe gets snagged. It causes his foot to land desperately to give him balance again but he only stubs his toe on another root. Kyungsoo falls forward and he holds out his arms, his eyes closed as he waits for the impact but his face falls directly into Jongin’s chest and he unconsciously wraps his arms around the General for stability.

“Watch your step Kyungsoo. If I am moving too fast please let me know,” Jongin’s tone is gentle and Kyungsoo was just glad he didn’t seem mad at him. Kyungsoo lifts his head from Jongin’s chest, leaning back a bit but not too much because if he let go he would fall. His hair is in his eyes when he looks up at Jongin who smooths his hair out of his eyes, his fingertips brushing his cheeks. 

“My legs cannot keep up with yours,” Kyungsoo says simply and Jongin looks down at him, as if he never really noticed their height difference before. There’s a small quirk on his lips and he reaches back before he peels one of Kyungsoo’s hands off of his waist and he grabs his wrist.

“Let me lead you, we are not far,” Jongin slows his pace and he glances back often to make sure that Kyungsoo wasn’t having any problems. The grip on his wrist isn’t too rough but it was still strong enough to help him along and Kyungsoo was thankful for it. They eventually find something like a path and Jongin lets go of his hand as they follow it into town. Kyungsoo doesn’t want to admit how much he misses the warmth of Jongin’s touch. Once they emerge from the forest Kyungsoo feels relieved but the sight of the town isn’t very welcoming either. 

“Stay by my side,” Jongin warns him and Kyungsoo immediately sticks himself to the General. The town itself was small and it was surrounded by the forest and cliffs. In the near distance Kyungsoo could see the Southern Palace and it made his stomach turn. Unlike the Northern Palace which was spread among numerous pavilions and gardens the Southern Palace looked like that of Western castles he had seen in drawings. There were tall towers and the palace itself was made of gray stone which looked unforgiving. He could not see that clearly but he could see that it appeared like that fit for a King whereas the town nearby… was not. The town itself was small and it was busy to say the least. The streets were made of loosely laid cobblestone that threatened Kyungsoo’s ankles every time he took a step. The shops and houses themselves appeared tattered and worn but the townspeople did not seem to be suffering at least. 

“Hello sir, how much could we sell these to you for?” Jongin asks as they arrive at a small stall in the corner of the street. Kyungsoo took a glance into the shop behind him and he could see numerous statues of gold and other jewelry decorated with stones and gems. How he even ran this kind of business in a town like this, Kyungsoo did not know. The man inspects said jewelry with a round glass against his eye and he scratches the scruff on his chin with pursed lips. From what Kyungsoo had heard in the carriage, Jongin had only been to the Southern Palace a handful of times but that was still more than Kyungsoo had ever been. The people here were not happy, that much Kyungsoo could tell and he had come from a village much smaller than this town. Kyungsoo knows that his robes screamed some kind of female nobility and he unconsciously grips the back of Jongin’s shirt. 

“This is some interesting jewelry you have here son, where did you come across it?” the man has a thick voice and with how scratchy his tone is it was a wonder how much he smoked a day. Kyungsoo could see someone sitting inside the shop eyeing him and he purposely looked away. 

“Some merchant from Zelithiel dropped it off of their horse. How much?” Jongin lies nonchalantly and Kyungsoo tries not to look around so much. 

“Zelithiel? Well this is worth about 50 gold pieces. 10 for each earring and 30 for the necklace. Do we have a deal?” the man asks and Kyungsoo isn’t too sure how currency works in Feraveth. It was a little different than Zelithiel but he also wasn’t sure of the wealth of his jewelry to begin with. He doubts that he was given anything of value when he was essentially being sent off to his death anyways. 

“Yes we do, thank you sir,” Jongin bows his head when he takes the pouch of coins from the man and Kyungsoo takes a glance inside, seeing if it truly was 50 gold pieces worth. It was. Together they enter a little shop filled with shoes and Kyungsoo greets the old couple sitting on stools behind a counter. It wasn’t hard to notice how lively the town was and Kyungsoo could see decorations being put up as well. Was some kind of festival happening soon?

“You two came at the right time dear. It’s the eve of the harvest moon and tonight we will celebrate. A couple like you will be blessed by the moon goddess herself,” the old lady says to him and Kyungsoo flushes at her assumption. Jongin is at his side in a millisecond and he’s kneeling next to him to see what his foot size is. Kyungsoo flushes even harder.

“There will be plenty to eat and drink and music for all to enjoy. We do not have celebrations like this often. Our Lord does not participate,” her husband explains and Kyungsoo feels relief at that. Jongin places two pairs of shoes onto the counter and he is ready to pay. Kyungsoo doesn’t know if he has been listening or not.

“2 gold pieces, a pair. We do not know what brings you to our little town but we are happy to have you in time for the harvest moon. It must be fate dear,” the old lady smiles at them both and Jongin pays her with a respectful bow. Kyungsoo waves farewell as they exit the shop and he nearly bumps into Jongin who suddenly turns around on the steps. The General kneels down and lifts one of Kyungsoo’s feet, brushing off the dirt before he slips on the new shoes. Kyungsoo’s face burns and he can see people looking at them.

“Gen-”

“Call me by my name, they must not know my title,” Jongin interrupts him and Kyungsoo bites his lips.

“J-Jongin please, I am capable of wearing my own shoes,” Kyungsoo insists but Jongin is already brushing off his other foot. Once both shoes are secure on Kyungsoo’s feet, Jongin puts on his own half hazardly and they walk along the streets side by side. Kyungsoo looks around at all of the strange sights but he never strays from Jongin’s side. They reach a paper store and Jongin enters first while Kyungsoo follows. Jongin speaks with the man at the counter about an urgent message that needs to be sent while Kyungsoo passes by the rolls of fabric and looks at the shelves of paper. The paper came in multiple different colours and textures. Some were dyed and some were just weathered with age. However Kyungsoo could smell something sweet and when he follows his nose he sees a pile of papers in the far corner of the bottom shelf. Kyungsoo squats down to take a look and he is in awe at the pink coloured paper etched with pressed flowers. 

“How beautiful,” he whispers to himself but he is afraid to touch, not wanting to be the reason why the paper ripped. Everything seemed so fragile. A shadow is casted over him and he lifts his head, seeing Jongin looking down at him with a raised eyebrow. Kyungsoo smiles sheepishly and he stands up.

“I was admiring the paper. I never learned to read or write,” Kyungsoo admits and Jongin nods his head in acknowledgement. Kyungsoo had grown up in a small town and when he entered the palace it wasn’t as the King’s lost son, it was as a servant. He could not deny his curiosity for words but he never had the means to learn. Not that it really mattered anyways. Kyungsoo wonders how much Jongin knew, he was raised as a soldier but he had to know some basic words right? Kyungsoo didn’t know. 

“The sun is setting and the festivities will begin soon. If we return to the beach now we will still be able to see through the forest. If not, we can stay at the inn tonight. The rates do not change much since people do not visit this town often. Would you like to stay and watch the festival?” Jongin asks. Kyungsoo didn’t know what Jongin’s intentions were, whether or not this was supposed to be a pity day before he was brought to Lord Oh’s palace but he was hesitant. Kyungsoo fiddles with his own fingers and he looks around the town, seeing how it was now bustling with life after what must have been a break before the festival. Kyungsoo looks up at the sky past the burning orange of the sunset and he can see the faint outline of the moon shining. It would look brilliant when the sky grew darker. Kyungsoo wishes to see it, he wishes to enjoy the festival with Jongin by his side.

“I would like to see the festival,” he answers and Jongin smiles at him. His gentle expression makes Kyungsoo’s stomach twirl and his heart pounds in his chest. 

“We will stay then. Let us get a room sorted out first,” Jongin says and he takes a few steps, looking behind him to make sure Kyungsoo is following before he truly takes the lead. Kyungsoo has to walk a little faster than usual to keep up with Jongin’s longer strides but he stays close to the General as well as he can. They arrive at the biggest house in town and they enter through the slide door. Kyungsoo lifts his head once they’re inside and he can see that it’s a quaint place. There isn’t much to see other than a desk at the front and a hallway behind that lead to the rooms presumably. Off to his right he could see the entrance to a bathhouse and that was it. Kyungsoo hoped that the payment for one night would not be too much. 

“Hello, we would like a room for the night,” Jongin greets the older man at the counter and he looks at both of them. Kyungsoo unconsciously hides behind Jongin when the old man’s eyes narrow at him. At this point Kyungsoo hasn’t realized that Jongin did not ask for two rooms but one.

“Fortunately for you two, there is indeed one room left. It will be perfect for a couple like yourselves,” the old man smiles at them warmly and Kyungsoo’s cheeks flush at the assumption. Jongin doesn’t correct him.

“Thank you, we will pay for the room now and return after the festival,” Jongin bows to the man in thanks as he places gold pieces on the counter. Kyungsoo follows suit and the two exit the inn moments later, with Kyungsoo’s head feeling a little dazed. Kyungsoo unconsciously stares at Jongin who has his back to him. This little adventure of theirs, where would it end? Kyungsoo had left his fate in Jongin’s hands, that had been said earlier but what would he do with it. What are these feelings blooming in his chest? It had begun with curiosity but now Kyungsoo didn’t want to be without Jongin. He was afraid that if he let the General out of his sight, he would never see him again. Was it merely friendship? Kyungsoo did not know. Jongin was the General of Northern Feraveth, he would meet a beautiful woman worthy of his love and he would devote himself to her, to their children. There was no place for Kyungsoo in his future.

“You look overwhelmed, shall we relax before the festival?” Jongin calls out to him and Kyungsoo nods his head. Perhaps this was all too much for him to handle right now. Together they pass through the town and enter the forest once more. With Jongin’s assistance Kyungsoo manages to avoid tripping on anything and they find a fallen tree trunk laying in the path. Jongin sits first and Kyungsoo takes a seat beside him, keeping a distance between them. 

“It has been some time since I was in Southern Feraveth. I do not come here often however when I do, I simply do what I need to then leave. This is the first time I have stayed in the town and seen it for what it is,” Jongin says and he tilts his head upwards, his eyes closed as the autumn breeze greets them through the trees. Kyungsoo closes his eyes when the leaves and dust carried in the wind brush across his face and when he opens them again, Jongin is looking at him. 

“I had always thought that the townspeople were miserable.They do not have much because of Lord Oh and his… means of entertainment. However today I can see that they are strong people, thankful and true to what they have been granted,” Jongin reflects to him and he isn’t sure what his face is emoting right now. Kyungsoo had never seen Jongin like this before. He was a different person to the stoic General he had met days ago. Kyungsoo almost wishes he stayed that way, seeing all of these sides of Jongin was messing with his heart.

“May I ask you a question, General Kim?” the way his shoulders tense up at the mention of his title does not go unnoticed by Kyungsoo. Jongin sits up a little straighter and Kyungsoo feels regret for changing the atmosphere between them. 

“Yes you can Kyungsoo,” Jongin answers and Kyungsoo wonders if the use of his name was intentional. 

“You do not act like a man with a decision on his hands. Have you already decided what you will do with me?” Kyungsoo asks and he hates how his voice wavers. Truthfully, he didn’t want to ask. If he could act like everything was okay and that these days could continue on forever, he would have. But he can’t. 

“It has been some time since I was able to simply be as I am. Together as we are, we are not General Kim and Consort Do. We are Kim Jongin and Do Kyungsoo. I wish to stay like this for tonight. Perhaps, this is my way of being selfish,” Jongin answers and Kyungsoo’s eyes widen. There was so much woven into those words, threads of hope that Kyungsoo hesitated to hold onto. 

“I have a duty to my King as his General and I have a duty to Lord Oh as the man in charge of this mission. However, I also have a promise to a friend I must keep and a mission to protect you. I do not wish to send you to what will be your death. I would never be able to forgive myself. I would not be able to sleep at night knowing that it is because of me, you are no longer breathing. Singing. I have crossed a line and now I must learn what comes next,” Jongin explains and Kyungsoo wraps his arms around himself. What line did Jongin cross? Could it be the same line that Kyungsoo was walking along? If he threw himself into Jongin’s open arms, would he catch him? 

“Shall we enjoy the festival? I believe it will begin soon,” Jongin’s voice is warm even as the temperature begins to drop and Kyungsoo takes his outstretched hand, squeezing tightly as he stands up. Their walk back to town is a little slower now that the sun has mostly set and the forest was dark around them. However, Jongin held his hand tightly and did not let go. Kyungsoo squints once the lights of the town greet them once more and he admires the halo around Jongin’s head. They enter the square that was now decorated with a large bonfire in the centre and different sized crates scattered around. There was also a table decorated with what must be the harvests of the month. Not a single area of the table is visible. Kyungsoo follows Jongin towards the edge as a man quiets down the townspeople. 

“Together we gather under the light of our goddess and we thank her for another successful harvest. May the winter be kind to us, have a great night everyone!” an older man announces before everyone claps and the music begins to play. Kyungsoo looks at the strings of lit lanterns and it looks so wonderful. There were children running around as food was handed out but Kyungsoo and Jongin didn't join the line. Opting to leave the square to find food in the stalls littered on the nearby streets. The music in Zelithiel consisted mostly of brass instruments that came from the West. However, the music of Feraveth was made of stringed instruments and drums. The sounds are clear in the night sky and he smiles widely. Jongin holds his wrist again as they pass through a group of people and they decide to walk along the stalls selling different kinds of foods that Kyungsoo hasn’t seen before. 

“What is that Jongin?” Kyungsoo asks as they approach a stall with something steaming on sticks. Kyungsoo tilts his head, not seeing such a thing before. To him it looked like a dried bean curd, dried foods were plentiful in Zelithiel since the weather was unforgiving for the majority of the year. 

“These are steamed fish cakes, it is made from mixing fish and flour together,” Jongin explains and Kyungsoo grimaces immediately at that. It doesn’t sound delightful at all. Jongin smiles and he buys one from the old woman who also hands him a cup of something warm. Kyungsoo holds it carefully and when he peeks at it, he can’t determine what it is. They walk over to the next stall and Kyungsoo can recognize the smell of alcohol. He swallows hard when he sees rice wine and he gently touches Jongin’s shoulder.

“Just not the rice wine please,” he requests and Jongin nods his head. Talking to the vendor with hushed voices before he pays and is given a glass of another mystery liquid. With Kyungsoo holding the fish cakes and warm cup and Jongin holding the alcohol they both take a seat on a nearby bundle of hay. Kyungsoo adjusts himself so that the hay does not poke through the thinner fabric of his robes and Jongin holds the stick of steamed fish cakes for him as he does.

“Here, have it while it is hot,” Jongin urges him to take a bite, holding out the stick towards him. Kyungsoo takes a deep breath and he leans in, eyes locked on Jongin’s as he takes a small bite. He chews slowly and the taste of fish and spices burst in his mouth. He really isn’t a fan of the texture though so he politely refuses when Jongin offers him another bite. 

“Would you like to try some of the broth? It will warm you up,” Jongin offers the steaming cup and Kyungsoo was always the type to try everything at least once so he does as he’s told. Kyungsoo blows on it, watching the steam dissipate into the night sky before he takes a sip. The flavour that explodes in his mouth is remarkable and he shudders at the savoury taste of the broth. It was so full of flavour and it tasted much better than the squidgy cakes, Kyungsoo approved of this. After taking a hearty sip he hands it over to Jongin who exchanges the cup of alcohol with him. 

“It is a mulled wine made with grape, orange and spices. It will keep you warm inside all night,” Jongin explains and Kyungsoo smells the wine before he drinks it. Just from the scent alone it immediately warms him inside and he is thankful to Jongin for keeping his well being in mind. They hadn’t felt the need to spend money on clothes earlier but as the night fell, it grew colder and with his thin robes he felt every chill. Jongin shifts closer to him when another breeze whips past them but Kyungsoo doesn’t notice as he takes a hefty sip of wine. He holds the cup with both hands and shudders as he feels the alcohol go right down to his stomach. Kyungsoo exhales shakily and he smacks his lips together, tasting the warm spices. Everything was so flavourful, Kyungsoo wasn’t used to it. Mulled wine would be immensely enjoyed in Zelithiel as well but then again, he did not know too much about his own Kingdom. 

The music becomes louder and Kyungsoo looks up, seeing how the men and women are now linking arms and dancing around the fire. It looked like a traditional dance and he didn’t know the moves but he wanted to enjoy himself like they did. Kyungsoo doesn’t think twice as he sets the wine down on the ground and he stands up, adjusting his robes slightly before he joins the group. Kyungsoo spins and he allows the alcohol in his blood to grant him some confidence because he laughs and dances the best he can. He isn’t exactly looking at the other dancers right now and he might look like a complete fool but he didn’t care. Like Jongin said, he wanted to enjoy tonight. It could be his last night. What Kyungsoo doesn’t realize is how everyone is completely enamoured with him. The way his robes dance with him and the way his hair flows in the wind, the bright smile on his face complemented by his flushed cheeks and his unknowingly graceful steps were enough to cause anyone to stare.

Kyungsoo joins hands with a little girl and they dance together, their steps clumsy and their laughter plentiful. The harvest moon shines a deep orange above them and Kyungsoo returns her to her parents before he returns to Jongin. Kyungsoo holds out a hand towards him and he grins,

“Will you be my partner?” Kyungsoo requests and he’s a little breathless from his own excitement. Jongin visibly hesitates but he takes Kyungsoo’s hands nonetheless.

“I do not know the steps,” Jongin mumbles as he’s practically dragged towards the town square and Kyungsoo turns to look back at him, hair sticking to the sweat lining his forehead. Yet, he still looked beautiful. 

“Neither do I!” Kyungsoo replies happily and he isn’t aware of how wide his smile is. Jongin’s body is stiff and his movements are clumsy but Kyungsoo holds his hands firmly. When they nearly bump into another couple Kyungsoo can’t help but laugh and the sound is infectious, spreading to Jongin as well. Kyungsoo’s heart lights up when Jongin’s face scrunches up in delight, his eyes forming perfectly imperfect crescents and his teeth flashing at him. Jongin’s smile makes him look like a boy and Kyungsoo can see every detail, his feet unconsciously carrying him closer to the General. Jongin’s arms wrap around his waist and Kyungsoo grins at him, the flicker of the bonfire creating shadows on their faces. Once the music begins to die down, Kyungsoo leads Jongin back to their little hay bundle and the two just look at each other. Suddenly, Jongin points up to the sky and Kyungsoo frowns before he lifts his head.

Surrounding the dazzling harvest moon were hundreds and hundreds of the stars, shining through the darkness of the night sky. Kyungsoo’s mouth opens in awe and his eyes widen when he sees a streak of light across the sky. Confused, he immediately grabs Jongin’s arm, shaking him as he looks up above. 

“Did you see that?” the excitement in Kyungsoo’s face is prevalent and he doesn’t notice how Jongin isn’t looking up at the sky. No, Jongin was looking at Kyungsoo. 

“It is a shooting star, it is said if you wish on a shooting star then your wish will come true,” Jongin says quietly and Kyungsoo’s grip falters, letting go of Jongin’s arm when it does. 

“Shall we retire for the evening?” Kyungsoo whispers and Jongin seems reluctant to but he agrees. They gather their cups and return each to the respective vendor before they return to the inn. There’s an odd feeling caught up between them but Kyungsoo isn’t sure he’s strong enough to face it. They both greet the old man at the counter who gestures to their room near the end of the hallway. Jongin opens the door and allows Kyungsoo to enter first before he follows after. Kyungsoo’s eyes linger on the single bed and he turns to look at Jongin.

“I will sleep on the floor, do not worry,” Jongin says as he closes the door behind him. Kyungsoo debates on asking the innkeeper for another futon but he doesn’t.

“Nonsense, the futon is large enough for the both of us. Come, sit with me,” Kyungsoo insists and doesn’t give a chance for Jongin to refuse when he takes the General’s hand and leads him to the laid out futon. They both settle down and the dim lighting coming from the lamp in the corner of the room made the silence feel more intimate. They both turn away and begin removing their outer robes and Kyungsoo moves further up the futon, sitting cross legged before Jongin who faces him. To his surprise, Jongin speaks first.

“What did you wish for?” he asks and Kyungsoo looks down at his hands. The magic of the night was beginning to vanish and even though Kyungsoo wanted to hold onto it a little longer, he couldn’t. The alcohol was no longer hot in his blood and things were cold again, distance between the two of them. Kyungsoo knew it was his own fault.

“I… did not wish for anything. They do not come true,” Kyungsoo answers though his words do not hold much truth. There were a number of things he had wished for, but he didn’t have the courage to say what they were. A wish that the night would not end. A wish that he could keep Jongin by his side. A wish that these feelings of his were not merely his own. A wish that they could run away and never see Lord Oh’s palace again. They were all wishes he himself did not have the power to grant, but maybe just maybe, even if he did not believe, the Moon goddess would hear him. 

“That is not true. You wished to be selfish and we stayed for the festival did we not? Your choices influence the success of your own wishes Kyungsoo,” Jongin says and Kyungsoo meets his eyes. He cannot say he is convinced.

“What did you wish for?” he asks and Jongin looks directly into his eyes. Kyungsoo would never be able to understand Jongin’s honesty. They were polar opposites in every way. Kyungsoo faced life with his eyes glued to the ground whereas Jongin approached life with his head straight, eyes forward. His nose was not to the sky nor was his head in the clouds, he was level headed in all ways. Whereas Kyungsoo was hesitant and took the longer path hidden by shadows if it meant he lived his life quietly. Though that was what led him here.

“I… wished that I could take you away from here. That things could be different. I wish that I was allowed to- that we could be,” for once Jongin seems hesitant and Kyungsoo’s breath hitches.

“What do you wish we could be?” Kyungsoo whispers and he shuffles closer to Jongin, their knees knocking together when he does. 

“I feel for you how I have not felt for anyone. If I could grant my own wishes we would be-”

“General Kim, have we not realized? Wishes do not mean a thing. Fate is cruel and she spares no one,” Kyungsoo whispers and Jongin isn’t pleased with his answer. 

“I leave my fate in your hands. I will not interfere. I am… tired. You were but another dream that will leave me,” Kyungsoo gently places his hand on Jongin’s cheek. The General lifts his head and looks into Kyungsoo’s eyes, displaying his disapproval for such words.

“I will not allow you to give up. I cannot fight for you if you do not fight for yourself Kyungsoo,” Jongin replies and Kyungsoo is visibly taken aback. He removes his hand from Jongin’s cheek but the General holds his hand there, squeezing his fingers a little too tightly.

“What more can we do Jongin?! We have no choice! You are the General of Northern Feraveth and I am nothing,” Kyungsoo cries, the exhaustion in his voice prominent. Jongin holds his hand and reaches with his other, holding the nape of Kyungsoo’s neck before he pulls him closer. Their lips touch and Kyungsoo stiffens at the contact. Jongin pulls away and he is showing more emotion than Kyungsoo has seen before. He looks frustrated.

“Us, we will fight for us,” Jongin replies earnestly, not an ounce of doubt in his voice. Kyungsoo’s tears fall and he seals their lips once more. The feeling was completely foreign to the both of them but it felt so perfect in that moment. Their lips connect again, and again, their hands unable to pull away from each other. Kyungsoo gasps when Jongin kisses his neck.

“I am the bastard son of the King, who would fight for me?” Kyungsoo says through his heavy breaths and Jongin kisses him again.

“I will,” he says firmly as their eyes meet and Kyungsoo falls back into the lumpy futon, pulling Jongin with him.

“You are a cruel man General Kim.”


	4. The Sun & The Moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING/SPOILERS:  
> Very intimate sex scene  
> Virgins!KaiSoo, top!Jongin  
> There is a conversation in here of what makes up a human and I drew inspo from Lee Hi's 'Am I Strange?" I do not think having less than what is mentioned does not make you human, this was just the context for these two in particular. I just wanted to make that clear!  
> Non con, ripping of clothes and mentions of rape (THERE IS NO RAPE but there is talk of it)  
> Battle, blood, major and minor character death

Jongin had never been very good at expressing his emotions. He’d been overwhelmed by them for as long as he could remember. It was no secret that he was not related to the previous General by blood, a fact that his adoptive father never lied to him about. One of his earliest memories was of his father telling him that he was not truly his father and that he was left at the palace gates when he was a baby. Naturally, Jongin began to wonder if something was wrong with him. If there was a reason why his mother wasn’t by his side, wasn’t here loving and raising him as her own. The General had reassured him that these feelings he had were valid and that his questions deserved answers, but those answers would be something he’d have to come up with on his own. At some point in his childhood, Jongin had decided to completely disregard those feelings and questions. He began to rebel against his adoptive father.

Cruel words left his mouth, some things he had never even recalled thinking. Things that he was still apologetic for today, many years later. His father had always been patient with him and not once did he ever force Jongin to feel grateful towards him for raising him. He never expected anything from Jongin, allowing him to live his own life under the shelter of his father. When Jongin grew older and he realized the weight that came with making decisions and how it must’ve been for his mother and his adoptive father, he came to his own. He decided that he was going to become the next General. He would be the one to take over the position and allow his father to rest without worry. His days of outbursts and shenanigans with Sehun were over, they had responsibilities now and they could no longer sneak away from the palace as they did in their youth. Ironically enough, they were old enough to make their own decisions yet, it was now that their own free will was under scrutiny and that following orders was what was expected of them.

Jongin decided in that moment, that he would continue to follow orders as he was told and that his own feelings would only hinder his new responsibilities. And so he listened to them less and less. He functioned solely on his thoughts and what he knew was right, not what he felt was right. Jongin had numerous people depending on him, the King of his Kingdom, the Crowned Prince and his closest friend, his soldiers, his father and now… Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo had come into his life like a gust of wind, uncontrollable and inescapable for he was now completely surrounded by him. His scent, his touch, everything that made who he was. Jongin had little interest in companionship, relationships even, he had no time for that and he had… no feelings devoted to that. The only companion he truly had was Sehun and the devotion he had was to his King. However, Jongin would be a fool to ignore how he had felt when he first laid eyes on Kyungsoo. 

Everything about Kyungsoo’s arrival had been a surprise. From the moment the carriage from Zelithiel had arrived without his knowledge and how they continued to encounter one another in the garden between his personal pavilion and the guest pavilion. Jongin was not naive enough to believe that what he felt towards Kyungsoo was love or even infatuation. But what he had felt was curiosity and he was mesmerized by his every moment. When he thought he was a woman and now that he was aware Kyungsoo is actually a man. Truthfully, he thought that he would feel more about knowing the truth. Anger, disgust, confusion, betrayal. There were a number of things on his mind when he learned the truth but none of those feelings came to light. Instead, he felt a sense of dread and a strong sense of determination. There was an innate yearning to protect Kyungsoo. 

The initial days after he had been injured were a complete blur. He was in pain and he was not thinking straight however, he could recall every word uttered from Kyungsoo’s lips, every expression on his face. The utter fear of rejection, the utter fear that he was now seen for who he was. Jongin could not comfort him with words, he wasn’t well equipped to do so and he hoped that his feigned nonchalance could be taken as acceptance. Again, he was wrong. Kyungsoo seemed worried, constantly. There was never a moment when the furrow between his brows wasn’t there, thoughts engaging his mind as he worried and worried. Jongin wanted to say more, talk to him but… he did not know how. With his body so fragile and in the sole care of Kyungsoo who stayed by his side and nursed him back to health he could not bear his heart to him. 

Kyungsoo had given up his fate to Jongin, the choices that would seize his own fate were now in another man’s hands. It was not a simple matter of what would be best for Kyungsoo or what would make him happy. As much as Jongin would like to do so, there were just so many things that had limited him before and would continue to limit him now. When Jongin looked at Kyungsoo before, he had seen a woman who had been struck with misfortune, a life serving a selfish man. Kyungsoo had been reserved and concealed behind her mask, willing to follow orders because there was nothing else she could do. When Jongin looked at Kyungsoo now however. He saw something different. Earlier today, when they had been at the river there was a moment where Kyungsoo wished to be alone. He did not say it out loud but Jongin could tell, from the way Kyungsoo’s eyes did not focus when they met his own. The moment when he decided to bathe in the river.

Jongin had seen Kyungsoo in a number of ways before. The brooding Consort chained to a fate she did not want. The curious Consort who gazed at him through the carriage window. The mischievous and childlike Consort who stole another’s wish so that she could make her own. The vulnerable and frightened Consort who had reached for him instead of running for her own life. The man who had been exposed but stayed by his side to care for his wounds even if he knew that Jongin had the power to condemn him for his so-called crimes. The man who showed his fears and told him of his hard upbringing. The man who did not blame anyone but himself for where he was today. But Jongin had never seen Kyungsoo like this before. 

In the river, Kyungsoo seemed so small and so far away from him. The way he shrunk into himself was evident and he must have been reflecting the whole time. Jongin watched as he looked at his hands, how he took deep breaths and how he just stared into the distance. It was clear that Kyungsoo was afraid to make his own choices. He was on his own in this world and he was the only one going against the current. Jongin knew this and he knew that Kyungsoo was willing to allow Jongin the choice because he simply did not want to make it. Jongin wondered if Kyungsoo was aware of it but he had been speaking to him without words. The fear and uncertainty in his eyes were enough to tell Jongin how he truly felt about all of this. Kyungsoo was no fool and he knew that Jongin had responsibilities on his shoulders, a duty to his King and a mission to his King’s brother. 

They were both in a hard place and the choice was not easy to make for either of them. Jongin could not hide his emotions in front of Kyungsoo, he’d spent the majority of his life hiding away from them but when it came to Kyungsoo, nothing remained behind closed doors. The floodgates had opened and his own judgement was clouded. Jongin was facing his own selfishness. He was facing his human emotions that had never gotten in his way like this since he had locked them away. But whenever he held Kyungsoo’s hand to keep him close, to keep him from falling, he felt too much. When Kyungsoo danced without a care in the world, Jongin had never seen anything more beautiful in his life. It was a smile he had never seen on Kyungsoo’s face but he wanted to protect it, keep it safe for a day he could see it again. Kyungsoo had admitted to him that he was afraid and Jongin was as well, afraid that he would not see Kyungsoo again. That he would not hear Kyungsoo sing again. 

With Kyungsoo sitting so close to him, he hadn’t been able to control the need to get even closer. Kyungsoo had a wall around his heart that had been steadily chipping away, allowing Jongin a glimpse of what was truly there. Kyungsoo lies beneath him, his hair fanned out on the futon below in something like a halo. His eyes are wet with tears and he is only looking at Jongin. His lips are plump, slightly pinker due to the kisses they shared. Jongin wanted more. Never before had he yearned for another person like this before, no women and no men. It was only Kyungsoo. Beneath him, Jongin did not see a man or a woman, he simply saw Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo who was beautiful and true. Kyungsoo who lived his life toeing lines and never crossing them even if it would give him happiness or freedom. Jongin places a hand on Kyungsoo’s cheek and he exhales shakily. Kyungsoo was so alive, warm and soft, he would never want to see him any other way. 

“May I kiss you, Kyungsoo?” Jongin asks and Kyungsoo’s eyes widen at the question before his cheeks lift and his lips reveal his teeth. A deep laughter escapes from his belly and Jongin wants to cherish this image forever. 

“You have already kissed me General. I will give you all that you desire from me,” Kyungsoo whispers and he places his hands on Jongin’s face, pulling him down until their lips meet again. Jongin closes his eyes and he pushes into the feeling, a fire igniting in his lower abdomen. Kyungsoo’s lips are chapped yet still plush, touching his own and Jongin felt delight from the feeling alone. He had not kissed another before and he never truly understood the joy of such an action but with Kyungsoo, everything felt right. Their lips continue to meet and part, only to meet again at a different angle and Jongin rests his right arm next to Kyungsoo’s head, their legs tangled as he presses their bodies together. Their inner robes are thin and so they can feel the heat of each other's skin through the fabric, but it wasn’t enough. The desire to get even closer, to become one was devouring them both as their kisses grew more needy. 

“I have not lain with another before,” Kyungsoo admits when Jongin begins to pepper kisses along his cheek and his jaw. His head lifts as Jongin licks the skin on his neck and he grips the General’s shoulders in surprise, gasping at the feeling. Jongin pulls away to gauge Kyungsoo’s expression and he sees insecurity but willingness. That was all he needed to continue. 

“I have also not lain with another, if you should ever wish for us to stop. Tell me right away. Do not submit and allow me to do as I please. I wish to please both of us,” Jongin says quietly and Kyungsoo kisses his cheek in confirmation but that wasn’t enough.

“Words Kyungsoo, say it to me,” Jongin urges and he sits up, kneeling above Kyungsoo who slowly rises as well. Kyungsoo pulls Jongin into his arms and he kisses the line of his jaw.

“Yes General, I will tell you to stop if needed,” Kyungsoo states clearly and Jongin looks into his eyes before he moves forward to kiss him deeply. In his haste however their noses bump into each other and Kyungsoo laughs lightly, the sound soft in the night air. Jongin laughs along and he places his hands on either side of Kyungsoo’s face, running the pads of his thumbs along the curve of his cheeks. This time he tilts his head slightly and he presses into another kiss, Kyungsoo exhaling deeply as their lips meet properly this time. When Kyungsoo pulls back to gasp for air Jongin pulls him right back in and their teeth clash. Jongin’s tongue reaches out to ease the ache just as Kyungsoo’s does and when their tongues touch they both moan at the feeling. The pull away is almost instant, both of their eyes darting to ensure that no one was hurt and when they saw the flush of their own cheeks, they met again, tongues dancing together. 

“I want to feel your skin,” Kyungsoo whispers as they both inhale as much air as their lungs can hold and Jongin begins to remove his robes but Kyungsoo stops him. His hands are gentle as he tugs at Jongin’s inner robes, pulling them away to reveal his golden skin. Jongin doesn’t look away from him and this time Kyungsoo meets his eyes. There’s a small smile on his face as he disrobes him and drops the clothing off of the futon. Jongin shivers as the night autumn air seeping through the thin walls of the inn chills his exposed skin but Kyungsoo’s hands are warm when they trace the lines on his torso. The lines of his collarbones and the small divot in his shoulder, down to his arms and along his chest, brushing his nipples and resting on his abdominal muscles. 

“You have spent countless days underneath the sun, you glow with its warmth,” Jongin watches the way Kyungsoo looks at their bodies, how he compares their differing skin tones and the tone of their muscles. Kyungsoo looks beautiful in his arms and he didn’t want him anywhere else. Jongin removes Kyungsoo’s robes and they both bare their naked bodies to one another, the dim lamp in the corner leaving much to be desired. Kyungsoo’s breath hitches as he is exposed and Jongin lays him down on the futon once more, looking at every curve of his body. Kyungsoo tries to hide himself, cheeks burning at the intimate gaze but Jongin holds his hands back, intertwining their fingers. 

“I believe you are more beautiful than the moon goddess herself,” Jongin breathes and Kyungsoo laughs at his compliment.

“If I overcome her beauty then you must be more alluring than the sun god himself,” Kyungsoo says and Jongin leans down to kiss him, his heart swelling with adoration for the person beneath him. Jongin reluctantly parts from Kyungsoo’s lips to trail kisses down his body, along his pale skin. Jongin notices that Kyungsoo’s pale skin was graced with a plethora of moles, dotting his skin like the stars in the night sky. He follows each one, kissing along every mark until he reaches Kyungsoo’s thighs. He gently pries them apart and he presses open kisses along the inside of his thighs, arousal burning hotter when he hears the little sounds escaping Kyungsoo’s lips. When he sees the way his thighs tremble at the pleasure. Jongin finally faces Kyungsoo’s penis and he sees the way it lays hard on his stomach, leaking at the head. Truthfully, he did not know how he would feel seeing another man’s genitals but the desire burning inside of him only burned stronger. 

Jongin takes Kyungsoo’s penis into his hand and he gently kisses along the shaft’s veins, licking the heated skin as Kyungsoo’s moans sing to him. He takes the leaking head into his mouth and he suckles on it gently, the taste foreign but not disgusting to him. If it meant he could see more of Kyungsoo’s pleading expression he would taste his precum every day. Kyungsoo’s hands shoot out to his head and grip his hair, pulling him away. 

“I-I was close, please Jongin, become one with me,” Kyungsoo whispers and Jongin obeys him. He lifts Kyungsoo’s legs and sees that his anus is tight and if he were to enter now, then Kyungsoo would be in pain. Jongin looks around for something he can use and Kyungsoo hands him a small vial of what looked like scented oil. 

“The innkeeper gave it to me,” Kyungsoo explains with a sheepish smile and Jongin kisses him before pushing him back into the bed. Kyungsoo lies down with his legs spread and Jongin pours the oil onto his fingers, his nose twitching at the smell of flowers, a scene he did not recognize. Jongin coats his fingers thoroughly and he presses his index finger at Kyungsoo’s entrance, gently running the pad of his finger along the wrinkled skin before he pushes it inside. Kyungsoo tenses up at the intrusion and his hand shoots out, grabbing Jongin’s free hand that was holding his legs open. Jongin pushes his finger in further and Kyungsoo only tenses up further, he kisses his hand to relax him.

“Relax for me Kyungsoo, or I will not be able to stretch you,” Jongin says in a low voice and Kyungsoo shudders, his eyes closed as he slowly begins to ease up around Jongin’s sheathed finger. It continues like this for a moment, Jongin adds fingers slowly and waits for Kyungsoo to adjust before he repeats. It was erotic, seeing Kyungsoo’s entrance stretched around his fingers, the obscene squelch of oil in his ears. He cannot imagine what it will feel like around his penis, how it feels when he enters Kyungsoo himself. Kyungsoo places a hand on his cheek and Jongin stills, afraid that he hurt him. Instead he sees Kyungsoo’s flushed face, his lips parted and slightly red from the kisses and from when he bit his own lip.

“Please, I am ready for us to become one,” Kyungsoo whispers and Jongin kisses him when he removes his fingers, watching Kyungsoo’s slightly gaping orifice flutter around nothing. Jongin sits back and he coats his penis in oil, the relief from his own touch making him realize that he’d completely ignored his own needs when he had been taking care of Kyungsoo. Jongin presses the head of his penis against Kyungsoo’s anus and he closes his eyes as he begins to push himself inside. Kyungsoo gasps at the feeling and his arms reach for Jongin, one hand on his cheek and another on his shoulder. Jongin opens his eyes and he meets Kyungsoo’s, their eyes locked as he slowly pushes himself inside until he is buried to the hilt. They both moan at the overwhelming feeling and Jongin already feels close just from Kyungsoo’s heat around him. 

“We are one,” Jongin says onto Kyungsoo’s lips and he can feel Kyungsoo’s smile. They kiss slowly as Kyungsoo adjusts to Jongin’s girth inside of him and when Jongin pulls back for air Kyungsoo unconsciously follows him. His eyes closed and his lips waiting for more. His eyes open when he doesn’t reach Jongin’s lips and he grows embarrassed by his own eagerness. Jongin laughs softly at him and rewards him with the kiss he wanted. For a moment they simply lie there, connected. Kyungsoo’s plush thighs cage Jongin’s side and there is not an inch of their skin that is not touching. Their eyes were only looking at each other in this intimacy and Jongin’s heart pounds wildly in his chest. Kyungsoo clenches around him and urges him to move and Jongin carefully pulls out before he thrusts back inside, both of them groaning at the new sensation that was intercourse. 

“Again,” Kyungsoo gasps and Jongin continues to thrust in and out of Kyungsoo, his brows furrowed as he concentrates on not releasing so soon. He changes his angle slightly and Kyungsoo’s eyes open, his head tilting back as a guttural moan erupts from within him. Jongin is almost afraid that he’d hurt him somehow but Kyungsoo begins to cry from pleasure.

“T-that spot Jongin,” he moans and Jongin aims for that same spot each time. Kyungsoo’s moans grow louder and Jongin can feel him clenching around him. Tears begin to leak from Kyungsoo’s eyes and Jongin holds Kyungsoo’s penis, stroking it in time with his thrusts. Kyungsoo’s arms wrap around Jongin as he reaches his peak and with a whimper of Jongin’s name he releases onto his abdomen, streaks of white shooting onto Jongin’s hand as he continues to stroke until nothing is left. When Kyungsoo reaches his peak he jerks on Jongin’s penis causing him to reach his own peak, painting Kyungsoo’s insides white. Jongin slumps onto Kyungsoo in exhaustion and he smiles when Kyungsoo’s fingers run through his hair. 

“My sun,” Kyungsoo kisses his temple and Jongin melts at the feeling.

“My moon,” he replies before he pulls out and holds Kyungsoo close to his side. Their eyes falling closed as they meet again in their dreams.

Once the sun rises and wakes them from their slumber, Jongin is the first to open his eyes. Kyungsoo, who is resting his head on his chest makes no movement to awaken and Jongin smiles, holding him closer so that he can enjoy the moment they have together. Last night had been passionate yet desperate at the same time. A plea of two desperate people who were running out of time. A grasp of what could be and a dream for them to live with for the rest of their lives. If they had any time left that is. Jongin strokes Kyungsoo’s matted hair and he sighs, squinting as the sun shines directly into his eyes. He doesn’t risk moving however because Kyungsoo is so comfortable on his chest and he doesn’t want to wake him. Jongin tilts his head back in an attempt to escape the sun and a shadow is casted over his face, he opens his eyes and sees Kyungsoo’s hand raised above his face. Jongin holds his hand and kisses his palm to which Kyungsoo giggles.

“That tickles,” he whispers and Jongin turns to him, seeing his bright eyes and smile. Jongin grins and he closes his eyes again, wrapping his arms and legs around Kyungsoo’s smaller frame. Kyungsoo squeaks at the sudden weight and he tries to wriggle free but Jongin was much more toned than he was. Jongin opens his eyes after a moment and he stares at Kyungsoo, wondering how he could look so beautiful just after waking. Kyungsoo lifts his hand and he gently brushes the crust from Jongin’s eyes, an adoring smile on his lips.

“For one so blessed by the sun, you shun it away,” Kyungsoo whispers and Jongin laughs at that. If he was blessed by the sun like Kyungsoo thought then he wouldn’t have to hide from it. His smile slowly fades and he continues to look at Kyungsoo, who’s eyebrows begin to furrow as he silently wonders what was wrong. Jongin wanted to lay here forever, truly, but reality was waiting for them outside of these thin walls that would not hold for much longer. Jongin reaches forward and Kyungsoo allows him to slowly trace his features, memorizing the way his face is sculpted.

“Seeing you this way… content, warm, _alive_ , I do not want to see you any other way,” Jongin admits and the fear returns to Kyungsoo’s eyes. The moment between them begins to crumble and Kyungsoo tries to run away, hiding himself in a veil of shadows once more. However, Jongin won’t allow it and when Kyungsoo sits up to turn away, Jongin takes hold of his wrist and gently pulls him back. Kyungsoo loses his balance and he nearly falls, hovering over Jongin with wide eyes and his arm supporting him above the General’s head. This time Kyungsoo doesn’t have the courage to meet his eyes and Jongin reaches upwards, his hand resting against the nape of Kyungsoo’s neck before he pulls him down. Kyungsoo doesn’t fight it and he lets go, his head dropping on Jongin’s chest. Their fingers interlock as Kyungsoo’s eyelids fall closed, calmed by the sound of Jongin’s heartbeat. 

“I have considered many routes we can take, to keep you here with me,” Jongin says quietly and Kyungsoo tenses up in his arms. He begins to stroke his hair again, moving the long locks out of the way in case they move. 

“I have too,” Kyungsoo confesses and Jongin feels a hint of ease in his heart, knowing that Kyungsoo feels the same way about him about them. Jongin closes his eyes and he runs over the possibilities in his head. He thinks about how he should properly convey them with words. A small smile spreads on his lips when he remembers Sehun. The Crowned Prince and his closest friend who probably would not recognize him as he is now. Jongin never had a reason to go against his orders, nor did he ever consider doing so. But as he is now, he cannot devote himself fully to his duty to the King knowing that someone will die. That someone being, Do Kyungsoo who was very much alive in his arms. 

“I have thought of living out in the countryside with you, we can start a farm and live quietly. Or I have even thought of running to the other two Kingdoms to find somewhere we can live together,” Jongin closes his eyes as he begins to imagine the lush gardens of Aralicia or the warm beaches of Praline. Feraveth was all he has ever known but for Kyungsoo, he would travel elsewhere to find a new home. But that was not possible. In his mind Jongin could see a life with Kyungsoo someplace else but on the other hand he could see Sehun, the King, Yerim Baekhyun, Chanyeol… Minseok. The people he would be leaving behind. His father. All that he had relied on to guide him where he was, filling in the gap that would surely be left with his disappearance. 

“You have people who will care if you disappear. I have no one. I could not possibly allow you to make such a sacrifice for me General. No one will miss me if I am gone,” Kyungsoo says and his tone wavers. Though it is clear he has accepted that fact, it still hurts him to say it out loud. Jongin purses his lips, thinking about Kyungsoo’s childhood and upbringing, how lonely it must have been. 

“I will miss you if you are gone. Now that you have coloured my days, I cannot imagine a life without you in it,” Jongin says and Kyungsoo lifts himself up, glaring into the General’s eyes.

“Do not lie to me General. You and I both know what your life will look like without me. It will be the same as it has always been. Without me, you will return to your palace, you will live your days protecting the King and one day you will find a woman who steals your heart and she will bear your children. She will give you a future you cannot have with me. I am a man, you are a man, there can be no us,” Kyungsoo speaks without looking into Jongin’s eyes, feeling the pain of his own words. 

“How can she steal my heart if it already belongs to you?” Jongin asks and Kyungsoo grows more frustrated.

“ _How_ can you say that? We have known each other for days. Most of those days were spent without you truly knowing who I was. We both know, it is wrong for a man to love another man. Love, can what we have even be called so?” tears fill Kyungsoo’s eyes and Jongin wishes that such sorrow would leave him. Whatever it is between them, it could not be called love, they were not naive to believe so. However, they would be fools to deny whatever it was they felt. Or maybe… they would be smart to steer clear of these unsure feelings. Maybe they were fools. Fools in love. 

“I will be honest with you Kyungsoo. I never considered being with a man. It… is not something natural in our society. However, why is it wrong? Have we ever thought about that?” Jongin asks and Kyungsoo doesn’t reply, his lip caught between his teeth as he holds in his tears. Jongin sits up and Kyungsoo follows suit until they are sitting cross legged across from each other like last night. Jongin holds Kyungsoo’s hands and they both look down at them.

“Ten fingers, ten toes, two arms, two legs,” Jongin begins and he gently caresses Kyungsoo’s blushing cheek.

“Blood is flowing, two eyes and two ears,” he kisses each of Kyungsoo’s eyelids and pinches his ears. 

“One head, one heart. Are we not the same? What is so strange about us? About you? We are not loving animals, we are not a person and an animal. We are both humans, loving and wanting one another, is that wrong?” Jongin asks and Kyungsoo can’t argue with him. Jongin holds his hands again and they’re both silent. Jongin looks up at Kyungsoo before he looks back down at their joined hands and he sighs. As easy as it was to make a declaration, truly living together in love would not be easy nor would it ever be accepted. Jongin would be kicked out of the palace if he returned home with Kyungsoo and he would never be able to face his father again. The King would send another commander to bring Kyungsoo right to Lord Oh’s clutches. Jongin does not understand his King, how could you allow someone such a fate when you have the power to stop it? And then Jongin remembers Sehun’s last words to him.

 _“Most importantly, stay true to me. Your dearest friend,”_ Sehun would never allow Kyungsoo to be sent to what was his death. Sehun would tell him to save Kyungsoo and to do what he knew was right. Handing Kyungsoo over to Lord Oh was not what was right. But what was right? Hiding away until Lord Oh somehow forgot about Kyungsoo? Jongin hiding within his own Kingdom? Nothing would change then, this reign Lord Oh had without any true power would never cease. Jongin recalls, what did Lord Oh know of the mission? And what had happened? It has not been many days since the accident and Chanyeol and Baekhyun had taken Joohyun back in the direction of Northern Feraveth. Jongin had told them to report to Sehun that they had been attacked by bandits. No one actually knew whether or not they were still alive. Jongin’s eyes widen at this realization and Kyungsoo scoots closer, wanting to hear his thoughts. 

“Lord Oh does not know that we survived an ambush. Lord Oh does not know that we were ambushed! I will go report to him, feigning your death so that you may be free of him! He will not know and when I return, I will take you back to Northern Feraveth. The Crowned Prince, he will help us,” Jongin says in a hushed voice and he holds Kyungsoo’s hands in his excitement. Kyungsoo’s eyes are wide as he processes Jongin’s words and they widen further as he realizes that it might just work. It was clearly no surprise that ambushes happened often on the mountain pass and Jongin’s entourage was not prone to such things. Lord Oh would have no Consort but with the news of Kyungsoo being dead, then peace would remain between Southern Feraveth and Zelithiel. No one would look for Kyungsoo because he had not run away, he will be pronounced dead. 

“They will not look for my body in the river and they cannot condemn you for something you had no control over. Your injuries, you were unable to protect me,” Kyungsoo continues and Jongin nods at him. They both clasp each other’s hands tighter and Kyungsoo leans in to kiss Jongin on the lips, deeply. Relief overcomes both of them and they cannot hear the creak of the floorboards outside of their door. Kyungsoo’s tears finally fall and his body shakes as he holds onto Jongin. They embrace and their bare skin touches, their hearts pounding through one another. 

“I was afraid you would let me go, that I would die in that vile man’s arms but I had already sealed my fate by placing it in your hands,” Kyungsoo reveals his fears and Jongin cannot say he was not already aware of them. Throughout Kyungsoo’s life he has been afraid to take responsibility for making his own decisions and what comes afterwards and so he simply allowed things to happen. He hadn’t fought and he hadn’t tried to escape, he merely allowed people to choose for him. But when he decided to stay in town and he danced with Jongin, it was his own way of choosing what he felt was right. What he hoped would be conveyed to Jongin who now had his choice. 

“I will venture to Lord Oh’s palace on my own and I will make the announcement to him. I will not accept an offer to stay nor will I accept any offers for food or drink. I will return to you as soon as possible and we will return to the Northern palace,” Jongin reiterates and Kyungsoo nods his head. They both felt dread over being separated but it would only be for a moment. Jongin kisses Kyungsoo again and he reaches forward to grab one of his robes, draping them over Kyungsoo’s form without dressing him. Kyungsoo smiles and he does the same, his eyes low as his fingers brush over his scabbed wounds. 

“Do not get hurt, return to me unscathed,” Kyungsoo whispers and Jongin clears his throat.

“I promise I will,” Kyungsoo seems content with his reply and Jongin moves Kyungsoo’s long hair aside when he begins to tie his robes.

“Stay in this room. Do not step outside and do not let anyone inside unless it is me. I will feel more comfortable if you remain here as opposed to in the forest or on the beach. Being in town would be too risky as well,” Jongin mutters and Kyungsoo licks his chapped lips before he and Jongin stand. Their eyes are shy in the sight of their bare bodies but they do not stare at one another, quietly dressing in their own appropriate clothing while avoiding eye contact. 

“I promise that I will remain here until you return for me,” Kyungsoo says and Jongin kisses his forehead. As Jongin begins to put on his outer robes he feels Kyungsoo’s grip on his forearm, he turns and he sees that Kyungsoo was already in his pink robes again, the colour complementing his skin tone wonderfully. The soft pink tones unlike the red and purple marks on his neck. Jongin hadn’t gotten a good look at them earlier, he did not recall making such vulgar and visible marks. Kyungsoo’s grip tightens and Jongin’s distracted mind returns, seeing the uncertainty in those bright brown eyes.

“What can I do to ease this fear that I will not see you again?” Kyungsoo’s voice shakes and Jongin carefully removes Kyungsoo’s grip on his arm, squeezing his hand in a reassuring manner before he lets go. 

“The sooner I go, the sooner I can return. Do not worry,” Jongin says earnestly and he puts on the rest of his outer robes before he gives Kyungsoo one last kiss, pulling away slowly before he turns and leaves the room. The thought of leaving Kyungsoo alone did not bode well with him but taking him along or having him hide out somewhere wasn’t very plausible either. Jongin pays the innkeeper for another night just in case and he exits the inn, raising his arm to block the sun rays facing him as soon as he does. Jongin steps out into the street and he looks up at the palace in the far distance, walking there would take much too long. Jongin overhears some men over to his left and he sees a cart filled with jugs of milk, he approaches quietly and greets them.

“Good day sirs, are you heading towards the palace? May I hitch a ride with you?” Jongin asks as he holds his little pouch of gold coins, of course not all of them were in there. The men look at one another before the one on the cart shrugs, holding open his hand.

“What business do you have at the palace? You do not seem like the type to live in this town here. It will be 5 gold coins for a ride there, I will not take you back,” the man’s voice is gruff as though he spends every waking minute chewing tobacco and Jongin nods his head. He places the coins into the older man’s hand before he grabs it and is helped onto the cart. The other man who had been watching all the while, moves to the front to steer the horse pulling the cart. Jongin gets comfortable and he helps the older man hold onto the jugs so that they don’t move about. 

“I have an inside job with Lord Oh, I merely need to make a report,” Jongin shrugs, acting nonchalant all the while. The men seem to take that as an answer and they don’t say anything else as they slowly begin to climb the long pathway up to the palace. The palace in Northern Feraveth also sat above the nearest town, it was a way to care for the townspeople but when it came to Southern Feraveth the palace looked daunting rather than inviting. Jongin doesn’t know too many of the details regarding the separation of Feraveth into North and South but he did know that Sehun once told him of how his uncle challenged his father for the throne. In order to avoid any bloodshed, the King agreed to his brother’s conditions of having his own Kingdom within the Kingdom. The people of Feraveth suffered because of this divide and Lord Oh was not fit to be anything like a King. 

“We have arrived young man, do as you will,” the men drop him off at the front gate before they slowly make their way to the servants’ passage. Jongin stares at the guards standing out front and he takes a deep breath before he approaches with his hands in the air. Both men point their swords at him and their stances are hostile. 

“At ease men, I am General Kim Jongin of Northern Feraveth, I bear news for Lord Oh,” Jongin says and he lifts the sleeve of his shirt, showing the branding inside. There was a patch sewn into the inside of his sleeve, with the emblem of the King inside. The men immediately drop their weapons and they bow towards him.

“General Kim! We have been expecting you… and much more. You seem to have arrived alone,” the man on his right says with uncertainty and Jongin sighs.

“I have news for Lord Oh, please allow me to deliver it,” Jongin says with a heavy heart and it’s true. It’s been days since he thought of the accident, one that occurred so suddenly. He remembers Seulgi, Sooyoung and Jongdae every day. Granted he has been distracted as of late, he would give them proper ceremonies when he returned. He would have to ask Kyungsoo how the people of Zelithiel sent off their dead. The two guards mumble something to each other and they step back before thumping their spears against the ground. The iron gate behind them slowly begins to lift and Jongin takes a deep breath hoping that this will all go smoothly. He had met Lord Oh on a number of occasions and the man did not seem gullible or anything other than conniving but he would have to make due. Jongin bows at the guards before he steps forward, glancing up at the iron gates that hung so threateningly above him as he walked beneath them. As he reaches the palace doors he hears the creak of the gates once more, thudding loudly as they close.

“I will escort you to the throne room,” a man to his left who is dressed in what looked like foreign clothing says to him and he nods before he follows. The interior is as impressive as the exterior, the walls high and lined with portraits and tapestries along them. Jongin sees that all of the portraits are of Lord Oh himself, alone. He had no family to be painted with and every request from the King to have a portrait done with him and his son Sehun were always rejected. Just from seeing the walls and plush carpet beneath his feet, Jongin would assume he was in a different Kingdom entirely. It feels so foreign from the town he had just arrived from. The large doors before him are pushed forward and he squints as he enters a bright room with high arched windows. The room itself was an imposing sight, large enough to hold formal events but also… not fit for a Lord. It was more fit for a King.

“General Kim! I would shake you warmly by the hand had you not come… empty handed,” Lord Oh greets him from his throne and Jongin bows deeply at him, but he does not go down on his knees. This man was not his King. Jongin keeps his eyes to the floor and he ignores the women scantily dressed by Lord Oh’s side. No doubt the man was drunk and the day had barely begun. Jongin readies himself for his announcement and he bows down once more.

“Lord Oh, I am here to inform you that when entering Southern Feraveth along the mountain path, we were ambushed by bandits. We were attacked with a rain of fire arrows and we lost the lives of soldiers and handmaidens. I was not able to inform you sooner because I had also sustained injuries and was fending for my survival in the wilderness. Consort Do, was killed in the fray and she fell into the river below. Unfortunately there was nothing I could have done to save her,” Jongin delivers the announcement with proper regret for his own fallen party and blends it into the lies about Kyungsoo’s wellbeing. He keeps his head down as the room is overcome with a sickening silence and Jongin takes a deep breath. A light chuckle taints the air before it grows into an even deeper full bodied laughter. Jongin lifts his head and stares at Lord Oh in complete shock. 

“I have heard great things about you General Kim, since you first arrived at the palace. My brother told me of a small orphan left at the gates to die who was raised by the previous General. I was told this boy would grow into a strong man who would be righteous and true. What would my brother think if I told him that his General was a dog like all other men? A thief who coveted the Lord’s Consort for himself,” Lord Oh spits down at Jongin who steps back in offense. The doors behind them are pushed open and Jongin turns, his heart sinking when he sees Kyungsoo being dragged in by guards. His hair is a mess and his cheeks are red, his legs bruised. The sight made Jongin burn with anger. Kyungsoo is brought to Jongin’s side and roughly thrown onto the ground, his head smacking against it with the force. 

“We were informed of a particular couple checking into the inn. You see, the people in this town are controlled by one thing and one thing only. And that is money. Here, give this to the innkeeper,” Lord Oh says as he nonchalantly tosses a bag of gold coins at the guards. Jongin didn’t expect them to actually follow through with that, they would probably take the money for themselves. Kyungsoo lifts himself up beside him and looks at Lord Oh in complete fear. Jongin wants to help him stand but he can see the guards beginning to surround them in his peripheral vision, if he tried to touch Kyungsoo he would be killed. Lord Oh stands from his throne and he passes by Jongin who grimaces at the heavy smell of alcohol, perfume and sex. Kyungsoo cries out when Lord Oh grabs him by the hair and drags him up the steps back up towards his throne. Kyungsoo tries to free himself but he can’t, he’s clearly been injured when brought here. Jongin clenches his fist.

“Did you expect to fool me General? Did you expect to get away with stealing what was not yours? I would have never considered you to be swayed by a woman. You who always acted like you were better than everyone else because you were so devoted to your King. You have betrayed the King and the King’s brother. For a whore,” Lord Oh speaks as if he can’t hold in his laughter and he grips Kyungsoo harshly by the chin, lifting his face. Kyungsoo’s eyes are clenched shut and his body is rigid. Lord Oh traces his fingers along the marks Jongin had left on Kyungsoo’s skin and when he reaches the top of Kyungsoo’s robes, Jongin unconsciously steps forward in a growing rage. The soldiers around him immediately close in and Jongin grits his teeth when Kyungsoo’s upper robes are viciously torn from his torso, revealing his chest and stomach. Everyone in the room pauses and Kyungsoo begins to sob.

“A man?! I have been tricked!” Lord Oh yells and the sound reverberates around the large throne room and Jongin begins to see red.

“You slept with a man, General Kim? You are worse than I made you out to be. Although, his body is quite… erotic. Maybe I will have a taste as well before your very eyes. Once I am satisfied I will kill you both!” Lord Oh laughs hysterically and Kyungsoo scratches his arms. Freeing his face before he turns and kicks as hard as he can. The momentum causes Kyungsoo to roll down the steps leading up to the throne and for Lord Oh can make his next decree the doors are burst open once more. Everyone turns to the unwanted guests and Jongin’s chest clenches in a way he can’t explain when he sees Sehun with Baekhyun and Chanyeol by his side. His expression is downright furious once he takes in the sight of the room. The guards surrounding Jongin and Kyungsoo who was beaten and barely dressed as well as his uncle who was beginning to grow purple from his anger.

“Uncle! I will not tolerate your tyranny any longer! Step down peacefully and no one will get hurt!” Sehun declares and Lord Oh removes his thick cape, throwing it down onto the ground before he glares at his nephew. 

“You would kill your own uncle? For what, power? You just have to wait for your throne,” Lord Oh seethes and Sehun draws his sword.

“Blood will not be drawn if we need not be uncle. I come today for the liberation of Southern Feraveth for our unity, as it was once before!” Sehun approaches and Lord Oh draws his own sword. Jongin pulled Kyungsoo to his side and behind him, where there were no soldiers. He has no weapon and he would not be able to protect Kyungsoo if a fight were to break out. 

“You are a fool just as your father is! I will put you in your place and take the throne after my brother has died,” Lord Oh declares and Sehun sends forth his army he had brought with him. Jongin dodges a swing coming from his left but when he steps back to push Kyungsoo away he is sliced on the arm.

“General Kim! Consort Do!” Baekhyun and Chanyeol force their way closer and they both hand each of them a sword. Jongin rejoices in having his own sword once more and he draws it, gritting his teeth and protecting Kyungsoo with no mercy to the men who wish to harm him. He knows that Kyungsoo was not taught how to sword fight and he would not be able to protect himself against these soldiers. 

“Kyungsoo you need to get away, Baekhyun go with him! I need to aid the Crowned Prince!” Chanyeol, watch my back!” Jongin orders and they all follow immediately though he can see that Kyungsoo is reluctant to leave his side. Jongin skips the steps leading up to the throne and he defends Sehun who was fighting his uncle. Their backs meet as he wards off three guards at once, watching as they fall down the steps. He hadn’t fought in some time and his bed rest left him a little weaker than usual but he would still hold his own for his Crowned Prince and dearest friend.

“I received your letter, we will end this here and now,” Sehun says to him and Jongin’s nerves relax slightly.

“Thank you. Sehun, I cannot be without him,” Jongin says through clenched teeth and with one nod from his friend they part once more to defend each other. The Southern soldiers are steadily being pushed back by the Northern soldiers and Jongin can see that Sehun brought a substantial amount of people with him. It was no secret that his friend would overcome his uncle someday but Jongin hadn’t expected it to be today. Once he sees that the soldiers in front of him have surrendered, Jongin turns to see that Sehun had dropped his sword and that his uncle was ready to swing at him. It doesn’t take much thinking on his end, his legs carry him before he can understand what’s going on. Everything moves slowly as Jongin sprints to take the swing from Lord Oh and he can see Kyungsoo staring at him, those beautiful brown eyes ridden with utter fear. Jongin prays that such an expression will never be on his face again. 

“JONGIN!!!” Kyungsoo screams as Lord Oh brings down his sword and slices across Jongin’s abdomen, from his shoulder to his hip. Jongin falls to the ground immediately and Sehun grabs his sword, standing before he stabs his uncle through the heart. Jongin can’t tell what’s going on around him however he can hear the heavy thud of Lord Oh’s dead body and he can hear the frantic footsteps coming his way. Sehun is by his side in a second, holding his hand and screaming for a medic. It all sounds like white noise in Jongin’s head. The wound across his abdomen had felt like fire only moments ago but now? Everything was beginning to feel cold. Kyungsoo’s panicked face comes into his view next and he can’t help but smile, feeling warm just from seeing his beauty.

“Jongin please, you cannot leave. You promised me that you would return unharmed,” Kyungsoo pleads as he desperately tries to apply pressure to Jongin’s wound. But it is too large and his hands are too small. Jongin struggles to take in breaths but he forces himself to reach into his inner robes, pulling out his mother’s pin before he holds it out for Kyungsoo to take.

“Take this Kyungsoo. Take it with you and _live_. My moon, do not cry for me,” Jongin’s heart sings at the warmth of Kyungsoo’s hand in his own. So warm, so alive. His own life was leaving him, he was aware of this. He turns to Sehun and he musters a grin,

“My dearest friend, I know you will lead Feraveth to a bright future even without me by your side,” Jongin attempts to say in a teasing tone, a common joke between them being that Sehun was hopeless without him. His grin falters as he coughs up blood and he can feel a weight on his chest. 

“Tell my father that I was proud to be his son, please,” Jongin coughs up blood and he looks up at those around him. Kyungsoo… Sehun… Baekhyun… Chanyeol… oh how he wished that he could stay longer. Be with them all a little longer. There was so much more he wanted to say, so much more he wanted to do however, time was cruel and it had been taken from him. 

“A little longer Jongin, please just stay a little longer,” Kyungsoo pleads and he holds onto Jongin’s hand tightly, desperately trying to hold onto him. Jongin’s eyes dart across the high ceiling and he exhales deeply, his body slumping into a lifeless heap. His eyes try to focus but his field of vision begins to narrow in, darkness surrounding him. His only light, his moon continues to weep for him and he when he goes, he goes with no regrets, only wishes for his moon to live the way he should. To live the life he would have given him if only they had more time.

“Remember me as you go, my sun,” Kyungsoo holds his cheeks and leans down to kiss his lips, a farewell. His tears are hot as they fall onto Jongin’s face, he does not wince at the feeling. A small smile spreads on his lips and he closes his eyes, a shaking song on his moon’s lips as he is taken away from them. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Kyungsoo! Someone is here to visit you,” Kyungsoo lifts his head in the shed a little too quickly and he hits his head off of the roof. The impact causes him to fall on his butt and he sighs deeply as the floorboards creak and the man who called for him enters the shed to help him stand. Kyungsoo looks up at the man’s gentle smile and he can’t help but laugh at his own expense before he takes hold of the strong hand reaching out to him.

“I am sorry I should not have startled you,” the man chuckles and Kyungsoo feels tears of joy seeping from his eyes as he stands up.

“Please do not apologize, I still startle so easily,” Kyungsoo eases the older man’s worries and when they step outside of the shed he can see a very familiar horse. A smile blooms on his face as he greets the animal with a pat to the nose and a kiss to the cheek. Sehun dismounts and greets them both with a bow.

“Good day, former General Kim and Kyungsoo,” the former General and Kyungsoo both bow in return. Sehun was dressed in noble robes and the lavender colour was soft and bright as he smiled before them.

“I bring good news today. We have been able to reconcile with the South and we will be called as one Feraveth once more. My father will be stepping down from the throne in due time and I would be honoured if you two will attend my coronation,” Sehun seems happy but Kyungsoo can tell that he has a heavy amount of duty on his shoulders. However, he knows that he will be aided well. For Baekhyun would be his personal guard and Chanyeol would be the new General, training Minseok by his side. Joohyun was also offered a position at Feraveth’s palace, not wanting to leave him alone. She would be the King’s advisor, trained by Yixing himself.

“Of course we will attend Crowned Prince. Now, I must return to the fields. Do not keep Kyungsoo from work for too long, we have work to do before his mother’s arrival,” the former General says farewell and stalks off to the fields once more. Kyungsoo can see Jongin in him at times. They may not have been related by blood and they may not have any visual similarities but in the way they speak and move, Kyungsoo can see them both. 

“I have come to pay my respects, Kyungsoo,” Sehun says quietly before he pulls out a single flower from his sleeve. Kyungsoo leads him into the house and they both remove their shoes before entering. In the main room was an altar adorned with used candles and sheets of paper with ink and a brush. There was a portrait of Jongin painted and framed there, a smile on his face. Sehun greets his friend again and Kyungsoo looks away, his hand unconsciously touching Jongin’s pin that was always right over his heart. 

“Becoming King was always something I imagined with you by my side. The palace feels empty without you my friend,” Sehun says quietly and Kyungsoo closes his eyes. His home was also empty without Jongin there. His bed is empty without him. His heart is empty without him. Sehun lights the candle and he writes a message to Jongin, something only he knows before he burns it, sending the smoke to the heavens above. He stands up and he stands beside Kyungsoo, smiling when he sees Jongin’s pin. 

“Jongin… he was not someone who loved easily. There were people in his life who loved him and rarely did he ever open his heart to them. He loved you and I want to thank you for letting him experience the feeling of someone loving him in return. His last days with you were like a dream he said,” Sehun reveals and Kyungsoo unconsciously places his hand over Jongin’s pin, a reminder of his sun. Sehun places a hand on his shoulder and gives him a tight lipped smile,

“Continue to live brightly Kyungsoo,” Sehun says and Kyungsoo glances back at Jongin’s altar.

“I will Sehun.”

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that was "Love the Moon" :') <3  
> Thank you so much for reading till the very end! This story really has my soul in it  
> Again, do look out for the bonus chapter I will be posting at some point!  
> The action scene is a bit brief I know... I'm not very good at writing those but I do hope I managed to get the feelings across  
> Thank you dearly to everyone who helped me through this process  
> Please lemme know what you thought! I will be looking forward to your reactions <3  
> Thank you thank you to the mods and do take care everyone!


	5. BONUS CHAPTER (Writing Thoughts)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This doesn't have anything to do with the plot of the story or anything  
> Kind of just my writing process and thoughts I had  
> Thank you again to everyone who read this fic!

Hello hello and welcome to the bonus chapter! I’ve been working on this somewhat actively since the fest was started so it’s been a very long process that I kind of wanted to share a little bit of! Just some thoughts and what not regarding certain parts and reasons why I had the story go as it did. I’ll also talk about some alternate endings and what not, I hope it doesn’t ruin the experience for y’all but I want to share it somewhere.

So initially, Kyungsoo was going to die. I was always going to have one of them die, it was never going to be a happy ending where both of them lived. I just feel like there’s no… real outcome? They’ve been through a lot and with a mini civil battle like that, you can’t just have no losses and come out with a victory. The ending was something that took me a long time to come to. I didn’t want Jongin to just give him up to Lord Oh with no reason, it didn’t make much sense to just have Kyungsoo be brought in. Though that was the first ending LOL Jongin was going to give up Kyungsoo then meet Sehun halfway and they would’ve stormed the southern palace together but when Jongin arrived, Kyungsoo would already be gone. 

He’d battle lifelessly, seeing Kyungsoo’s corpse hanging and then he’d see his mother’s pin and remember to live on, to continue fighting for Kyungsoo. That would’ve been fine but I was like… hmm do I want Kyungsoo to die? Y’all know his past, he’s already been through so much and it wouldn’t be satisfying to just have him as a pitiful character that lives and dies with no real happiness in his life. And so I switched it up and had Jongin die instead, to kind of teach Kyungsoo a lesson in life? Give him a reason to want to actually live and make his own choices. Kind of like Jack and Rose in Titanic :’) 

So when it comes to Kyungsoo’s character, I had a reason why he was so drawn to Jongin. It wasn’t just based on looks or anything. I didn’t tap into homosexuality much in this because it wasn’t the place to do so but as y’all know, it isn’t common to be homosexual back then. It was quite taboo. When I was coming up with Kyungsoo’s character I was thinking a little bit regarding the Oedipus complex? Though that wasn’t really right LOL essentially, Kyungsoo has issues with father figures in his life. He had his mother and an old man who didn’t teach him much. And when he learned who his father was, he was essentially imprisoned in the palace because he was seen as a threat. 

But when he met Jongin, he met someone who was strong and unafraid of who he was and the responsibility he held. He didn’t hide from it and he took everything that came his way, he was the General and everyone knew it. He was a strong pillar that Kyungsoo hadn’t had before and he had vowed to keep him safe and protected, something he never had growing up. He and his mother were shunned by the town they lived in, as a woman with a child born out of wedlock. So that was why Kyungsoo was so drawn to Jongin in the first place, that was my thought process on that. 

Now for some blooper stuff aha, I talked to a good handful of people about this fic since talking about it helped me plan it out better. And lemme tell ya, a drunken conversation about this kind of stuff does not bode well for any actual story planning but it was a lot of fun. Of course I was going for a more serious way of writing and there wasn’t any room for comedy aside from the few scenes with Baekhyun and Chanyeol but when it came to Kyungsoo who was hiding his identity as a man there were a lot of laughs.

About him having to shave his facial hair in the carriage or everyone knowing Kyungsoo was a man except for Jongin. Also when it came to Jongin’s initial reaction when he learned that Kyungsoo was a man there was a joke about his lack of tiddies XD childish I know but funny at the time. Oh and him attempting CPR but being unable to with his injured arm so he kind of just headbangs Kyungsoo’s chest in order to compress XDDDDD or mangoes falling out of his inner robes that acted as his breasts XDDDDDDDD

Oh and Jongin going to Lord Oh and talking about how Kyungsoo “died” during the ambush was also a laugh.

“So umm the Consort? She died, sorry man I didn’t mean for it to happen,”

“Died?”

“Yeah she just died. I don’t know how,” XDDD

ANYWAYS LOL I know that part won’t be funny to anyone but me and my wifey who I had these conversations with but I thought I’d share it, just in case anyone was curious about my writing process (not that I think you would be but uhh I’m sharing this on my own selfish accord)

I worked extremely hard on this fic and it’s been an idea that I’ve been wanting to put out for a very long time. I didn’t have the means to actually write it though because I knew it would be a huge project. But when my good friend and our lovely mod Bellatrix told me she was starting this fest I decided that I would pick up this story and write it for this fest. It served as inspiration and motivation and naturally I dedicate this story to her. 

I’m just so happy that it’s done. That I actually managed to write it and finish it, it’s so satisfying. I’m also quite pleased with how it turned out! There’s a lot of bits that I’m really proud of and I’ve always adored historical au’s so naturally I was all in. 

I’ll stop talking so much now LOL but side note! I don’t know if anyone realized but the kingdoms in this story, Feraveth and Zelithiel are actually part of my fictional universe stored for historical au’s. The other two kingdoms mentioned Aralicia and Pralin were actually in my fics “Till Sunrise” and “Daydream” :’) I managed to bring it full circle!!! I’m so excited hehe I want to delve into these kingdoms more for sure.

Anyways, thank you so much for reading this story and reading this mess if you did. I love writing, it’s stressful at times but it really is something I’m passionate about :’) <3

Take care y’all!

  * Airi



P.S. I thought I would share my personal favourite moments or little things I was hoping people would notice! In general, my favourite chapter is 3, Kim Jongin & Do Kyungsoo. I was able to really show you guys the heart of these two people, without the titles and duties and everything else. Just them. Chapter 3 took me the longest and it is the longest chapter LOL so that makes sense. I really loved writing the festival scene, I always enjoy writing kaisoo dancing. 

I actually added that scene because Kyungsoo couldn’t go to the festival with the others. Though that scene with him and Jongin waiting for the others to return from the festival was also one of my favourites. Any of the moments where they could actually talk. They’ve been drawn to each other from the beginning, that was for sure but the feelings of love blossomed through their actual interactions, not their gazing. Which they did a lot of LOL

Also my favourite piece of dialogue was the bit at the end of chapter 3, I came up with it a while back and when I finally got to write it I was so excited. The whole, “You are a cruel man, General Kim.” Cruel for giving him hope when he’s already giving up :’) 

I won’t drag this on longer, I add a whole buttload of little details in my writing. If you noticed those then thank you, it’s much appreciated. I had a clear vision of this story in my head and I wrote it as I visualized it. Again, thank you for reading ‘Love the Moon’! <3


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